how long does it take to let someone go?! you both know it is not a healthy thing... but you are so used to each other you just feel stuck... fear of letting go? fear of being alone? don't want that other to hurt, or be a stalker? what do you do?? how do you know it is truly over?

wow, i have been there and its not only confusing but hard, but you have to let go no matter what

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT..
LET GO. NO CONTACT.
UNLESS NECESSARY [[CHiLDREN]]

My last marriage was like that. I guess you just know when it is over, you feel it in your very soul. The fear of the unknown future can keep you in the relationship for a long time until you decide to be strong and move forward. In my experience my fear was greater than reality.

thats being co dependant!!! You are so used to that person that you are lost without that person even though he is bad for you....addiction to people.....

Been there, done that, got the t shirt.....No idea how long it takes.......but these guys are right, no contact, no phone calls, is the best way. Find yourself and who you are and what you want in life.

Agreed..Find something else to do...Sorry it happened to you.

let it go. my ex bF and I did that forever. It keeps you from what's ahead ..

While you are watching over your shoulder you are missing what's in front of you..........

You know you are codependent when they finish your sentences for you but you can't leave yet because your sentence isn't over yet because just as soon as she finishes your sentence you make a new sentence and are waiting for her to finish that one but that sentence hasn't started yet.

my ex and i broke up in September; he now manages to show up where i hang out. i still care deeply for him, but i've also moved on and started dating someone else. now HE decides he needs me back, he hurt me very badly. hurt me once shame on you; hurt me twice shame on me. as much as i would like to get back with him it isn't the best thing for me. move on hon

What exactly do you mean by come over? Are you talking about still having sex with the ex?

Going around after it is over is just asking for misery.
The old one more time for old time sake is a great way to get stuck with a unwanted pregnancy or an STD or both. Too often the EX has sewed some wild oats and you haven't a clue what you are exposeing yourself too. Guys this goes for you too. I am talking about serious "exposure" here; like HIV Aids or HepC.
It is also a very common way to lead to getting arrested. Do you really need that hangover over your head the reat of your life messing up employment and scareing off anyone smart enough to do a background check which many women or single parents now do a routine saftey pre-caution.
Last, but not least, do you need to get shot? Nervouse Ex lovers, their new lovers, their angry parents, or your kids home alone often are "packing heat". Not to mention the busy body neighbors who might just want to be a hero or the cop on the beat who has xeen way to many domestic homicides.