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Topic: I don't know what to do
miles143's photo
Mon 09/07/15 12:39 AM
Hi everyone, i just want to share this since there's a lot of people in here and maybe some of you can give me a piece of an advice. I meet this guy on the internet, we communicate everyday for a few months now until i realized that im already inlove with him. Never know when it started, i just feel it. He is 44 years old and im 24 years old. He said he like me so much but he only see me as a friend. He doesn't show any interest or talk about relationship and having a commitment. He wants to meet me when his coming in philippines for a vacation. My problem is he knows that i have feelings for him. It sounds like a confession, its just slip out in my mouth when we're on the middle of conversation. I had no idea if he really wants to be with me or he just love the idea of having someone for a vacation, since he already know how i feel for him. I feel like a fool when he told me that his still dont know who can win his heart. Im disappointed and hurt but the feeling never change. I just need a helpful advice.

no photo
Mon 09/07/15 12:41 AM
Run! Don't waste your time on a man who has made it clear he is not into you. He will only end up using you.

no photo
Mon 09/07/15 12:41 AM
Edited by stefiepek on Mon 09/07/15 12:44 AM
He just need someone for a vacation.
Either you are available to entertain him or not.

dreamerana's photo
Mon 09/07/15 12:48 AM

Run! Don't waste your time on a man who has made it clear he is not into you. He will only end up using you.


I agree with this ^^^^^^
in your post you stated that he only sees you as a friend and he doesn't show interest in relationship and commitment.

you've pretty much answered your own question.
value yourself more than to just be somebody's momentary entertainment. that will be someone out there who appreciates all that you are.

blah..blah..'s photo
Mon 09/07/15 12:51 AM
let it go
move on
plenty more fish in the sea etc


miles143's photo
Mon 09/07/15 01:00 AM
brokenheart
I keep myself not talking to him for 1 week but didn't make it for a week. You know its not easy. But thank you all for the advice.

TyphoonMk1b's photo
Mon 09/07/15 01:07 AM
i am in line with "iamwholiam"...

but i would have used less sensitive words.
he is up to no good.

no photo
Mon 09/07/15 01:20 AM

brokenheart
I keep myself not talking to him for 1 week but didn't make it for a week. You know its not easy. But thank you all for the advice.


payong kapatid.flowerforyou

isa lang masasabi ko sa yo...

wag mong isugal ang sarili mo sa alanganin na sitwasyon.

hinde ko alam ang klase ng tao ang tinutukoy mo. pero sa iniisip ko, kung sya ay puti, iba ang estilo ng salita nila. kadalasan ang pakikipag-flirt ay normal lang na ginagawa nila sa kaibigan. baka dito nahulog ang loob mo...

sinabi na nya ang intensyon nya. kaibigan lang. hinde sya interesado sa isang relasyon na hinahanap mo. mas matanda sya sa yo at mas maraming karanasan. matamis man ang salita nya sa damdamin mo, pero ang hinahanap mo ay walang katotohanan sa kanya.

karapatan mo maramdaman ang ano man nararamdaman mo. pero wag mong kalimutan gamitin ang utak mo at ang mga magagandang-asal bilang isang babaeng Pilipina na may takot sa Dyos.

alam ko mahirap supilin ang sigaw ng damdamin. pero mas mahirap pagsisihan ang mga katangahan na ginagawa natin sa sarili natin.

hanggang pag-kakaibigan lang ang ilagay mo sa isip mo para hinde ka maguluhan. wag mong ibigay ang bagay na hinde ka handa na ibigay.

ingat. smile2

miles143's photo
Mon 09/07/15 01:51 AM
in my mind im still hoping that he can feel the way i did. and i almost cry for this. Sobrang na-touch ako. Tama ka puti nga sya, hindi ko rin lubos akalain na mai-inlove ako sa 20years older kaysa sa'kin. Alam mo yung gulong-gulo yung utak mo na kahit sarili mo di na kayang i-handle. Kailangan ko lang talaga makarinig ng ganito. Dapat noon ko pa to pinost dito. Pinatagal ko pa. Lumala na tuloy. Maraming salamat sa advice. Hopia kasi ako eh.

Vera's photo
Mon 09/07/15 02:30 AM
Oh dear,
Yeah, after long time talking trust and love was growing in your heart. And he was enjoying it, playing with it, playing with your feelings. He is looking for bed and breakfast in the Philippines? Hey!

I thank God for opening your eyes to see the truth. You may cry for a while, but not for too long please. You are such a nice lady. Don't run after men. Men have to run after YOU! Especially the right one! That's the way it happened to me, now, at age of 59. I got married last year, by Mingle2. You gonna feel so unbelievable when the right man is running for your love!
My advice: Don't compromise! God's Word says, you shall not lack of anything, you shall have the fullness of life. Amen

1onlyaname's photo
Mon 09/07/15 02:43 AM
Run! Don't waste your time on a man who has made it clear he is not into you. He will only end up using you.

why should she run??? why shouldn't she meet him? you can't meet someone before a commitment??

no photo
Mon 09/07/15 02:46 AM
Edited by Pansytilly on Mon 09/07/15 03:13 AM

in my mind im still hoping that he can feel the way i did. and i almost cry for this. Sobrang na-touch ako. Tama ka puti nga sya, hindi ko rin lubos akalain na mai-inlove ako sa 20years older kaysa sa'kin. Alam mo yung gulong-gulo yung utak mo na kahit sarili mo di na kayang i-handle. Kailangan ko lang talaga makarinig ng ganito. Dapat noon ko pa to pinost dito. Pinatagal ko pa. Lumala na tuloy. Maraming salamat sa advice. Hopia kasi ako eh.


sa isang punto, kung kaya ka nya respetuhin, hinde ka nya dadalhin sa alanganin na sitwasyon, lalo na alam nya na pang-matagalan ang inaasahan mo. sinabi naman na nya na kaibigan lang.

ngayon, kung ikaw ang mag-dadala sa sarili mo sa alanganin na sitwasyon para pagbigyan sya at sarili mo sa isang akala kahit na alam mong wala ka makukuha na katotohanan sa inaasahan mo, hinde na sya yun may pagkukulang dyan. maraming namamatay sa maling akala at lalo na sa maling pag-asa at pag-nanasa.

isipin mo ng maigi...may dala ka pa rin na reputasyon bilang sarili mo at bilang isang Pinay. hinde natin pwede ipagkaila ang lahat ng pangyayari at pananaw na umiiral sa pagitan ng mga kababaihang Pilipina at mga kalalakihang puti. masama man sa pandinig ng iba kung alam nila na ito ang sinasabi ko, at siguradong maraming titira at pupuna, pero yan ay isang katotohanan na alam mo rin.

pero para sa akin, kahit anong lahi ka man, babae ka pa rin. may karangalan ka bilang babae. kung paano mo pangangalagahan ang karangalan na iyan, ikaw lang ang lubos na nakaka-alam.

ayaw kong maghusga, pero ulitin ko, walang problema maging mag-kaibigan kung totoong kaibigan nga lang ang turing nya sa yo. pero alalahanin mo ang sarili mong katayuan at karangalan. kahit anong gawin mo, huwag mong basta-bastang ipamigay ang kinabukasan mo, sa aktwal man pati sa emosyonal. subukan, alamin at siguraduhin mo kung may patutunguhan ang kinabukasan mo bago mo ipagkatiwala ang puso at sarili mo.

TyphoonMk1b's photo
Mon 09/07/15 02:47 AM
Dude, all he wants is to get in her pants, from all the info we got?

but yea, why not! what could possibly go wrong!

naah be serious here for a moment...

TawtStrat's photo
Mon 09/07/15 02:52 AM
Some people don't allow themselves to get emotionally involved with people that they only know on the internet. What do you expect him to say when he hasn't even met you yet? He's said that he does want to come and meet you and he does know that you have feelings for him. If he was really up to no good he would be more likely to have made you all sorts of promises but he hasn't done that.

If it was me I wouldn't make you any promises either and I would just wait and see how we got on when we met. I certainly wouldn't want to get off the plane to find that you had told your whole family that we were in love and that they were already planning our wedding.

1onlyaname's photo
Mon 09/07/15 03:03 AM
meet him if there something about him you love. just meet. spend a day with him. you can't get every man to "commit". and he has never met you. take him to MOA have coffee cheesecake at starbucks . masarap! how will that damage you?? seriously ladies do men need to commit before the first date??? how is this man going to use you? why all the drama?? spend a day with him show him you are a lady. hard to meet ladies these days most women want to just jump in the bed and think they own us after sex.

1onlyaname's photo
Mon 09/07/15 03:16 AM
Dude, all he wants is to get in her pants, from all the info we got?

but yea, why not! what could possibly go wrong!

naah be serious here for a moment...

I'm very serious no one can get in her pants unless she takes them off. you are bashing the man! you know nothing about him. if all he wants is sex drop him off in malate at LA cafe tell have fun this is your kinda place. no one goes to manila and forces themselves on women!!!

TyphoonMk1b's photo
Mon 09/07/15 03:22 AM
That is true. you can find friends for the night all around the globe, agree.
No need to force either, just open the wallet.

but if he is flaky, and she looks forward to him
if he thinks vacation fun, and she thinks relationship...

There must be something wayyyy off here.

But, to be honest, to make an informed assessment (ugh... i like that word)
we need to hear the man as well.

1onlyaname's photo
Mon 09/07/15 03:26 AM
if they do they will find themselves in the monkey house.

1onlyaname's photo
Mon 09/07/15 03:45 AM
That is true. you can find friends for the night all around the globe, agree.
No need to force either, just open the wallet.

but if he is flaky, and she looks forward to him
if he thinks vacation fun, and she thinks relationship...

There must be something wayyyy off here.

But, to be honest, to make an informed assessment (ugh... i like that word)
we need to hear the man as well.

if you commit online to marriage and go and have sex misleading the woman. daddy can put u on a black list and you will have to explain yourself next time. doesn't happen often but it does happen. then forget the wallet open the bank account.

no photo
Mon 09/07/15 04:43 AM
He said he like me so much but he only see me as a friend. He doesn't show any interest or talk about relationship and having a commitment. He wants to meet me when his coming in philippines for a vacation. My problem is he knows that i have feelings for him. I had no idea if he really wants to be with me or he just love the idea of having someone for a vacation, since he already know how i feel for him.


That screams like he is NOT INTERESTED because he gives her absolutely NO HOPE of his interest. He is using her for a place to crash for his vacation.

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