A hillbilly went hunting one day in Georgia and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by an ornery game warden who didn't like hillbillies.

The game warden ordered the hillbilly to show his hunting license, and the hillbilly pulled out a valid Georgia hunting license.

The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, This duck ain't from Georgia . This is a Tennessee duck. You got a Tennessee huntin' license, boy?

The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Tennessee
hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the
second duck, sniffed its butt, and said, This ain't no Tennessee duck. This duck's from Mississippi . You got a Mississippi license?

The hillbilly reached into his wallet and produced a Mississippi hunting license.

The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt and said, This ain't no Mississippi duck. This here duck's from South Carolina . You got a South Carolina huntin' license?

Again, the hillbilly reached into his wallet and brought out a South Carolina hunting license.

The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he
yelled at the hillbilly, Boy, just where the hell are you from?

The hillbilly turned around, dropped his pants, bent over, and
said,You tell me.......You're the expert.

now that was funny!

OMG that was funny

what men would do if they had a vagin@ for a day
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple 0rgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned G-spot.

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead p*ssy.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.

i know thats true!!

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his pen1s in the mommy’s v@gina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s pen1s in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?






The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

OMG!!! Lmao!!

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.

Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.

"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.

Naturally, the guy began to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.

"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

teacher was at tha front of tha class and she said "today's word is discreet can anyone spell it?" little dale in the back raised his hand " yes dale " " discreet d-i-s-c-r-e-e-t " "Very good do you know how to use it in a sentence?" "yea Ma'am" "Me and my brotha were in the yard playin basket bawl and the bawl got away from us and rolled in discreet."

the teacher says "today's word is moteif does anyone know how to spell it?" little dale raises his hand "yes dale" "moteif m-o-t-e-i-f" "very good do you know how to use it in a sentence?" "yeah ma'am" " my cousin ralph got moteif than anybody in my whole family"

the teacher says "today's word is moteif does anyone know how to spell it?" little dale raises his hand "yes dale" "moteif m-o-t-e-i-f" "very good do you know how to use it in a sentence?" "yeah ma'am" " my cousin ralph got moteif than anybody in my whole family"

so i was speedin down tha rode and a copper got behind me so i went around a curve lookin fer a spot to pull ovar and a log truck was in tha other lain and a turkey was in fronta me so i decided to go ahead and hit it well it hit my 98 ford ranger 5 speed witha turbo kit and lift kit on er and hit the cops winshild and busted it up and the cop gave me a ticket anyways fer.......................................................................................................................................................................flippin tha bird




i want ur honest oppinion can i tell good jokes or just corny ones

John, woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.

After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him.

"Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"

"Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete @ss of yourself. You succeeded in antagonising the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face."

"He's an @sshole," John said. "Pis$ on him."

"You did," came the reply. "And he fired you."

"Well, screw him!" said John.

"I did. You're back at work on Monday.

A blonde lady was driving along the highway when a blonde police officer pulled her over for speeding.

Officer: May i see your licence?

Lady: what does it look like?

Officer: its a rectangular thing with a photo of you on it.

The lady looks through her bag and pulls out her compact mirror and hands it to the officer.

The officer opens it up and says 'if you had told me you were a police officer I wouldn't have pulled you over.'

you might be a red neck if


Your state's got a new law that says when a couple
get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.