Topic: After suffering a terrible loss...
CreasyBear's photo
Sat 10/20/07 08:01 PM
How does one move on after suffering a terrible loss? I lost my wife not too long ago, and I'm tired of being alone. How can I move on with my life and not disrespect her memory? And really, who would want to start a relationship with a man in my position? Rebound? Baggage? How do I handle this?

brian325's photo
Sat 10/20/07 08:03 PM
Take time to clear your head, at this time in your life you need to think of number one (yourself). You wouldn't be any good to anyone if you weren't of clear mind & soul. Good luck my friend! drinker

no photo
Sat 10/20/07 08:05 PM
I wouldnt think it would be disrepecting her memory, she should want oyu to be happy.. I would make sure you take enough to grieve so you are not jumpy into to something.. and dont jump into a relationship just becasue you are lonely tha tmakes a person clingy adn that is never good

oldsage's photo
Sat 10/20/07 08:08 PM
Gwen died 10+yrs ago, start by looking for friends & conversation. Lots of good people here & we will help you thru it. Don't jump out of lonelyness.
Need to chat, write me.

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Sat 10/20/07 08:11 PM
Listen to Sage ^^^ please..he speaks from experience and his advice is always solid, plenty of warm friendly people here always willing to listen and share a laugh.

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Sat 10/20/07 08:11 PM
As long you are upfront about your situation, the right woman will understand and probably help you along though the healing period. But, for the most part it is by your own effort to safe yourself for the sadness and your loss.

No one can forget or just brush away a memory like such but you can find a comfortable place where you can continue living

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Sat 10/20/07 08:18 PM
life is endings and begginings, respect is what stays in the heart and mind. you took the first step putting yourself out there again. whats the saying its better to have lost love ,than to have never known love. we are creatures of needs i hope that you find friends to meet yours.

no photo
Sat 10/20/07 08:25 PM
*save

Interact more on the site, it helps to put your mind on something else to help you. Like depression, don't allow the situation consume you. I met heaps of nice people on the forum, sometimes laughing at our silly posts is healing in itself.

JaymeStephens84a0lc's photo
Sat 10/20/07 08:35 PM
First I want to say I am so sorry for what you are going through.
You will know when you are ready. I would say for now just make friends and work through your grief. I do not believe for one second that your wife would want you to be lonely sweetheart, so never at any time will she feel that you've disrespected her. It sounds to me like you had a wonderful love, and in that its unselfish. She is where there is no more pain and no more anger, and all she wants for you is for you to be nothing but happy and move on with your life. Yes, you should always remember her, but don't let that stop you from going on. She would never want that. None of us want that for you either. I wish you all the best.

TheCaptain's photo
Sat 10/20/07 08:40 PM
Hey CB. I too lost my wife at an early age. The best way that I can think to give her memory the respect that it deserves is by continuing with life. I feel that my wife is smiling at me from heaven. She sees the new relationship that I have begun, and to this day stands beside me, wanting me to be happy. If there is anything I could ever help with, just send an e-mail.

nanafry's photo
Sat 10/20/07 08:42 PM
It's been 4 years since my husband passed away and joing JSH was probably the best thing for me. I actually feel alive now and not just robotic and going through the motions of living.
Been here in NC 2yrs and had not made any friends, associates from jobs, but no real friends. Youcan look for friends right in your own backyard or form other states and countries. They are right find and chat with some friends and move at your own pace. Good Luck!

Marie55's photo
Sat 10/20/07 09:36 PM
Looks like you got a lot of good advice from the people above. I don't know if you have thought about counseling, but most hospitals have groups for family members dealing with the loss of a loved one, and they tend to be free. Our hospital has one and it has helped a lot of people. It is just a chance to meet with other people who are going through a similar experience and you share your experience and you help each other grieve and heal. Just a thought.

I am sorry for your loss, but also glad you joined the site. There are a lot of good people on here. Join in the threads so people can get to know you and you will make friends. Welcome, take care.

HillFolk's photo
Sun 10/21/07 06:22 PM
Some of the things that helped me is extra pillows; Keeping an uplifting radio station going; Talk to others who have went through the grieving process or atleast who hav suffered a loss; Learn how to laugh again; Get in touch with your feelings and emotions by not being emotionally distant and socialize with everything whether it is other people, animals and even nature. If you ever need to share just send an email. As the Salvation Army says, "Sharing is Caring".