Singlehood is not synonymous to loneliness. You are a complete person looking for someone to compliment you. That's my take. What's yours?

Your viewpoint exudes so much truth that despite my sincerest endeavor to add something, I failed!

It should be.
Singlehood, the longer you maintain it, is ultimately saying "no one thinks your DNA is worth fighting for to pass on."


Do you mean complement?

If I'm seeking someone to compliment me it makes it seem like I'm seeking a sycophant to worship me and sing my praises.
Although, if I'm single long enough without any kind of "oops, I got (someone) pregnant out of desperation or simple inability to control myself since I'm essentially a grown up child" type of event, I'd probably want someone to sing my praises based on my answer to the first question.

But I don't really want someone that complements me either.
That kinda implies I see people as an accessory.
That I'm a complete person. I got the shoes, the shirt, the pants of a complete person, I just need the other person belt to complement my complete person outfit.


My take is you don't need to look for shortcuts or justifications to explain being around people, trying to turn a basic need into some lofty self actualized ideal.

Wanting to go out and bang a guy/girl simply because they're pretty is in no way different than wanting to go onto the internet and shop for "the one."

It only does you harm when you are really seeking one but end up pursuing the other because you'll end up rarely getting either, and when you have something you'll never know what it is.

You shouldn't have to idealize what you want in order to give yourself permission to pursue it.
And if/when you idealize what you're looking for?
Like it's "good" that you're looking for someone to "complement/compliment" you?
The more you're going to start judging people that don't agree and don't/can't give you want you want, and getting frustrated.

The more you start judging people and getting frustrated, the more you start just objectively measuring them as to whether or not they can "complement/compliment" you, the more you distance yourself from the necessary subjective interaction that would get you what you want.

No matter what there are no guarantees you will get anything.

So that's great if you want to tell yourself you are looking for someone to "complement/compliment" your "whole person," but that really doesn't mean anything, offer any brownie points, or help you in the pursuit of any kind of relationship in any way.

At best it gives you something to start a conversation with someone.

You will never know the type of relationship you have until you have it.
You can't preplan it (I want a relationship that comes from a compliment/complement person) simply because you can't totally control it.
You will never know everything about yourself.
You will never know everything about the other person, most especially in the beginning.
Therefore you will never be able to control all aspects of developing a relationship.

And the more you think you know about yourself?
The more likely it is you're using that knowledge to hide something that you don't want to face.

...That's my take.

My take on this is each of us are capable of being single but the majority like to be with another person but love is not to be messed with or taken for granted love is priceless espeacaly if you are in love and the person you are in love with is also in love with you.
If you are not in love and treat your partner right it is best to be single or find another partner x

I think loneliness is part of the human condition . You can feel lonely at times even in the most supporting and loving relationship.

I think loneliness often comes from a feeling of disconnection from ourselves or with our lives, which I suspect everybody goes through at different times in their journey whether single or in a relationship.

I think what you might actually be trying to get at, UrMissingLib, is that you choose NOT to try to get temporary entertainment "relationships" going, while you continue to search for a functional long term mate.

Being single for a while (what you call singlehood) isn't so much an enjoyable way of life, as it is the natural and logical condition which results from making this choice.

So I certainly don't go the way I see some people do, and start pretending that I actually LIKE being alone, or that "singlehood" is something desirable for it's own sake. That's kind of like pretending to actually LIKE having your arm in a sling, while you're waiting for a broken bone to heal.

Thanks. It is ok to speak your mind, though. Your views matter, brother.