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| Topic: Long Distance Relationships...LDRs...For Dummies.... | |
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Yes true but when u do meet it's kinda hard to let go...at least for me lol ohhh yeahhh...leaving to go back home is gut wrenching... But is serves to make sure your plan is rock solid... Make that end date for sooner...or even sooner...hehe |
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Hi
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Hi
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I think too many people romanticize that part of the LDR journey instead of researching it as a couple and assessing the practicality of those realities in the long run. Yes...even in the early stages of infatuation you have to keep a level head, or you are doomed to failure once the logistics are realised... I also don't see things working out if both parties are highly career driven during the long distance courtship period. I don't think you can mentally or emotionally half-azz an LDR. It requires a lot of focus because of all the added built in challenges, and a person with a high career drive is more likely to be giving their focus to mastering their career. Another valid point... Part of the challenge is the fact either of you are going to have to get a job at the others country...here in Oz we have many highly skilled immigrants working menial jobs because their qualifications don't meet our high standards... If your in the same country not so important... I also think that some people because of having been cheated on in the past or maybe even because of their own insecurities, are more prone to a suspicious/paranoid personality than others. Yep....it is imperative to have a sound mind and no baggage.... Trust is a key factor in an LDR...possibly one the most common reasons for failure... The last thing that I consider important whether it be a SDR or a LDR is the couple's ability to meet each others immediate family if possible and view the interaction style of that person in their home turf with their family. I think there are some crucial insights you gain into the person's character , lifestyle and personality that you cant learn from any context other than their family setting. Agree...take off the rose coloured glasses and see the real person... The families must also be supportive of both of you... One of you will leaving family behind...their support is vital... As for rest of your points...yes, yes, yes and yes...I strongly agree with all these... Slow and steady builds a solid foundation...that will help keep your relationship strong in the long term... |
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So what is take on after a couple of months in a LDR and very often i text and i call, but i get no replies and no answer nor call back until hours and sometimes the next day?
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Edited by
mikey5360
on
Sat 05/21/16 03:35 AM
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So what is take on after a couple of months in a LDR and very often i text and i call, but i get no replies and no answer nor call back until hours and sometimes the next day? It all depends on the circumstances... Are they in a different time zones?.... Do they keep crazy work hours?.... Sometimes there are valid reasons.... If your in the same time zones...I feel this would not be good enough... Communication is key...If it were me...I would be waiting and expecting my partner to be contacting me...so I would be checking for messages... And returning them in a timely manner....Messaging should be like chatting...bouncing back and ford...like a conversation.... |
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Same time zone. No crazy schedule. He said he just doesn't feel like replying nor answering. Well i tried but i always thought communication was important, since that's all we had. But he didn't think the same.
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here's the problem with this distance thing...it postpones the inevitable
so you spend weeks..months maybe getting to know each other by email text and phone calls ya good morning and good night each other maybe send a few pics back and forth you know each other only by those pics and the sound of your voice and by what you have chosen to share be it based on fact or fiction and you are getting along great your hopes are up and you are getting giddy like a school girl then ya meet...finally after weeks and weeks of anticipation one look and ya think..." yuck" |
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here's the problem with this distance thing...it postpones the inevitable so you spend weeks..months maybe getting to know each other by email text and phone calls ya good morning and good night each other maybe send a few pics back and forth you know each other only by those pics and the sound of your voice and by what you have chosen to share be it based on fact or fiction and you are getting along great your hopes are up and you are getting giddy like a school girl then ya meet...finally after weeks and weeks of anticipation one look and ya think..." yuck" Thats why I personally think regular video chat is necessary TMom. You get so much more from facial expressions, body language, etc that a voice and a picture by themselves can not convey. Last year, I was able to confirm in 3 months with a guy I skyped with regularly that there was no chemistry there between us. Im not sure why so many people in the online dating world do not make REGULAR videochat MANDATORY before meeting in person. Another side benefit of video chat in my opinion is that it minimizes the scammers . Scammers tend to hide behind sending a lot of fake pics of themselves, and they ask you for more and more pictures of you to use for their identity theft schemes.. But they tend to get very antsy and full of excuses when you suggest a video chat. |
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Edited by
TMommy
on
Sat 05/21/16 05:50 AM
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ya I used to try that whole skype thing...too many asking me to ..uh
do stuff ..for em online " stand up baby and show me dat azz" |
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ya I used to try that whole skype thing...too many asking me to ..uh do stuff ..for em online " stand up baby and show me dat azz" I blocked many guys because of that, but that just helped me to filter out the jerks as early as possible before the meet and greet 
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Same time zone. No crazy schedule. He said he just doesn't feel like replying nor answering. Well i tried but i always thought communication was important, since that's all we had. But he didn't think the same. "he just doesn't feel like replying nor answering" This speaks volumes doesn't it!!! Time to say goodbye... |
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here's the problem with this distance thing...it postpones the inevitable so you spend weeks..months maybe getting to know each other by email text and phone calls ya good morning and good night each other maybe send a few pics back and forth you know each other only by those pics and the sound of your voice and by what you have chosen to share be it based on fact or fiction and you are getting along great your hopes are up and you are getting giddy like a school girl then ya meet...finally after weeks and weeks of anticipation one look and ya think..." yuck" This is precisely why it is so important to make that first visit ASAP.... Within the first few weeks...before emotions get too far out of control.... if I couldn't make that first visit in this time frame I wouldn't pursue the relationship...just too many unknowns... |
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ya I used to try that whole skype thing...too many asking me to ..uh do stuff ..for em online " stand up baby and show me dat azz" I blocked many guys because of that, but that just helped me to filter out the jerks as early as possible before the meet and greet Skype is essential....sure you get the creeps...but when you have found a potential partner it is an invaluable tool for communication... |
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Yes he is history as of today. Thanks a lot.
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I have known two ppl who are chatting each other for ages ! Still they did not meet ... Their age gap is like 21 years but still doing good online .... But as that other person is my friend n that man lives overseas ... They still after five years did not meet ... My friend wanted to go to Canada or Japan to meet but he was reluctant ! I tell her sometimes to leave him n start with someone new ! I guess she truly loves him but he I can't say anything abt it ..
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Well very few women now days want a LDR . We have been programmed as a fast food instant gratification society. So women in my experience want someone they can see everyday or every few days etc. Few people actually have the maturity and patience anymore to develop a good solid lasting relationship. Also insecurities cause a lot of people to want someone local so because they have trust issues and if they can't hang out alot daily the other person assumes they are cheating or whatever. LDRs can work if you look at a relationship as a long term investment in the long run so you may have to deal with some distance at first but if two people want to be together bad enough they will be patient and mature enough to realize Rome wasn't built in a day so to speak. Relationships take effort regardless and you just have to meet the right person that realizes a little patience pays off in the long run if you end up together you will have plenty of time together later on.
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Long distance means phone sex yippee
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correct!
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hii
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