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| Topic: I'm just wondering if.... | |
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I haven't met anyone online in years. I have much better luck offline. I'm very sociable and not very shy. I'm not really in search of romance right now, and I find that's when I have more success at meeting someone.
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I think as we get older we become more choosy.. maybe not wanting what we had before. This tends to blur the big picture some what and we focus on a few points rather than looking at the overall package of a person and what they can offer.
I'm guilty of doing that as well. Men are visual creatures and I find a womans looks are the first thing that attract me, after all I feel sure most (including females) prefer a partner they like looking at. I also find when I check out a womans profile that I like the look of she is looking for more than I can offer. |
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For me I find that is difficult to meet people in real life and on line. Both have challenges. That's me, too. At least, it's tremendously difficult if I think about anything first. Anyway, I think what you're asking, is if we think our social skills atrophy if we deal with people online more than offline for a long time. I'd say definitely no. If anything, I suspect they are better in my case, since I get practice chatting here, and that's a necessary face to face skill as well. |
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I'm just wondering if...you find it difficult to meet a person to date in real life after using dating sites for so long. No. I tend to have a personal policy of trying to equalize the two. I must attempt to pick up one woman offline for every 1 woman I attempt to meet online. The more you use dating sites the more you are just training yourself to use dating sites. No different than driving a car for 40 years and then getting on a bicycle (or if you've never really met people offline, then getting on a motorcycle). Whatever you choose to do that is what you are specializing in. The more specialized you are in something, the more difficult it becomes to do something else. How successful you are at changing depends a lot on motivation though. Some people are not going to see any reason to try to meet someone offline, so aren't going to push themselves. Any attempt to try is just going to seem extremely difficult/half assed because they don't really want to do it, and no matter how "successful" they are, the way they want to do it is better. Some people are going to fail at online dating and hate it and will try harder offline to prove to themselves offline is superior and will see some success, even though less than they had online, as "better." do you find it much more exciting meeting people online? I don't find meeting people online exciting. I don't get excited until I'm actually on a date. |
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For me I find that is difficult to meet people in real life and on line. Both have challenges. That's me, too. At least, it's tremendously difficult if I think about anything first. Anyway, I think what you're asking, is if we think our social skills atrophy if we deal with people online more than offline for a long time. I'd say definitely no. If anything, I suspect they are better in my case, since I get practice chatting here, and that's a necessary face to face skill as well. 
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Edited by
happygypsygirl
on
Thu 05/26/16 08:58 AM
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These dating sites are a necessary evil. I've recently relocated all the way across the country. I know no one except my brother and his few friends... But I'm trying really hard to keep an open mind and enjoy the on-line dating "thing". As I'm sure with women too, some of the men are so deceitful and I see no reason for this. Can someone explain that so my skepticism can be lowered or eliminated all together.
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I'm just wondering if...you find it difficult to meet a person to date in real life after using dating sites for so long. No. I tend to have a personal policy of trying to equalize the two. I must attempt to pick up one woman offline for every 1 woman I attempt to meet online. The more you use dating sites the more you are just training yourself to use dating sites. No different than driving a car for 40 years and then getting on a bicycle (or if you've never really met people offline, then getting on a motorcycle). Whatever you choose to do that is what you are specializing in. The more specialized you are in something, the more difficult it becomes to do something else. How successful you are at changing depends a lot on motivation though. Some people are not going to see any reason to try to meet someone offline, so aren't going to push themselves. Any attempt to try is just going to seem extremely difficult/half assed because they don't really want to do it, and no matter how "successful" they are, the way they want to do it is better. Some people are going to fail at online dating and hate it and will try harder offline to prove to themselves offline is superior and will see some success, even though less than they had online, as "better." do you find it much more exciting meeting people online? I don't find meeting people online exciting. I don't get excited until I'm actually on a date. 
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I used chats then moved to dating sites after my separation. I was very shy and had not much experience dating as I was 14 when I met my ex husband. I was with him for 24 years so this was my way of coming out of my shell.
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hmmm,, I've gone through my mental roll-a-dex.. there is this guy I've known for 20 or more years...he has always rather flirted with me,,, the innuendo's,,, a guy I know, who seems to like me.. I happened to be talking to him last week and he says 'I thought you were gonna call me to go out on one of your Saturdays'...'Yes, I will!' I say back.. Golly, I'm gonna! just got to think of an activity..  That's wonderful kitty! Hope you guys have a blast ! 
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you are realistic. I use to fantasize about the men I was about to meet That's Hot!...I'm guessing you've melted a lot of snow up there. 
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I used chats then moved to dating sites after my separation. I was very shy and had not much experience dating as I was 14 when I met my ex husband. I was with him for 24 years so this was my way of coming out of my shell. I can understand what you are saying... I was married for a very long time and lost my husband 6 years ago... 2 years ago I joined my first dating site... It really helped me get my flirt back on.. I'm a very outgoing person so it was easy for me to get it back... However the men I tend to be attracted to are out there looking for younger women so it has been a work in progress... I have come to the conclusion that I may have to start going younger... lol... I guess it is lucky for me that I don't look my age... lol I think it may end up that I just have to make myself get out and start meeting men in person. I think either way Online or in person you have the same kind of chance and they both have the same kind of difficulties that you have to face... but it is nice to see all of the answers that have been given her... |
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Well I've had no luck dating online and real life I think I've only had 5, only one of which was the same person for a second date, so now I just look for people that don't tell me to get lost.
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For me I find that is difficult to meet people in real life and on line. Both have challenges. That's me, too. At least, it's tremendously difficult if I think about anything first. Anyway, I think what you're asking, is if we think our social skills atrophy if we deal with people online more than offline for a long time. I'd say definitely no. If anything, I suspect they are better in my case, since I get practice chatting here, and that's a necessary face to face skill as well. Ah. different life experiences then. Perhaps because I came to this online stuff late, I already had a ton of experiences with the inherent possibility that people will turn out to be less than what we hoped after initial perceptions to the contrary, or the other way around. I have, sometimes unfortunately, that people online are very much the same as they are off. One thing is a bit different, due to venues. Most of the time when I meet people in the flesh, we aren't in a situation where we can get into the same kinds of discussions that we can get into when we are typing back and forth. Maybe I've just been through enough that I work on keeping expectations low. On the other hand, the first blind date sorts of things I experienced back in the pre-computer age (1970's) prepared me. Pretty much every time, when someone set me up on a date, I did indeed experience the feeling of having been set up. |
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I used chats then moved to dating sites after my separation. I was very shy and had not much experience dating as I was 14 when I met my ex husband. I was with him for 24 years so this was my way of coming out of my shell. I can understand what you are saying... I was married for a very long time and lost my husband 6 years ago... 2 years ago I joined my first dating site... It really helped me get my flirt back on.. I'm a very outgoing person so it was easy for me to get it back... However the men I tend to be attracted to are out there looking for younger women so it has been a work in progress... I have come to the conclusion that I may have to start going younger... lol... I guess it is lucky for me that I don't look my age... lol I think it may end up that I just have to make myself get out and start meeting men in person. I think either way Online or in person you have the same kind of chance and they both have the same kind of difficulties that you have to face... but it is nice to see all of the answers that have been given her...  There's nothing wrong with going younger. Maturity is not age related.....ohhh believe me on that one  I just hope one day you will find that great guy . But as we get older..we get picker lol
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Edited by
Candiapples
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Thu 05/26/16 02:50 PM
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Well I've had no luck dating online and real life I think I've only had 5, only one of which was the same person for a second date, so now I just look for people that don't tell me to get lost. 
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you are realistic. I use to fantasize about the men I was about to meet That's Hot!...I'm guessing you've melted a lot of snow up there. |
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