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Topic: Guys, help me out with a dilemma?
aje26's photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:38 PM
Ok guys. If you were dating a girl, and at some point she told you that she felt things were going too fast and wanted to slow down a bit, what would that make you think? Would you think she is losing interest?

And more importantly, how could this girl tell you so that you would still know you are her number one guy?

Thank you. flowerforyou

FAK's photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:42 PM
Be honest and open, with him and yourseld as well. If he is worthwhile he will understand and not run off.

Just my opinion...

HillFolk's photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:43 PM
I would tell it to him just like that or otherwise he could get the idea of that you just want to be friends.

no photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:43 PM
Saying that to a guy automatically tells us that you're not interested and even if you say "you're still number one" it will make us think too much about it.

Not a good thing to say to a guy if you really want him around. You would be better off telling him to move on so he can find someone who wants to give him more of their time.bigsmile

cvaughn34's photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:44 PM
just tell him the truth about how you feel. that's all

no photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:44 PM
pretty much the way you just did it ,how he feels about what you tell him is going to come from how you explain it just be honest and open with him and everything should be fine...hopefully..good luck..

Totage's photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:46 PM
If a woman told me things were moving tto fast, I would respect her feelings and slow down. I would want her to tell me upfront and honestly how she felt. I wouldn't take it as her losing intrest in me, just that she feels things are moving fast, and she is not comfortable with that.

aje26's photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:47 PM
sincereman51...as usual, thanks for the honesty :wink:

I just feel that he maybe calls too much, and he'd come over every night if I'd let him. And BELIEVE me, I really do like him more than I should. I think its really an issue more to do with myself, and the fact that I've had bad luck with things moving too fast in the past (hey i rhymed..anyways...), and because I feel he is one in a million, I don't want to screw it up.

Hunter01's photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:49 PM
By saying to fast,do you mean for sex or marriage???

coulter12's photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:50 PM
I think reception of the message depends on the guy, some would take it just for what you said and respect your feelings on the issue, others mybe to insecure to understand what you mean. Unforunitly it will boil down to how well you know him and where his security level is.

no photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:51 PM
Well you're welcome but the point is, why string him along while you sort out this "problem" with yourself? I know other guys say it's no big deal but well, it is and we do think about these things.

I guess if the guy is just looking for a casual girlfriend it's no big deal but to string him along until you yourself deal with this issue is kind of wrong in my opinion.

But what do I know, I'm not Dr. Phil:tongue:

MicheleNC's photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:55 PM
Oh, AJE, what is making you uncomfortable? Is it something specific or just too much time together?

I know the fear though...the fire burns so bright and hot at first, you think it will fizzle out just as quick.

Be honest with him. If he is a stand up guy, he will get it.

Hugs, M

aje26's photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:57 PM
haha...not Dr. Phil..but close...how harsh was that?! :wink: But I can take it and I guess you're are about 40% right on that one. I don't feel like its a huge issue. Its just a "hey I don't have time to talk on the phone all day..i have a kid" type thing. :tongue:

And furthermore...ah to hell with it. lol

Its a fairly new thing for anyone who doesn't know. We haven't been dating for that long. Just about 3 weeks.

no photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:57 PM
Actually let me make another suggestion. If you like him so much, just let go and let what happens happen. Relationships are always a gamble between pain and happiness. Maybe this time it won't be the painful kind.

You said yourself you REALLY like this guy so why not just let go of the negative mind set?

aje26's photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:59 PM
Michele I think you hit the nail on the head! I'm asking the girls from now on...haha j/k :tongue:

no photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:59 PM
40% right? UGH them are fighting words ma'am!:tongue: :tongue:

PURFUNK's photo
Wed 11/07/07 04:59 PM
JUST TELL HIM TO COOL HIS HEELS AND THAT NOTHING HAS CHANGED IN THE WAY YOU FEEL ABOUT HIM AND THAT IF YOU GO TO FAST YOU DONT WANT IT TO DESTROY WHAT YOU HAVE AND IF YOU MAKE SURE YOU DO IT IN A WAY HE KNOWS NOTHING HAS CHANGED YOU SHOULD BE FINE

TAKE CARE OK

aje26's photo
Wed 11/07/07 05:00 PM
lol sincere...you're losing your touch! :tongue: flowerforyou

no photo
Wed 11/07/07 05:01 PM
Well fine! I'll take my psychology books and go home!:tongue:

aje26's photo
Wed 11/07/07 05:04 PM
sincere...I think we are spending too much time together in this thread, and maybe we should slow things down a bit. Its not you, its me.








:tongue:

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