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| Topic: Re-entering dating world at 50 -anyone find it hard ?? | |
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I would enjoy chatting with you!? Plz?
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I agree I have been alone now over 3 years!
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Yes, I find it really difficult. I was divorced 5 years ago and am just now where I am willing to see if I can find someone. I'll be 60 next year and right now I'm just looking for someone to do things with. I'm afraid of another bad relationship so I just want to go slow and see if I can just enjoy some time with someone close to my age. Thing is I will never find a good relationship if I don't start somewhere. Figured it was worth a chance to try and maybe at least meet someone to spend time with.
Just getting signed in to this site and trying to understand how it works is a bit difficult. I am not a picture person and do not use any social media. So I'm still not sure what the Friend and Favorite thing is about. |
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I am 53, and no couch potato!!! You are super handsome, bud!!
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Yes, I find it really difficult. I was divorced 5 years ago and am just now where I am willing to see if I can find someone. I'll be 60 next year and right now I'm just looking for someone to do things with. I'm afraid of another bad relationship so I just want to go slow and see if I can just enjoy some time with someone close to my age. Thing is I will never find a good relationship if I don't start somewhere. Figured it was worth a chance to try and maybe at least meet someone to spend time with. Just getting signed in to this site and trying to understand how it works is a bit difficult. I am not a picture person and do not use any social media. So I'm still not sure what the Friend and Favorite thing is about. Well first of all Welcome to Mingle. I think you have the right attitude on going slow and letting things happen naturally. Favourites I guess that you click that when you have read someone's profile and like it. Etc.. Easy way to find them again. Friends... well some people collect them like baseball cards, most ppl out here in the forums use it for people that they have come to chat with and have made internet friends with. If you are chatting with someone and like them or if you become a forum user you can send a friends request with a short message letting them know why.. Either way again welcome and hope you come on out and play Best wishes in your search |
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In the mood for a rant this morning!!!!
It's very hard to re-enter the world of dating over 50. The rules of engagement have changed so much. Online dating is really weird and you think you are getting an idea what someone is like but of course you're just getting whatever impression they want to give you. I tried to be real in my profile and photos. I made it clear I am not looking for intimate encounters and wanted to start slow with friendship and just get to know eachother. But I've chatted with quite a few now and discarding the scammers I've come to the conclusion that sex is all men think about. I chatted for 3 hours last night to a guy an hour away from me so there could have eventually been a relationship on the cards if things had gone well. The first 2 hours were normal getting to know you jokey banter about work and life in general. I then said it was probably time to get to bed and tried to wind it up but then the conversation just totally changed to sex. I don't know what is considered normal really and maybe I'm old fashioned but I actually am quite a frank person and not afraid of discussing it if I think it's appropriate. For instance if someone is into bondage I don't object to them telling me early on cos that would put a stop to things right there and we aren't wasting eachother's time. But I'm not a fool. I know what's going on at the other end and I don't like feeling used for a cheap thrill. Ended on a bad note cos he sent me a photograph of his pride and joy!!! It's very disappointing when everything seems to be about sex. Even out in the real world couples seem to start their relationships from a sexual encounter and skip the dating rituals. I happen to think that sex is incredibly intimate and draws you close very quickly which can confuse feelings and lead to relationships moving too fast that aren't going to work. To share that side of yourself without any real connection as real people is in my opinion a big risk and could and probably will lead to getting hurt. So that's my rant for the morning and why I've stripped my profile to cool it for a while. But strangely enough I'm still getting messages without any info or photos. Now that IS weird 
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I happen to think that sex is incredibly intimate and draws you close very quickly which can confuse feelings and lead to relationships moving too fast that aren't going to work. To share that side of yourself without any real connection as real people is in my opinion a big risk and could and probably will lead to getting hurt. Yup. All I want to do now is just go somewhere with someone else and do stuff. Not even sure at this point if I even want to get close enough to someone to get hurt again. |
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Well first of all Welcome to Mingle. I think you have the right attitude on going slow and letting things happen naturally. Favourites I guess that you click that when you have read someone's profile and like it. Etc.. Easy way to find them again. Friends... well some people collect them like baseball cards, most ppl out here in the forums use it for people that they have come to chat with and have made internet friends with. If you are chatting with someone and like them or if you become a forum user you can send a friends request with a short message letting them know why.. Either way again welcome and hope you come on out and play Best wishes in your search Thank you for the good words and information. So far I have had a bunch of twenty something young women who have tried to match with me that are a long distance from me. A few even out of country. A few have been removed. I figure that these are scammers. I just started posting on this board and have had a couple of friend request. One from out of country that I do not recognize as being on this board and before I started posting. Another recent one that was removed from the site. Can the Friend or favorite function be used by scammers to go around my filters? Just trying to understand what the appropriate action would be and when and when not to accept. Thanks. |
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Well first of all Welcome to Mingle. I think you have the right attitude on going slow and letting things happen naturally. Favourites I guess that you click that when you have read someone's profile and like it. Etc.. Easy way to find them again. Friends... well some people collect them like baseball cards, most ppl out here in the forums use it for people that they have come to chat with and have made internet friends with. If you are chatting with someone and like them or if you become a forum user you can send a friends request with a short message letting them know why.. Either way again welcome and hope you come on out and play Best wishes in your search Thank you for the good words and information. So far I have had a bunch of twenty something young women who have tried to match with me that are a long distance from me. A few even out of country. A few have been removed. I figure that these are scammers. I just started posting on this board and have had a couple of friend request. One from out of country that I do not recognize as being on this board and before I started posting. Another recent one that was removed from the site. Can the Friend or favorite function be used by scammers to go around my filters? Just trying to understand what the appropriate action would be and when and when not to accept. Thanks. Friends and once you both have exchanged emails bypass filters.. You can always block someone you don't want to have contact with. Doesn't stop them from looking at your profile. They can't contact you. There are "many" good people out here... Takes time just like in real life we have to trust but verify and be cautious... Favourites nope.. |
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I didn't reenter the dating scene.
It reentered me. Does that make sense? I didn't think so.
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I love women,but women my age don't want sex.men my age do.I only get gratification with a woman but men don't have a agenda except to get off.And will come back again and again.But ladies you knew from a early age that the way to a mans heart is through letting us kiss your *****!And mark our territory.
Don't need a relationship but sharing a laugh and checking up on each other and being handy really become important at my age.So if you want someone to be respectful and caring you have to put out. Dont want to meet you exes,kids,grand kids,mom,dad,lets be adults about this . Men my age even though i only am attracted to women sometimes touching and being touched can get you through another week. |
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I haven't dated much at all,but today I spent the afternoon with a woman who is half my age,and we actually got along pretty well.It helps a lot to just know that I must have something that is attractive,and not a complete Neanderthal like I feel like I am sometimes..When I got home I found she had sent me her personal phone# and E-mail..
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Congratulations on a good and articulate rant Madcatlady01
In the mood for a rant this morning!!!! It's very hard to re-enter the world of dating over 50. The rules of engagement have changed so much. Online dating is really weird and you think you are getting an idea what someone is like but of course you're just getting whatever impression they want to give you. I tried to be real in my profile and photos. I made it clear I am not looking for intimate encounters and wanted to start slow with friendship and just get to know eachother. But I've chatted with quite a few now and discarding the scammers I've come to the conclusion that sex is all men think about. I chatted for 3 hours last night to a guy an hour away from me so there could have eventually been a relationship on the cards if things had gone well. The first 2 hours were normal getting to know you jokey banter about work and life in general. I then said it was probably time to get to bed and tried to wind it up but then the conversation just totally changed to sex. I don't know what is considered normal really and maybe I'm old fashioned but I actually am quite a frank person and not afraid of discussing it if I think it's appropriate. For instance if someone is into bondage I don't object to them telling me early on cos that would put a stop to things right there and we aren't wasting eachother's time. But I'm not a fool. I know what's going on at the other end and I don't like feeling used for a cheap thrill. Ended on a bad note cos he sent me a photograph of his pride and joy!!! It's very disappointing when everything seems to be about sex. Even out in the real world couples seem to start their relationships from a sexual encounter and skip the dating rituals. I happen to think that sex is incredibly intimate and draws you close very quickly which can confuse feelings and lead to relationships moving too fast that aren't going to work. To share that side of yourself without any real connection as real people is in my opinion a big risk and could and probably will lead to getting hurt. So that's my rant for the morning and why I've stripped my profile to cool it for a while. But strangely enough I'm still getting messages without any info or photos. Now that IS weird Men just want sex Women just want someone to make them laugh Two stereotypes that can get in the way of true intimacy Doesn't matter if its you or them that are buying into the stereotypes The truth is we want them both and more besides. But focusing only on one aspect blinds us and can block us to broader possibilities. I am not implying you have a narrow view, its just your rant has inspired my rant |
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Men just want sex Women just want someone to make them laugh Two stereotypes that can get in the way of true intimacy Doesn't matter if its you or them that are buying into the stereotypes The truth is we want them both and more besides. But focusing only on one aspect blinds us and can block us to broader possibilities. I am not implying you have a narrow view, its just your rant has inspired my rant I agree. I suppose that's the nature of a rant - it's an emotional response that in the heat of the moment can be OTT. I don't really believe all men want is sex and whilst I really would love a man who makes me laugh till my ribs ache I'm just as interested in sex as he is. Maybe if I'm honest I felt ashamed of my own carnal feelings when he started turning the chat around that way. But I still feel it is disrespectful to send photos like that unless requested which I am assured many women do - hell will freeze over before I ask a man to do that - and it turned the chat from flirty to real dirty I probably have a narrow view. I was in a strict religion for 20 years where I had it drummed into me sex outside wedlock was sinful, various rules of courtship that implied being alone with anyone of the opposite sex would lead to fornication, even rules about what was acceptable sexually between married couples. So I suppose I get on my moral high horse occasionally as a knee-jerk response rather than real conviction. I don't want to be trapped in those restrictive beliefs. I walked away from it a long time ago and these days have my own less limiting beliefs and views. Here's to finding a funny guy who's great in bed but crap at photography 
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I haven't dated much at all,but today I spent the afternoon with a woman who is half my age,and we actually got along pretty well.It helps a lot to just know that I must have something that is attractive,and not a complete Neanderthal like I feel like I am sometimes..When I got home I found she had sent me her personal phone# and E-mail.. Just checked what was half your age... 30 something. Good for you, Dave! Cheers 
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I know what you mean sweetheart,,hard isnt it,, tommy xx
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I probably have a narrow view. I was in a strict religion for 20 years where I had it drummed into me sex outside wedlock was sinful, various rules of courtship that implied being alone with anyone of the opposite sex would lead to fornication, even rules about what was acceptable sexually between married couples. So I suppose I get on my moral high horse occasionally as a knee-jerk response rather than real conviction. I don't want to be trapped in those restrictive beliefs. I walked away from it a long time ago and these days have my own less limiting beliefs and views. Here's to finding a funny guy who's great in bed but crap at photography When we realise the revealed moral code we have internalised from our religious upbringing is not as certain and helpful as we had previously believed. We need to investigate and create a new moral code for ourselves One of the tools for doing this is taking consequence into account Us humans are not very good at predicting consequence Fortunately you seem to have made a helpful and accurate prediction of consequence here. I happen to think that sex is incredibly intimate and draws you close very quickly which can confuse feelings and lead to relationships moving too fast that aren't going to work. To share that side of yourself without any real connection as real people is in my opinion a big risk and could and probably will lead to getting hurt. Sometimes a narrow view is helpful Sometimes a broad view is helpful I think we function best when we alternate our view and remember and incorporate the other views as best we can. Sometimes we need to put Vaseline on the view finder other times we need to accept and appreciate what the close up reveals |
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hi my name is micheal can i have an attention here
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hi my name is micheal can i have an attention here If you have anything to say about the topic, just go ahead and say it. Or, you can start your own thread. Welcome to Mingle2 |
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It is especially hard when you spend a lot of time on a dating site,and can't even get a phone call or a credible conversation.
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