For people who are looking for a soulmate relationship, it is very important to actually know what you want and what you don't want. What are your unique "MUST HAVES" and "CAN'T STANDS?" These are mine...

MY UNIQUE MUST HAVES:

1) You "get" and like what I've said on my dating profile, which means you are able to write me a thoughtful message that does justice to what I have shared;

2) you have something authentic to say on your profile that gives me some idea of who you really are;

3) you have a sincere/genuine/gentle/unassuming vibe;

4) you actually want a soulmate (not a date)/ you are a "serious relationship only" person.

MY UNIQUE "CAN'T STANDS"

1) Shallowness: sexual innuendos on profiles/ promiscuity;

2) shallowness (e.g. short messages, cut and paste messages);

3) shallowness: obsession with your potential partner's physical appearance;

4) shallowness: obsession with the woman having to be younger than you/ no older.

i read your profile....thats a lot of issues, what about a time when couples

went out together to enjoy themselves and get to know each while they were at

it....and besides thats a lot to put on someones plate all at once....i met

someone one time that had a issue with people lying to to them.there were liars

around every corner and under every rock...once the person found out that not

all people will lie to him all of a sudden all the liars were gone.....WE

ATTRACT WHAT WE BELIEVE....ALWAYS WISH FOR WHAT YOU ''DO WANT''..NOT WHAT YOU DO

NOT WANT....WHEN YOUR MIND IS FOCUSED ON WHAT YOU ''DO NOT'' WANT YOU JUST GET

MORE OF WHAT ''DO NOT'' WANT....ALL SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE KNOW THAT........

.......................

I think for me it's pretty simple.

(1) I can't stand shallowness in any form. Which, with all honesty, makes it hard for me on most dating sites. Shallowness abounds on all dating sites. Most look at the outer before they look at the inner.

(2) I can't stand trying to pull info out of someone. You can write whatever you want in your profile. But with all honesty, your profile is only who you "think" you are. Who you really are, comes out later. Some of it comes out in conversation.

(3) The conversationally challenged. A lot of people come to dating sites hoping to meet someone special. The thing is, a lot of people seem to have lost the art of conversation. Trying to talk to someone like this is a chore. It's like pulling teeth with nothing to dull the pain. I can't stand it. It stops me dead in my tracks.

(4) Crazy women. I sure there are crazy men on dating sites too. But as for me, I got over wanting a crazy woman years ago in my 20's.

(5) Women who do not read profiles.

(6) Women who seem to think that filling out a profile is optional.

(7) Women who don't seem to know what "soulmate" really is. (Not saying all are this way.)


The things I must have,

(1) See #1 #2 and #3 & #4 & #5 & #6 #7 above and think the opposite of these.

Great list; thanks for sharing... these are my comments:

1) Regarding shallowness, I feel that at least 99% of people are too shallow for me... it could be a high as 99.9%

2) Info on the person... you know, the initial profile (and message) is extremely important to me. That said, the next stage is communicating via email/the website and ascertaining how the person feels about some key values. Then I move on to the phone only if it looks like the person is a potentially good match based on what they have said so far in writing. I definitely agree that one can't take anything for granted and that you only get to know a person better after maybe meeting up a few times and talking at length on the phone.

3) Conversationally challenged... that's never been a problem for me because if he can't express himself well in writing I don't end up speaking to him.

4) There are lots of crazy men on dating sites; believe me! I don't interact with them because of the all the obvious red flags.

5) and 6) Do not read profiles/ do not fill out profiles... that is so annoying! But again, I never respond back to people who obviously haven't read my profile, so I never interact with those types.

7) Honestly, I don't think the general population knows what soulmate in a spiritual sense is... people into spiritual teachings and spiritual growth are the types who know what soulmate actually means. But even with them, I don't know the percentage who actually want a soulmate.

Let's just agree to disagree.

simply

must have good hygiene, decent health, and compassion for others, Godfearing

cant stand filth or odors, overinflated ego, or rudeness posing behind 'honesty', especially obama or clinton haters, or christian bashers

Yes hygiene is good place to start. In the words of Redd Foxx "Whatever you do in life make sure you wash your feet and your azz"......

O.K.

hi sexiest

Yanno, I have thought about this.
I guess the things I need from my partner is very basic.

Things I won't budge on are

Ethics
Honesty
good work habits
open and giving heart.


I want to see how he treats others... Does he spend so much time trying to impress me I don't get to see who he is then I am bored and I am out of there.

I wanted someone confident enough to be just who they are...
Good hygiene is nice...



The biggest turn off I have is huge long lists of what I want and don't want. The same for him...

chances are I will be on both of them.

Nice list - thanks for sharing.



Fortunately, I've never had to deal with 1) or 2). With regard to 3) I haven't had anyone be short tempered at the dating/early stage, but it surfaced later on.... 4) something like that might have happened during a quarrel but not normally.



1) If they don't post a picture where they look "human"/kind/unassuming to me, I would trust my intuition and not respond.
2) Yes, lack of eye contact with me would be a red flag.
3) Affectionate is a prerequisite for me as well.
4) Very much relate to the phone call/keeping in touch during the day... as you said, just knowing that he's thinking of you is important; I need that!