I concur with this:

so, for instance, I can' hang out sometimes with someone who is cocky and arrogant,, but I couldn't LIVE with that type of person.

people who know me dont get that I a picky in the romance department because I typically 'get along' with so many types of people

what they don't seem to get is the different standard between enjoying peoples company SOMETIMES and having someones whole life joined with yours

LIVING with them means waking up every morning and going to sleep every night looking at their face

it means having their daily ups and downs be your daily ups and downs

it means being much more regularly and directly impacted by their values, moods, and emotions than just hanging out does


so, for instance, I can hang out sometimes with someone who is cocky and arrogant,, but I couldn't LIVE with that type of person


what type can you hang out with , but could never live with?

To be honest, I couldn't live with anyone who isn't rather multi-faceted.

I couldn't live with anyone who's mostly only serious, or only fun, or always whinging, or always spiritual, or withdrawn, or not so intelligent, or religious, or overly flirty, or...

I couldn't live with someone who's like a clone either. There's gotta be some contrast.

This is your social facade.
The difference between who you are, who you think you are, who you want people to think you are, and how people communicate who they think you are.

What most people don't seem to get is that their social facade is not really their true personality.


All you're referring to is how successful your social facade is.
Little different than saying "I can act like an interviewer as an HR rep sometimes, but I couldn't act like that all the time."

Oh, my. I also can get along with all manner of people, the result of a lifetime in occupations where customer satisfaction and communication is fundamental.

My ex-wife used to complain (among many other things) that I dealt with customers far better than I dealt with her, and that was true. But of course, had I treated her like a customer, it would have meant disconnecting my self; my "soul," if you will, from all of my behaviors, and I would have just been "performing" friendliness with her.

That is the difference between how I think most of us who manage to get along with lots of people, do so, and how we relate to mates.

I suppose that means, that at least one of the things I could not abide in a mate, is what we could call "professional mateness."

There's all sorts of other things that I can manage fine with a friend, but never with a mate. I suppose what I am most averse to, due to my particular experiences, is someone who's idea of a perfect mate, is someone who immediately changes anything and everything about themselves, in accordance with their whims of the moment. That particular element of MANY people's "dream mate," is all but radioactive, to mine.

I am always myself, and all of my personality is my 'true' personality

I can enjoy certain people in bouts, and its not a facade or performance, its about my 'limit'

just like I can enjoy a candy bar once in a while but not at every meal,, nothing fake about it,, just a matter of 'how much' is enjoyable to me

I am going to be lazy and say Crystalfairy pretty much summed it up for me. + integrity.