If you want an answer to that you have to dig a bit deeper into the "how & why" of the matter.

In general women tend to have abandonment fear and men fear of commitment.
This is not per say based on personal experience, but goes all the way back to the point where we were split into a masculine & feminine half.
Men felt a sense of freedom, eager to roam the world, women felt a sense of loss.
In that sense you can call it the gender's collective wound.

Then there is the collective wound based on history, caused by thousands of years of patriarchal society.
Men were forced out of their hearts, had to be tough, manly, macho and whatnot.
Women were forced out of their sense of self as they had no say, no control over their lives, were married off as if they were cattle, raped, abused and so on. We weren't allowed to have an opinion nor to develop ourselves.

This created co-dependence in many women in general which easily becomes fear of abandonment. A woman alone wasn't safe and wasn't entitled to anything.
We were nothing so we have been shaped by society to be co-dependent and reared with the need for a man in order to be kind of safe.

Men on the other hand lost touch with their feelings more and more as they had to achieve, perform, undertake, make decisions, carry the weight, had to make the world go round and so on.
Men could remain single, or get married and (still) play the field.
But... a certain group of men (richer men often) were forced to marry and produce offspring to keep the family line going. So they were forced to give up their freedom and freedom of choice. These men had little to no choice of whom they'd marry, just as their women had no choice.
Think of the impact of all that!


All this went on for thousands of years.
So when you approach a bloke with the marriage thing he can A) get an overwhelming sense/fear of "I'm going to lose my freedom!" and run for the hills. B) be confronted with too many feelings -either from himself or the woman- that he isn't used to and run for the hills.

What you should do is go for a much softer approach.
First get clear why you want to get married so that you can convey this to a man. But NOT in a way that he feels trapped. Don't make it a demand. No one likes demands and feeling trapped, regardless of gender. Make it more of an open message as to why it matters so much to you. Then he knows what you need and what he can do to make you happy.
On the other hand side, look for love as opposed to a piece of paper. Oftentimes men who say they'll never marry again come to love their new woman so much that they propose without being encouraged.

What that does is A) leave him the option, doesn't corner him. Gives him the time to process it and to step up to the plate to give his girl what she needs.
And B) gives him time and the freedom to choose. Men do better when they think it's their own idea, hihi. That is of course related to them having freedom of choice and not feeling as if they're losing their freedom.

Thank you, Atheera, and happy to hear that it moves and inspires you!

Like Kristie I'm also way more careful now to give up my home, a rental, but still my home.
It is incredibly hard these days to get another rental, waiting for years has become quite normal, and I do not want to end up in a situation where I'm suffering because the relationship went awry.
Been there, done that.
That time it was his house so he could have thrown me out whenever he had wanted to. Then I'd have been in the street with my two kids.
NEVER again!

Thing is, men seem to always assume that the woman will move house for love. Few state they're willing to do so.

It'd get easier if he lives in an apartment, and many do. No freaking way will I move into an apartment, yuk.

And if I were to move in with a man again, I want mutual protection in case one makes their transition.
Otherwise you can still end up in the streets when the other passes away and his kids want their inheritance.

I used to always think of moving in with a man, probably as they seem to think and project that's normal.
Nowadays I'm thinking of him moving in with me.
I've got a house in a rural area, big garden, driveway etc.

I guess become more confident and clear on what I want and what not is a factor.

Hi Atheera!
You can literally attract everything and anything, once on the right vibration :)
Not just the big things in life like love, health, wealth, success etc. but also smaller things that make life easier.

For instance a parking space in a busy area.
I did that every week when I had to pick up things that were heavy for me.
I even got the exact parking space I wanted, right in front of the door. This was in a very busy tourist town where it was and is very hard to find parking space.

I've manifested an empty row of seats all to myself on both the flight to and fro the US.
Succeeded both times even though on the way back the plane was packed!!
It was great as I could put the armrests up and lay down to try and sleep :)

Of late I was focusing on attracting & manifesting money as my car needed to be MOT-ed and I was very nervous about the cost.
Et voila, out of the blue I got a couple hundred Euros in from a source I had never expected!!
I couldn't believe it, and yet I could as I know LoA works.


Then I focused on my car MOT cost being under E100 as opposed to worrying that it'd be very expensive.
I succeeded!
I was thrilled!!

To be able to do such thing you need at least a certain amount of self-love.
You have to be able to get into your Heart space. If your heart is closed because you got hurt or you're afraid of XYZ, it isn't going to work.
You don't have to have 100% open heart and/or self-love, but some 70-80% to have this work.
The good thing is, when you begin attracting what you want it fills you up with so much joy that your % goes higher.
So the more you do it the better you'll feel.
And then you'll do it because it feels so good, not to get the money in the bank, the lover in bed etc.
You just manifest because you can and it feel wonderful.

It's working with the Law of Attraction, Motown.
You can only attract what resonates with your energy and thoughts. Most of that comes from the subconscious.

If you don't truly feel you deserve love/success/money/whatever you will exude this with your energy and your thoughts will also reflect this.

If you truly really want love but fear committing as you feel you'd lose your freedom, your thoughts & energy will exude that and you won't attract love. You may attract dates, partners even, but it won't work out.

And at the core of attracting anything in life lays loving yourself.
When you do you no longer have negative subconscious thoughts, your energy will shift as well.
Then you'll attract what matches that.

You may not believe it, but it truly works. But you have to keep your thoughts, beliefs and self-talk positive, and... you cannot fake it.
Hence the basic requirement of self-love.

Oh and what you said "it's about financial benefits"...

You tend to get that when people are in survival mode because they cannot make ends meet.
It's survival instinct, nothing much people can do about that.
It's what easily happens in a country without a decent social security system: well-fare, unemployment benefit, pension, paid sick leave etc. but also decent holiday time per year, healthcare and so on.
In a country like the US where it takes forever to even get a week holiday per year people must be running on fumes.

That doesn't help, will have and keep people in fight, flight, freeze --> constant stress, fear of lack, fear of losing the (crap) job you have and so on.

People living like that likely won't be relaxed when dating either. Emphasis will shift from looking for that one great partner to what you said: financial and situational security.

That's arguing for your limitations.

These days there are a lot of women who are too much in their masculine energy, mostly due to societal demands. It became a habit to survive and sustain oneself in a man's world.
These women may have a tendency to reject anything that's chivalrous as that doesn't gel with the masculine energy that has become their normal.

In the same sense you also have men that are overly feminine, too much in feminine energy. These can be the "I'm such a good guy but nobody wants me?!!" men. They're too soft, their masculine side not developed enough.

All that is a side-effect of changing society, from imbalanced masculine dominated to equal. We're not there yet so where in a phase of chaos.


That does, however, not mean that women don't want to be wooed. Many women do and actually need that in order to develop feelings for a man and thus to fall in love.
It's the natural order of things, deep down -underneath the temporary societal stuff- these dynamics are still strong-wired in the brains of both sexes.
As in, men need to hunt = pursue and woo, women need to be conquered and wooed.

Depending on how much a man or woman is 'stuck' in the resp. overdose of feminine or masculine energy kinda defines how they tick.

Most important is to figure out for yourself how you work. What feels right and good for you when it comes to finding and pursuing a woman.
Go with that.
When you do you will also attract the women who match that.
When you don't and try to do it a way that isn't really "you", you attract women that aren't really what you want.

Wow, Slim, that all sounds amazing! And how great it must have been to see your family again after so many years.
I hope you'll get your visa so you can go see the Taj Mahal.
I only know it from photos but I think it must be an awesome monument -if you can call it that- to see with your own two eyes!

Oh yes, I remember you talking about this upcoming move.
Glad to hear it went so well and that you're enjoying it so much!
I think it's totally awesome that you do this, so far away from hearth & home. I had expected you to go back to the US to be with Mark and closer to your daughters.

Enjoy your new job and Cambodia! I always get this special feeling when I think of that country. Think Angkor Wat, Ta Prohm etc.
I'm not sure as I haven't been there, but aren't the people different from other Asians? Okay, each country will have their own thing, but somehow I feel Cambodians stand out in some way or other. Can't put my finger on it, maybe you can tell me, hihi.

In any case, great achievement for sure!!

Daniel Craig was 37 in his first James Bond movie and I cannot recall any of the 'Bond girls' in his movies to be in their 20s, nor really depicted as such. More early to mid 30s.
And the last one (the woman) is now 39, so 35ish when making the last movie in which he was 52ish.
Nowhere near a 30 year age gap in reality. In the movie the idea of course is that he is still quite in his prime, so would have to appear younger than the 52 he actually was at the time.
And he pulled it off. I mean, hotdammmm!!!
Goes to show that if a man makes an effort he can maintain healthy looks & body. After his Bond-days Daniel kinda lost it. Still okayish, but no longer devilishly handsome.

Congrats, Julie!
That's a long time!

Thank you, River!
I'm very happy for sure! My granddaughter Emilia is now 1,5 yrs old and absolutely adorable
Next year having a 2nd, what more can you wish for! I never really had any idea what it'd be like to have grandchildren. Now I have 1, and 1 on the way, I can say it's indeed as great as everyone always said it'd be, haha.

And great to hear you're also following your heart as much as you can!

Oh and there's the added embarrassment of people constantly thinking you're the father of the other.
Not just embarrassing for you, also to the much younger partner, and also your & their family.
If you have kids, it'll be horrible for them that daddy has a partner as old as -or younger than- they are.
It creates an awkward situation wherever you go...

In general I think not but it depends in what way.

Some will still be physically fit but mentally stagnated in routines and old-fashioned beliefs that don't match with the younger generation. I come across this an awful lot.

Others will mentally be up to speed with the younger generation but couldn't keep up physically.

Bear in mind 30 years is one helluva age gap to bridge!
It's a generation difference, not just a mere few years.
A good gauge, if you have kids, is to ask yourself this question: can you keep up with them in all aspects?
Or think of yourself 30 yrs younger and all the things you did, could do, then. Can you still do these things?

And for men the big problem can be ED. Most men 40+ can still get it sort of erect, but no longer the way it used to, and should in order to truly satisfy a woman. Semi-erect can't do that.
Some then tend to say "I've finally mastered it!" while in actual fact they've lost their ability to have a proper erection.
Just adding that as this may lead to embarrassment for the man and dissatisfaction for a much younger female partner.

Personally I wouldn't want a partner the age of my children. That feels off.

Personally I rarely really have plans and goals. That's too much from the head for me. I prefer things from the heart :)

I'm back in touch with my daughter after a bumpy period so I get to see my li'l granddaughter again as well. That fills my heart with joy!

And I'm going to be a grandmum a 2nd time in February '25! Got to see the wee one during the last ultrasound my daughter had.

Out of the blue I wanted a black cat. Found her, my Meggie. She's now 5 months old

A lot of energywork & personal & spiritual growth this year. And I started working with Merlin which suits me really well.

I made an AA Christiel statue to go with the energy portal to Lyra that I created in the garden with help of this AA.

Oh and I found out my Human Design type, read a lot about that and damn, is that accurate! Clarified a few things for me :)

And I made a beautiful cathouse! Never thought I would and could do that. And the beaut is... they really use it!

Autumn now fully upon us, the first 2 harvest festivals behind us and the last one to come end of the months.
A good time to take into account what you could and still can harvest this year.
in other words:
What have you done & achieved so far this year?

That can be anything and everything, there is no right and wrong. Could be moving house, a new job, taking up a new hobby to having a year of relaxation and enjoying life.

Did you have any plans, goals or dreams for the year around springtime, or maybe on New Year's Day?
Have they come true?

Can a man (or woman) ever change in this area? Yes.
Much will depend on why he resorted to cheating. Is it because the relationship is lacking and no longer fulfilling?
Then it isn't pretty they cheat, but makes it more understandable and also they'd likely not do it when in a fulfilling relationship.
This could also be the one they're in.
That would require communication. Talking about what is lacking, why it isn't fulfilling the way it is, and expressing what they do need.

There are however also others who cheat because they have some deep underlying issue(s) that cause them to not commit. They may enter a relationship of sorts but still never really commit, not want to, not able to, for whatever reason.
Many people still have unresolved inner child issues.
Such people won't change until they choose to work on themselves. In other words: not unless they themselves begin to feel unhappy with how they're functioning.

Soulmates are people that are closer to you than others. Not on a personal level but a higher level, hence "soul mate".
Soulmates aren't necessarily your romantic partner. You have many soulmates, your parents, children, friends, oftentimes colleagues as well. And sometimes people who enter your life for a few minutes or days only.
They can still be soulmates, the encounter brings you something you need in your life to grow and evolve.

Often you've been together with your Soulmates in previous lives, so when you meet one you may immediately feel comfortable and even like "I know you?!" while you've never seen them before in your life.

So some are closer to you -like a partner and the ones you had-, children, parents, and others that aren't quite that close like a new person that enters your life for a shorter period of time.

There are other types of soul connections like the Twin Soul, Twin Flame, Twin Ray.
Different ballgame.
Especially Twin Soul can be quite chaotic, not necessarily an easy connection. You are closer with them than a Soulmate, so the highs are higher but the lows are also lower. You often mirror each other -through which you grow & learn- but in spite of the higher love it can also be way more confrontational.

You also have more than 1 Twin Soul but they're still not necessarily your partner although I do think it happens a lot that people get involved with one and then have a turbulent relationship.
These love relationships aren't easy, as I explained, and don't always last.

I'll leave it at that since the question was on 'Soulmates", not the rest.

Thank you, Stormy!
I empowered the portal again tonight. I've done that regularly so far and intend to keep doing that :)

We've done this a couple years ago as well. It was surprising to hear how different everyone sounded from what I'd expected, hihi.

Anyhow, I'm joining in :)

http://voca.ro/16gNM8yaBmTr