I am in college and last night one of my very good friends who I dated for two years up until this summer came to spend the weekend with me. We are not really together right now but neither of us have been looking and whenever we have the chance we go out. I have been having a rough couple weeks and seeing her had me really excited.

We start hanging out and drinking alittle and she slips up and tells me she slept with my best friend last weekend. I freak and leave ( she couldn't drve home so I gave her my bed for the night) and went and stayed with a friend. She left this morning and went home and we talked this afternoon until she decided to OD on some pills. Now I am setting her without my best friend since Elementary school and the only other person I really care about in a city I am not yet used to with no one to turn to while she is in the hospital and cannot talk to anyone. I am a laid back guy and let everything roll of my back but this really has me. I am not the kind of person to post like this but I could use some advice or help or just someone's support right now.

Ummm.... your not girlfriend, but good friend, who you have occasional sex with, but have no claims on, had sex with someone else, who happens to be your best male friend?

You didn't like it, and got upset, and abandoned her somewhere....then she got upset and OD'ed on some pills or something, and she is in the hospital?

Call her parents.

Call your parents.

No, if that was the situation I would not be so upset. I am not that kind of guy. We had sex one time over two years. We really cared about each other and I couldn't do a long distance relationship between school and football. I have been there with her through hard times and she has been there for me. She is the last person I would have expected to do this to me. I already called her parents and less than two hours after her father learned that his littler girl in the last week had slept with some random guy, drank beer, and took pills said he had no idea what I was going through and couldn't imagine it. She was a straight church of christ good girl and this is not her at all. I was looking for support not judgement.

Wow that is heavy. However, you should not feel guilty because you cannot control what other people do. What was the purpose of her telling you she slept with your best friend anyway? WAs she dating you at the sametime she did this? You should not let anything get between you and your best friend not even a girl.

I asked questions , how is that judgement?

So you want the boo hoo variety?

Sorry I dont do the handwringing thing.

An 18 year old girl tries to commit suicide, she needs help, professional help, and support.

It's not about YOU.

The best thing you can do, is be sitting with her at the hospital, and not looking for sympathy on your computer.

It is not your fault she took the pills, that was her choice, she was feeling guilty over what she did and it was her choice to take the pills. You can just be her friend and be there when she wants to talk and support her. Try to talk her into getting some counseling to deal with her issues, she has some underlying issues if she takes pills over an argument with you.

You could also check in with the counseling center at your college to see how you could best support your friend, just a thought. Take care.

Lynx...First, her OD is NOT your fault. You gotta know that. She's in the hospital getting the help she needs. Whatever her issues are, I can assure you that this isn't something that came to her because of what happened the night before. She's probably been on the edge for awhile which may explain why she slept with your bestfriend. You seemed to imply that you and she were not togethter so technically they didn't do anything wrong though I know it probably hurt you.

I can't tell you what to do but please don't make any rash decisions. You said you were already having a rough couple of weeks, and now this. You feel alone, hurt, and angry. Take some time to cool off and really think about your feelings for her. Do ya love her? Is that why it bothered you so much about your best friend? If so, commit to her. As for your buddy...that's up to you whether to forgive him or not.

Hope this helps a little. Good luck.

sounds to me like you "broke her heart". evidently she cared enough for your friendship to try to end her life over disappointing you. Best you can do is to sit there and hold her hand until she comes out of the od. If you are truly a friend, be there for her and support her, and be mature and forgiving about the sex with best friend thing. If you not dating her, she free to do as she wants, as are you. "Friends are forever"

Willy you say it so much nicer....

I work with these kids all the time, and have just done 9 days straight, and have another five to go... I may shoot from the hip with no sugar coating... but I mean well.

Just curious, when you talked to her on the phone that afternoon after she went home, did something else happen or come up in that specific conversation? And how did you know she overdosed on some pills? Did she tell you that or did you find out after she ended up in the hospital?

I understand that we were not dating and therefor neither of us are bound to anything. Neither of us went out with anyone. She would still give me hell as if we were still together and I didn't mind. We both still love each other. I just could not do a relationship like that living 6 hours apart. This is not some weekend hook up, this is someone that I have seen or talked to everyday for the last two years. I know it sounds like highschool drama but this has been far more REAL than anyone should ever have to go through.

She told me she did something stupid. I immidately hung the phone up and called her mother.

hey jesse I see your making friends again

Lynx, if she means that much to you, why are you here?

Why aren't you organising the first ride you can get to her?

She could have died, then you would arrange time off work, college..

Just do it, if she really means that much to you.

Instead of sitting here talking to strangers on your computer.

Time to be a MAN.

Are you stalking me Bored?

The one thing I refuse to do, is be all smooth and sympathetic, and politically correct.

This is my field... I work with young people, it is my training my profession... in Australia Youth is aged 12 - 25 years.

I know my sh*t.

Do you think I want to be setting here?
I am paying fourty thousand dollars a year for an education and if I leave before I take ane exam monday night I could fail a course. Not to mention that she is not allowed to talk to anyone outside her family until the doctors say she can. If I went home it would only put me closer to someone I can not be there for when I know, besides all that has happened, needs me right now.

She done her pills, W/O YOUR permission, knowledge, or presents.
Now, WHY did SHE do it? For her own SELFISH THOUGHTS.
Hoping im sure that YOU would FEEL GUILTY for leaving her.
WELL, YOU should FEEL GUILTY for leaving HER, but NOT for HER ACTIONS.
Life happens, and OTHERS ACTIONS, can NEVER be the result of ANOTHER, if THEY DID'NT KNOW!!!
Don't beat your self up over what SHE DID, but LEARN THROUGH HER ACTIONS, the POSSIBILIES of ANOTHER to REACT IN A HARMFUL WAY...

"People always show themselves in the end."

Why did you feel the need to tell her father she had slept with some "Random Stranger" ?
If he is your best friend & she has been a good friend for awhile, that means they have been friends most likely as well.
if she is a "good church of Christ" girl, you probably made her feel like trash by leaving over her telling you & then not even sleeping there like she had cooties now.
Be very careful with that!
We lost my friend's son over him feeling like God would not forgive him for having unwed sex,drinking & smoking pot.

She is still your friend please go & tell her so & hold her hand. even if she is out of it she will hear you, just sit & rattle to her & let her know she is loved.

Don't condem her to anybody because your hurt.

Love,Light & Strength to you both.

pppffttt! what you couldn't be back there in 2 DAYS!

Save it!! Grow up & quit singin MEMEMEMEME!
Then maybe, just maybe you could be a TRUE friend...

I'm done...