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Topic: you're feeling it or you're not
RustyKitty's photo
Mon 03/06/17 05:11 PM
Tom4uhere.. You are not doing her any favours by NOT telling her, that's for sure.. If she likes you and wants to be your friend - great. If she wants more than what you are able to give, cut her loose so she can continue the search..no one should settle..

joselynmorgan's photo
Fri 03/10/17 03:11 PM
hi

no photo
Thu 05/18/17 10:30 PM

I'm currently in this type of situation, kinda.
I'm seeing a woman that is 9 years my senior. 64 years old.

This woman has the most amazing personality. I like being in her company.
On our first meet, she showed extreme interest in me.
She accepts my health and my restrictions.
She hasn't said it but I think she wants to say those three words.

Her personal situation is less than desireable.
I have no sexual attraction to her even tho she acts like she wants to rip my clothes off anytime.

I like having her around me but I fear she wants more from me than I can give.
I don't want to hurt her.
I feel that if I tell her we can only be friends that she will end what relationship we have, I don't want that.

I know that she is not the one. She thinks I am the one.
The feelings are not mutual and I know I have to tell her.
Any suggestions?
I refuse to hurt her, she has had too much hurt in her life already.

I'm curious how it went Tom I hope everything was fine for you both.

no photo
Fri 05/19/17 12:52 AM

Okay lots of us have had this experience..
Someone messages you.. or you message them.. the conversation goes well it flows easy.. you get a good vibe from them even though you're texting them.. go figure that out..lol.. now I would assume you agree to meet this person to see if it's real ,the connection offline

now other people that you have conversations with.. maybe the vibe isn't too strong the conversation doesn't flow is easy.... do you go meet this person to see if the conversation or the vibe improves well meeting in person..
Or is it a matter of.. if you're not feeling it from the start then meeting them isn't going to change that..?

.. or have you had experiences where the vib wasn't great. Well texting them but when you met them it was great..?


I haven't experienced meeting someone from online in person yet, so I don't really quite know the exact feeling. But I do believe that if you have established a good and spontaneous conversation online and have developed emotional attachment,sonehow it could help your meeting more easy and comfortable . What is important is you have a good connection coz if not the first meeting would be awkward and difficult to establish footing on your conversation. Also, I wouldn't like to meet someone if I am not ready emotionally for I don't want someone to waste his time seeing me if there's no feelings even just a little from the start. Especially meeting someone from another country, but if you are just near each other it would be okay to meet and greet and see how it would go but with caution of course as you cannot just see someone so soon without knowing full well about him or her. If it is secure to see someone then go so you will know the real feeling. I wouldn't say that it would often improve or change something if you see each other so soon where the vib online isn't great from the beginning . If it does it could be due to physical attraction but then beware for it usually doesn't last longer. Mental and emotional connection last longer than physical connection.

TMommy's photo
Fri 05/19/17 03:50 AM

Tom4uhere.. You are not doing her any favours by NOT telling her, that's for sure.. If she likes you and wants to be your friend - great. If she wants more than what you are able to give, cut her loose so she can continue the search..no one should settle..


otherwise, I suspect you are keeping her on the hook for your own self serving reasons

tell her you care for her

and would like the friendship to remain intact

but you have too much respect for her to keep her thinking

it might lead to something else

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