so i'm still in love with this guy i broke up with over a year ago. he was my high school boyfriend i loved him soo much, the relationsip wasn't even that good except i felt a connection with him that was so strong & passionate that now even after not speaking to him for more than a year i still think about him everyday & miss us. does anybody have ANY advice on what to do-i wanna get over it but at the same time i feel like i want another cahnce. i dunno, i'm soo confused.

You're young and attractive, move on and find someone new. Do you have girlfriends? Go out and have some fun, you're sure to meet a guy.

Well honestly have you had a relationship since then? I only ask because sometimes you can miss having a relationship and confuse it with missing that person. Chances are if you haven't talked to him in a year then he's not big on the getting back together. I would recommend trying to figure out if it is really him that you miss or just having a boyfriend. It can be difficult not to have someone special to share your life with, but you need to know that if you can say the relationship wasn't even that good, then a part of you already know he's not the one. :) hope that helps a little

I heard an interesting piece of advice today...

"The best way to get out from under someone, is to get under someone else."



Do what you want with it...

I have no recommendations, just something that came up in conversation.

haha-i tried that ! i slept with 2 differant guys on the rebound-both of whih were terrible, made me miss him more lol

Hey i can relate i broke up with my girlfriend a while ago and we got back together, i didnt feel it was right however i did feel that i missed her not being around. WE are now broken up again for couple weeks and i feel it a little.

We all have a comfort zone you know experiences we had with this person that we can never forget, good and bad. You know they are irreplaceable and somtimes we dont want to let those go, but it has passed. Somtimes a good cry gets this out and you look ahead knowing that it wasnt ment to last, that someone will make you forget all about that person and you too will again be madly in love with someone who feels the same.

Sex is not the answer. You find someone that's really into you and not just for sex. Once you find that, you will find yourself consumed with thoughts of them as well, and in turn forget about your ex.

sometimes i feel like true love is an urban legend yah know ? i know that sounds negative but...is it really possible to love & be loved completely ?

I tend to be rather long on the rebound too, so I have a notion of what you're going through. In the case of my last breakup, it helped that after I had a few months to get her through my system, I realized that some of the things that she had done really made me angry. That made it easier for me to move on.

I think that Jess642 has the right idea, although not quite in the way that you've applied. It isn't just a matter of having sex with other men. In my experience, going through the motions of moving on is a good step in ACTUALLY moving on. Even if you feel a little bit awkward, go on dates and put forth an effort to behave like you would if you were completely unattached to this guy.

After a date, if you find yourself thinking about your ex or comparing your date to him, try to force those thoughts out of your mind. Act like you're over him until it becomes a habit and then keep up the habit until you realize you really ARE over him and you're enjoying yourself as a single person again.

EDIT:
Regarding true love, it sort of depends on what you mean by it. If you're asking about head-over-heels crazy infatuation where you both feel an instantaneous and permanent connection, then no, I don't believe that any such thing exists. For a long time now, I've been operating on the idea that "true love" is the DECISION to care for that person's wellbeing at least as much as you care for your own accompanied by feelings of affection and attraction.

crying into your pillow for 2 years helps......it helped me get over my high school sweet heart!!!

Is there a statute of limitations, on ending a relationship, and starting another one?

Why do people assume, that because you have not commenced a relationship three years after parting with your last partner, you are not 'over' them?

What happened to, 'I thought I might want a relationship, and then realised I dont'?

Without causing harm to another?

Who says you HAVE to be in a relationship??

I am just wondering is all...who makes the rules, of what is right and what is not???

Jess, companionship and intimacy are pretty important needs. (Note that I don't necessarily mean intimacy in the sexual sense.) For various reasons -- cultural or religious taboo, personal preference, traumatic experience, etc. many people do not feel that the most deeply satisfying degrees of companionship and intimacy are appropriate for casual relationships. Close relationships serve the purpose of providing a source of nourishing companionship in a fashion that is more universally accepted.

lets go through the 5 stages of grief......

sadly our society governs alot of that-too bad our society is shallow,petty,&ignorant !! though my reasons for wanting a relationship are just as pathetic-everyone wants to feel loved & special to someone,though really you should be able to love yourself without feeling like a freak because you don't have someome to hold your hand & call you baby

??????


Ummmm.....ok...



You lost me there...

Let me try again....

Why do people assume that because I am NOT in a relationship three years on, I am not 'over' the ex?

Are you saying society says you cannot be completely comfortable being single?

Jess- society and norms come into play. I think we as a society expect people to live a certain life, weight a certain weight and look a certain way. If your not the "norm" your not normal and people want to be normal. Some people waste thier life away not knowing that being them selves is the true "Norm"

haha - the second to last is my favorite !!

Aaaaahhhhh...the old 'normal' thing...no worries...


I wouldn't know normal if it bit me...let the rest of the world try normal...I like being abnormal.


Which brings me to my next part...

littlekatie...

are you sure it is you that feels something is missing from your world, or are you feeling pressured to be partnered?

Jess, sorry, I misunderstood what you were saying at first. I thought that you were trying to ask why people take the ending of relationships so hard. Or why people don't take a more pragmatic, free-flowing about getting in and out of relationships.

sounds like shes afriad to let her comfort with her X go.. but granted i can be wrong, and have been, especially when up against women =)