Littlelady, its not hope thats genuine truth and i believe in this

SDM think of the shoe in the other foot. If you were him would you want to meet your kid.?

Ultimately, loving myself too little is what's holding me back from doing what it would take to meet the person whom I so eagerly wish to love. It's a rough habit to get out of, though. Maybe having this discussion with you will be the kick in the pants that I need to actually start practicing the self-love that I need.

Change is the only constant.

Openminded to 'Happily ever after' ?

Hmmm...nope...I gave up pinning that tag (hope, wishes, wants, dreams) on someone else a long time ago.

and if it were you, would you wait 3 years to ask?

that's tricky ! i guess it depends..on you. your edwards mother so if you feel at all like it would be negative to him than you do what you gotta do mamma bear, but if you think the donor could do good things towards a healthy relationship between father & son, maybe it could be good. but the fact of the matter is it should be done on your terms & comfort level.when it comes down to it-it's about the little ones best interest

thank you katie!

no openminded to realize that the persuit of happiness is real and that it is feasable in finding granted you may not have to look but dont turn down a possible "prince charming" then in turn the "what-ifs" come into play....

My kids' father has had zero contact with his 4 kids, (now 22, 19, 13 and 10) for over 8 years.


I have one set of rules...pay the back pay of child support, and then I will consider access to the kids.

see, and i didnt even persue the issue. he left...he lost out on the most important years of his life! first steps, teeth, haircut, the works!!

ive never called or asked him (nor his family) for anything! i dont need him!

MY THEORY:

DADDIES CAN COME AND GO, BUT YOU ONLY HAVE ONE MOTHER!!!

If i was to immature to understand that i had a responsibility then yes i probably would wait. Do thats make me a good person, no and to tell you the truth i dont think anyone would feel good about themselves in that situation. Heck i give him a VERY smalle appplause in the fact that he had enough nerd to actually come back from his 3 years run to face what, in fact his his new life his child.

In a situation i believe in, if the father is a dead beat let the child find this out, like i did. Instead of not allowing him near the child and the child always wondering why mommy would let me near my father, let him say i understand why hes not in my life. Thats what happened to me granted im not every case

damn quote boxes---

I agree kalamazoo...i give him very little credit for finding me half across the country (but he had help from his family). none the less, why after 3 years? he asked me if he could meet us for lunch and then go to a doctor's office for a paternity test! WHAT NERVE!!!

alright guys it's bedtime for this lady !! sweet dreams everyone & thanks fr all the advice !! SDM good luck on your decision,Jess your quite the little firecracker & kalamazoo you were very helpful!!!

GOOD NIGHT KATIE!! sweet dreams....sorry i messed up your thread by puttin my drama on it!

Backpay of Child support in this country, assessed through the last taxable income, equals:

$1738 a month x 12 months x 8 years...(allowing for the loss of the eldest requiring financial support, four years ago, and the second eldest last year, however accounting for inflation over the past 8 years, it is still around that amount monthly)

somewhere in the ballpark of $160 000 backpay of childsupport...am I optimistic?

NOT AT ALL!!!

SDM, I don't agree with daddies will come and go, although that kind of happened to you quite literally.

I believe your son has one father...a biological one... and if he wishes to see his son, ask him how he plans on supporting this child?

How will he acknowledge this child, and what are his intentions towards the child?

If he comes back to you with his intentions are ALL about your son, and NOTHING about him, I would consider a picnic in the park, with a few friends, that he may visit and be introduced to your son, by the father's Christian name.

Perhaps you'll find value in this...


One Day You'll See

The first time I saw you,
I knew you were the one.
There was no question in my mind,
after having that much fun.

There's just something about you,
that I've never found before.
And now that we're good friends,
I find myself wanting more.

I never thought it possible,
to care for one so much.
But everyday that passes,
I long to feel your touch.

To look into your eyes,
would make my day complete,
cause every time you look at me,
my heart just skips a beat.

Everything I'd wished for,
every dream I'd hope come true,
I never thought would happen,
until the day that I met you.

I know that your not ready,
for the kind of commitment that I am,
but for you I'd wait forever,
there's nothing I can't stand.

Although it hurts to know,
that you don't feel the same as me,
hopefully one day you'll realize,
one day you'll wake up and see.