Topic: Why do we hate?
IgorFrankensteen's photo
Thu 07/27/17 02:30 PM
An EXCELLENT question to ask, both in this general way, and of oneself.

To begin with, Hate is not a simple, single thing, though it's very common to talk about it as though it is.

I have seen that for some people, hate is the label they apply when they have intense anger at someone or some thing. But even within that general and common sense, there are important details. People don't hate EVERYONE they get mad at. They don't hate every thing they get mad at.

In a very real way, I have seen that hate is something that people decide to do. Some people decide to hate (rather than just go somewhere else with their mind and life), because they think it is necessary to hate, in order to keep themselves safe in some way.

Some other people hate, as a sort of recreational game. You can tell this kind of person, by how often they grin and make jokes as they exercise their hatred.

Lots of people hate, as a way to feel that they are part of an "In Crowd." These sorts of people can be identified by the fact that when asked to explain themselves, they don't use any meaningful words of their own, they instead copy hate rants dutifully from the "leaders" of the hate crowd, and are unable to explain them with anything other than Official Hate Crowd Lingo.

Hate is NOT a "natural evolutionary factor," as some people want to think. Those people are divided between the ones who want a cover story to avoid responsibility for their very real decision to hate, and those who are confused and getting lost in an intellectual semantics conundrum in their minds. Fear is certainly a natural reaction, as is love, and anger. But again, hate requires the active application of voluntary mental processes in order to target it and voice it.


no photo
Thu 07/27/17 02:36 PM



Yin and yang


In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang describes how opposite or contrary forces are actually complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another...spock




Dear sir, I do not know much about Chinese philosophy I must admit but I admire their lifestyle, culture and respect they have for people. Thank you.

no photo
Thu 07/27/17 02:40 PM

An EXCELLENT question to ask, both in this general way, and of oneself.

To begin with, Hate is not a simple, single thing, though it's very common to talk about it as though it is.

I have seen that for some people, hate is the label they apply when they have intense anger at someone or some thing. But even within that general and common sense, there are important details. People don't hate EVERYONE they get mad at. They don't hate every thing they get mad at.

In a very real way, I have seen that hate is something that people decide to do. Some people decide to hate (rather than just go somewhere else with their mind and life), because they think it is necessary to hate, in order to keep themselves safe in some way.

Some other people hate, as a sort of recreational game. You can tell this kind of person, by how often they grin and make jokes as they exercise their hatred.

Lots of people hate, as a way to feel that they are part of an "In Crowd." These sorts of people can be identified by the fact that when asked to explain themselves, they don't use any meaningful words of their own, they instead copy hate rants dutifully from the "leaders" of the hate crowd, and are unable to explain them with anything other than Official Hate Crowd Lingo.

Hate is NOT a "natural evolutionary factor," as some people want to think. Those people are divided between the ones who want a cover story to avoid responsibility for their very real decision to hate, and those who are confused and getting lost in an intellectual semantics conundrum in their minds. Fear is certainly a natural reaction, as is love, and anger. But again, hate requires the active application of voluntary mental processes in order to target it and voice it.




Igor, I am impressed. And I smile. You are a very wise person. Thank you very much for expressing your thoughts. Allow me please to extract two of my favorite paragraphs.,,

"

AugustW's photo
Thu 07/27/17 02:42 PM
"It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us"

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Thu 07/27/17 02:44 PM
Edited by lu_rosemary on Thu 07/27/17 02:45 PM


1,In a very real way, I have seen that hate is something that people decide to do. Some people decide to hate (rather than just go somewhere else with their mind and life), because they think it is necessary to hate, in order to keep themselves safe in some way.

2.Some other people hate, as a sort of recreational game. You can tell this kind of person, by how often they grin and make jokes as they exercise their hatred.


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Thu 07/27/17 02:48 PM

"It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us"


No one is perfect..Thank you for this!

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Thu 07/27/17 03:05 PM

Hi Blondey,,waving flowerforyou

It is easy to throw around terms like hate .. jealousy .. insecurity fear .. when in reality we decide preferences of what we like or dislike in our daily choices . We do not have to like everyone or everything .. so when does not liking become hate ..waving
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No one is perfect you know. I appreciate your opinion..we cant be liked by everyone.

mzrosie's photo
Thu 07/27/17 03:12 PM

Generally people who hate actually hate themselves or something within themselves. Rather than deal with their own internal conflict, they turn it outward.


I agree with you, AugustW :thumbsup:
Some people are unhappy with themselves and they lash out to happy people. Like if someone says good morning, their answer would be "Go to hell!" or something to that effect.

biggrin

mzrosie's photo
Thu 07/27/17 03:15 PM

"It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us"


holy mackarel, AugustW!
I just agreed to your first response and then you go spiritual on us whoa

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Thu 07/27/17 03:15 PM

To help you put it into perspective .. people often mistake dislike for hate .. do you know the difference ????


For example .. on mingle .. I dislike members who..

Put up pictures that are not their own
Who plagiarise or claim credit for poetry or words that are not their own
Who are not honest about who they are

.. I dislike their deception .. therefore I do not respect them as a person

It is easy to throw around terms like hate .. jealousy .. insecurity fear .. when in reality we decide preferences of what we like or dislike in our daily choices . We do not have to like everyone or everything .. so when does not liking become hate :wink: waving


Wonderful points. That's a lot of what I was trying to get at when I mentioned the "general and common sense" of hating. I think it's important to recognize the difference, because some of the people who want to promote or excuse or justify the more destructive kinds of hate, use the casual way that a lot of us say "I hate canned peas and carrots," to excuse their much more serious and even violent hatreds.

mzrosie's photo
Thu 07/27/17 03:20 PM
Edited by mzrosie on Thu 07/27/17 03:22 PM

When you can Identify in yourself, the very judgement you cast on another...

Judgments and pre-judgments are based on what we see in ourselves, or we wouldn't know where to base our opinions.

The possibility of hate may come when you see in another what you powerfully dislike in yourself, but have yet to accept on a conscious level within yourself.


oooh PJcreative01, you're not just another pretty face... I'm liking you already flowerforyou

drinker

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Thu 07/27/17 03:22 PM
Dunno about hate, other than what Blondey said that we often use the word to refer to "dislike". I can say "I hate early mornings" but in actual fact I don't hate.
Real hate as I understand it is a state of being that lasts.

I don't hate, I don't think I ever did, I'm not even sure I am able to hate.
In that sense I do not agree with the statement "everyone who is capable of love is capable of hate." I AM capable of love, very deep love, and I think it is exactly that love that keeps me from being able to hate.
Yes I can get very angry, but that's not hate.

I also tend to see the bigger picture of things which I think stops me from hating as well.
To explain that point a bit: People who hate, feel utter disgust or disrespect for a group/person/race/situation tend to zoom in on details and magnify those. They do not see the bigger picture.
Like getting angry with a pebble for disturbing the calm surface of a lake, and not understanding that the ripples it creates may push a butterfly against a stalk of grass at the other side of the lake so it can crawl out, dry its wings and fly again.
If you just look at the pebble and hate it, you miss the rest.

I'm really not sure if I can hate.
Yes, I hate burning my tongue when my coffee is hot, but that's not hate, only a figure of speech.

no photo
Thu 07/27/17 03:25 PM

Dunno about hate, other than what Blondey said that we often use the word to refer to "dislike". I can say "I hate early mornings" but in actual fact I don't hate.
Real hate as I understand it is a state of being that lasts.

I don't hate, I don't think I ever did, I'm not even sure I am able to hate.
In that sense I do not agree with the statement "everyone who is capable of love is capable of hate." I AM capable of love, very deep love, and I think it is exactly that love that keeps me from being able to hate.
Yes I can get very angry, but that's not hate.

I also tend to see the bigger picture of things which I think stops me from hating as well.
To explain that point a bit: People who hate, feel utter disgust or disrespect for a group/person/race/situation tend to zoom in on details and magnify those. They do not see the bigger picture.
Like getting angry with a pebble for disturbing the calm surface of a lake, and not understanding that the ripples it creates may push a butterfly against a stalk of grass at the other side of the lake so it can crawl out, dry its wings and fly again.
If you just look at the pebble and hate it, you miss the rest.

I'm really not sure if I can hate.
Yes, I hate burning my tongue when my coffee is hot, but that's not hate, only a figure of speech.

:thumbsup: flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 07/27/17 03:29 PM
those who hate Muslims .. .. homosexuals.. transgender .. people of another religion/ race or sexual orientation ..

what exactly is it that they see in themselves ???
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What you just said..Its beautiful.

ome317's photo
Thu 07/27/17 03:45 PM
Is it possible to hate your own anger?

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Thu 07/27/17 04:21 PM
I have experienced having individual people clearly DECIDE to hate me. Two ex-lovers in particular, decided to hate me as a sort of exercise, to firm up their decision to get me out of their life. Both calmed down again after they no longer feared that I would try to re-enter their life against their will.

In a lesser way, I have seen the occasional customer decide to hate me, or to hate another service technician, because they thought they had to, in order to get the company sending representatives to send someone different, or in order to try to make a case to the company who made the machine they were unhappy about, decide to give them a replacement.

One recently was mad that I reported (as I was required to, on pain of losing my job) that their machine had non-wear related damage, which wasn't covered by warranty. They wanted someone who WOULDN'T report damage instead, so they complained to my manager that I was defective in all sorts of ways, which were exaggerations of their actual observations. The fact that I smiled as a part of being generally professional and positive, they used to complain that I didn't take their concerns seriously. When I called to tell them I was on the way to help, but wasn't sure how long it would take (since I had never been there before), they claimed that as proof that I wasn't dedicated to help them at all.

Just as my ex's who immediately stopped hating me as soon as they felt better about themselves for having dumped me, the customer immediately stopped complaining about my "misbehavior" the moment my manager said the regular tech would return.

no photo
Thu 07/27/17 05:40 PM
Edited by Two on Thu 07/27/17 05:40 PM
I have to ask, is hate a bad thing? Is it wrong?



Why do you Love?

no photo
Thu 07/27/17 05:43 PM

I have to ask, is hate a bad thing? Is it wrong?



Why do you Love?

my first comment 4m?

no photo
Thu 07/27/17 07:45 PM
Why do we hate?

Because we love.
And real, practical, pragmatic life sometimes makes demands on people to work against their prior judgments and associations and competing instincts in order to survive.

No emotion or feeling is absolutely "good."
All emotions can lead to future harm.
The biological process of love is based on procreation. Attraction, leading to sex, leading to babies. You naturally pair bond for the sake of babies, to stay together long enough to raise and train the baby to run away from lions and not get kicked out of the group.
You don't fall in love based on your own selfish long term emotional health and fulfillment.
You can "fall" in love with people who aren't good for you in the long term.
Your body has natural emotions and naturally developing feelings to counteract itself in order to fulfill its best survival interest.

Objective rational thought takes training and time.
Historically speaking people didn't always have the time to investigate, experiment, argue, collaborate, and come up with a plan of action.
"Oh, my mate, who is the love of my life, is drunk and enraged and beating me and about to stab me? Oh gee, if only I had a naturally occurring emotion that could be triggered to overcome this fear and need to live up to my love feelings, motivating me to take action."
"Oh, those other human beings keep attacking our village? I could never harm another human being, I don't want to fight and risk myself, gee if only there was a naturally occurring emotion to work against this need to be part of a group and therefore non violent towards the people I rely upon, and it could be focused on them rather than all people turning me into a berzerker running amok."

Other than that, lots of people use the term "hate" when they really mean something else because their vocabulary and/or understanding of themselves is limited.

no photo
Thu 07/27/17 08:08 PM


I have experienced having individual people clearly DECIDE to hate me. Two ex-lovers in particular, decided to hate me as a sort of exercise, to firm up their decision to get me out of their life. Both calmed down again after they no longer feared that I would try to re-enter their life against their will.

In a lesser way, I have seen the occasional customer decide to hate me, or to hate another service technician, because they thought they had to, in order to get the company sending representatives to send someone different, or in order to try to make a case to the company who made the machine they were unhappy about, decide to give them a replacement.

One recently was mad that I reported (as I was required to, on pain of losing my job) that their machine had non-wear related damage, which wasn't covered by warranty. They wanted someone who WOULDN'T report damage instead, so they complained to my manager that I was defective in all sorts of ways, which were exaggerations of their actual observations. The fact that I smiled as a part of being generally professional and positive, they used to complain that I didn't take their concerns seriously. When I called to tell them I was on the way to help, but wasn't sure how long it would take (since I had never been there before), they claimed that as proof that I wasn't dedicated to help them at all.

Just as my ex's who immediately stopped hating me as soon as they felt better about themselves for having dumped me, the customer immediately stopped complaining about my "misbehavior" the moment my manager said the regular tech would return.



Nobody truly knows the contents of another's heart

So it's your opinion that hate was involved in the hearts of those in your share above.

I think pure hate runs much deeper than broken bonds and a warranty on a machine...


Thank you both so much. flowerforyou flowerforyou