Feel so frustrated.. weak and disappointed in myself ... I know better than move so fast..
But yet I do... I get so caught up in it all ..so swept up in it.. in the emotions.. in that happy togetherness.. in the togetherness... I begin to sell myself on the idea ..can this be it?is this the one..?..but
Does it matter!. does it really matter? right now in this moment.. in this moment of blissful happiness do I really care?. Say to myself. don't look too hard don't look too long term.. just enjoy this moment...with them.. but then it happens... real feelings real emotions..
Damn it !!..you said you wouldn't let this happen!!... now what do you do? what do you say.... nothing !!what can you say.. you've already thought it you've already felt it.. now you have to let go.. don't want to let go.. but need to let it go... hate letting go..
Hate letting things go so far... but I can't help getting swept up in it...

Never give up, no1.
Remember, you have your family right there beside you and that's good enough.