Dennis Gaskill
Almost a Newsletter – 270
http://www.appleseeds.org/10-Traits-Kill-Happiness_Gaskill.htm

When we look for things to bring us happiness we often look outside of ourselves, and we're often looking for things we can gain.

However, instead of looking for external gain, looking inward and giving up some of our self-defeating thought habits and behavioral patterns can bring us as much or more happiness than external gains. See what you think…

Give up internal criticism.
We are often our own worst critic. Many times our self-criticism isn't a fair criticism, it's a negative thought pattern that we repeat to ourselves. These thought patterns are often ingrained in us at an early age, even before we learn to think and reason. If we're caught in this trap, we need to realize it's not our fault, and then instead of beating ourselves up, try a little inward kindness instead.

Give up external criticism.
It makes sense if we're always looking for what's wrong that we'll find it. Doing so means we're finding things to be unhappy about. Isn't it better to look for the good, and in doing so, find things to be happy about instead?

Give up the fear of change.
We grow comfortable in our circumstances, and often fear change will bring discomfort. But we don't live in a static world, change is ongoing, and it's often for the better. If we don't fear change, we can often direct how it affects us, thus making change more to our liking.

Give up the shadows of past sorrow.
Most, if not all of us, have secret sorrows. A good many of us use them to rationalize why we shouldn't take new risks. For example, if we've had our heart broken by someone we loved, we might use that experience as a shield between us and others so no one can hurt us that much again. That also means we're hanging on to the pain instead of moving past it.

Give up trying to please everyone.
When we try to please everyone we inevitably end up denying ourselves. Denying ourselves can be a good trait when it's for a greater good, but it can also turn us into doormats for everyone to walk on. Allowing ourselves to be repeatedly taken advantage of may please others, but it usually displeases us at some level.

Give up self-limiting beliefs.
Many of us have old, out-dated beliefs about ourselves. Some date back to childhood and are only valid simply because we still believe them. Most of us are capable of far more than we realize. If our beliefs matched our potential we would likely amaze ourselves at what we could accomplish. Instead of saying things like I can't or I don't know how…ask, "How can I?" You may pleasantly surprise yourself at all you can do.

Give up blaming others for our circumstances or results.
We have to own our life. Blaming others is to give away our power. Albert Ellis said it best, "The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny."

Give up the need to be right.
When we force others to accept that we are right, it usually means putting them in the position of being wrong. No one likes that. Many times there is little or nothing to be gained from being right. Forcing our convictions on others often alienates them from us. Not all victories are worth the cost.

Give up the desire to control everything.
It's often better to get along than to get our own way. When we insist on controlling everything we are silently saying to others that their desires, tastes, ideas, and intelligence are inferior to ours, or that they aren't as important as we are. As with insisting we are right, this can alienate others from us, causing unhappiness.

Give up comparing ourselves to others.
Comparing our known reality to the perceived reality we have about someone else isn't a fair proposal. The only truly useful comparison we can make is to compare our self to our self. Are we making progress? Are we improving as human beings? Are we wiser than we were five years ago? Are we more understanding? Kinder? More skilled? We can't mark our decay or growth against others because other people are not static.

Any one of those thought habits or behavioral traits can dampen our happiness. Indulging in all of them is likely to result in a strong sense of unhappiness. All can be overcome if we choose.

The happiness we may gain comes at a price though…change. And remember, item three was about giving up the fear of change. That's why those who feel trapped by any of these behavioral traits often remain trapped by them.

Put it my way...Eagles fly alone, ducks in a flock.
In many ways, I try to look 4 ways to BE HAPPY and STAY HAPPY.

And what a better way than USING the REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY
against what life try to offer against the odds.




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10 Traits of Happiness
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http://www.infantryinc.com/10-traits-to-happiness.html


Trait 1:
Commitment
The most important trait in strong, happy teams is commitment. Commitment to the team—putting the team first—and commitment to each individual on the team in helping him or her become everything he or she can.…With commitment comes the desire to help team members reach their potential.

Trait 2:
Appreciation
Do you let your team members know that they are appreciated? Do you give them positive attention?…Strong teams focus on the strengths of each other—not the faults.


Trait 3:
Time Together
Healthy teams enjoy being together. They work together, play together, and enjoy leisure times together. They may be very busy, but they…plan time together.


Trait 4:
Communication
To understand each other, a team has to be willing to invest the time necessary to share their feelings and opinions. Because you are a product of your experiences, each day you are a new person. Without talking and listening to each other, team members can soon become strangers.

Trait 5:
BELIEFS
Worshiping together is a bonding experience. Understanding , excepting, & respecting each other's beliefs will bring faith amongst one another

Trait 6:
Emotional connection
Happy teams have fun together; they play together; they laugh the cry together Have a sense of humor during tense, troublesome moments…& be patient and understanding during times that are not our brightest defuses the tension and has an immediate calming effect.


Trait 7:
Share Responsibility
Flexibility is an important trait in strong teams, especially when it comes to sharing responsibility and roles. If team members will do whatever is necessary to meet each other's needs, even if the task does not happen to be on their list, everyone is happier.

T ogether
E veryone
A ccomplishes
M ore!


Trait 8:
Common Interests and goals
The more that team members have in common, the more they tend to do together. Having similar interests and developing common goals gives the team something to look forward to, to plan toward, and to experience together. There is no I EMILY only I am Infantry Inc.


Trait 9:
Service to Others
Just as a pond grows stagnant if there is no outlet, so does the team. Your own problems and worries can become insignificant when seen from the perspective of others who have so much less than you.


Trait 10:
Seeking Help
Healthy teams are not problem-free; they just admit to problems and get the help they need to solve them! The longer a problem drags on without a solution, the more discouraging team life becomes. Do not allow this to happen.

When you are a big enough person to admit you are not perfect and when you choose to get the help you need, not only will you gain the respect of your team, but you will find that your goal of living "happily ever after" is attainable after all.

That's wonderful but I don't exist in a team environment.
There is no "I" in team.

People exist in the sense of "I"
"I" is the foundation of life for without the "I" there is no "YOU".

"TEAM" is a concept of society. "TEAM" is, of itself, a society.
"I" can be part of a society but not the society as a whole.

"SOCIETY" is an external manifestation of "I"
"I" is the foundation of that manifestation.

A "FOUNDATION" supports.
Therefore it is vital to the "TEAM" that "I" is a solid foundation.
Once the foundation provided by "I" is solid, the "TEAM" stands stronger.

LOL ..Every version is debatable no doubt,
but at what point, or length??

Too much of I and U, brought the society where it is
today, turning it into a SELFISH, GREEDY, CRUEL,
NO FEELINGS & DEATH = DESTRUCTIVE & DIVIDED ZOMBIES SOCIETY

I AM ..That's how even the bible starts her stories
(But that's for the supreme only)

Even leaders have to be part of a team not to mention the followers.
Couples in any form of relation/s must be/work as a team.
Without COOPERATION/S we get NOWHERE.

If we want to Follow the I or U, the CABAL ( Illuminati ) ( Freemason/s )
FALSE OMNIPOTENT GOD, then, we may accept his BRAINWASHING
to lead us into Division & Hell.

The UNION of hearts, souls, and minds will overcome evil.
ONLY Together as a team, we shall overcome everything.

I or U ALONE, CAN'T ACHIEVE MUCH

me and my girl like to sit on the porch swing
feel the wind on our skin and listen to the birds
while we hold hands...in silence

idk about others, but that works good for us...

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How beatiful.. argo
That's a Team work to me

Don't forget the Tia-Maria liquor for her
and Guinness beer for you.
Alternatively, a good Irish scotch will do you.

wtf are you laughing about ??

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Just LAUGHING
Perhaps because I suggested an Irish
scotch instead an yankee whiskey ??
And that was without thinking on the "wtf"??

i you're not talking to me personally, DON'T quote me..address the topic or find someone else to laugh at...

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Actually I WAS replying to your comment,
and I believe was not rude, just polite & funny.
I always knew you have a sense of humor,
but people change after promotion/s
If by any chance your stars are too shiny
on your shoulder, or big enough to touch your nose,
I will apologize if I personally offended you.
Pfft.

your head head is so shiny it's killing my happiness and
blinding my eyes..

just replying to YOUR comment, not rude at all, just *funny i always knew you such a good sense of humor...is your tongue long enough to wash your forehead ??

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LOL...

You've obviously missed what I was saying.
No worries, its all good.

I wasn't saying that teamwork isn't important, I was saying that one must know and accept themselves before they can be a team player.

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NO Tom , I NEVER MISS A BIT.
DON'T LET THE OTHER ABOVE COMMENTS of/with "argo"
DECEIVE YOU or ME...That's theatrical staged
You just missed the SELF-PRIMARY comment.


ACCORDING TO YOUR COMMENT
YOUR SELF AGREED & ACCEPTED that,




I DO forget many times what I am saying, but never
LIE or CONTRADICT MY OWN STATEMENTS.

Seams like you contradict ( Argue against ) yourself.
Is that what you do often, consistently or repeatedly ??


Forgive me, perhaps I only see it as it is

You do realize that my comment is using "I" in reference to "the Self", right?

Personally, I am not a team player.
I exist alone, completely alone.
I am fine with that.
Someday I would like to meet someone to share life with but right now, there's nobody.

That doesn't change the simplicity of understanding that someone has to believe in themselves before they can adopt a team mentality that is best for the team.

I've attended morale boosting seminars, even hosted a few in my career. I know about teamwork and all the motivational methods to building an effective team.
Thing is, if the person doesn't believe in themselves and has personality issues that will affect the team.

"Go Home and get YOUR house in order, then come back and be part of the team." was something that I've said to a few different people in my career.

UP comes the winner..You sure must be one



Winners make a habit of manufacturing their own positive expectations in advance of the event.
"Brian Tracy"

PS:...Now don't interpret it in my reverse psychology
Stick to your own.

In an effort to understand how you may be misunderstanding my intent, I reread your post.
I think I see the issue...

That's wonderful but I don't exist in a team environment.
This is a personal statement from me, the I refers to me, personally.
There is no "I" in team.
This is a motivational 'dogma' phrase used at team building exercises, more of a reference than anything else, very little significance to the what I wrote following after.


The use of "I" in parenthesis is to reference the Self, the ID, the...Consciousness.
I am not personally using the reference towards myself but using it as a substitute as a play on the No "I" in Team phrase.

Therefore it is vital to the "TEAM" that "I"(me, you or anyone) is a solid foundation.

Once the foundation provided by "I"(me, you or anyone) is solid, the "TEAM" stands stronger.

Why bother repeating an answer..That's why I love
watching all kinds dancing.
Good luck

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All good in the hood mate

Thanks for the post Tom.

I should print that and read it daily.