good evening all

i'm a mature(ish) lady looking for a wee blether to brighten up the boring and lonely moments in life

no expectations, no barriers. just NO INTIMATE TALK or asking folk out on dates etc

so grab a coffee, get comfy and join in the chat

let's kick start it

what is your favourite and / or least favourite thing about this time of year and why?

I love autumn - the colours of the leaves, the change in the air, the shop windows shining bright as it darkens earlier outside

I do miss have someone to spend cosy evenings in with or holding each other close while we walk hand in hand along the beach or through the park

I ride my motorcycle for pleasure. This time of year in the North East is the best time for riding.. a little nip in the air.. leaves are falling from the trees and the are spectacular colors.

really nice

Hi

I live in quite a poor area of my city however I love this time of year
I know its a little early but a lot of my neighbours are putting up Xmas trees early looking forward to the festive season

seeing the trees and lights when I am going to work makes up for the fact I don't see daylight anymore and I can feel the hope that maybe next year things will be better for those less fortunate than myself

I'm up for listening to a blether if you want

Hi! I'm Ashish Seth from India

Hi! I'm Ashish Seth from India

yes my neighbours have decorations up too. far too early for me, max 2 weeks before Christmas is enough

and nothing wrong with living in a deprived area as long as you are making the best out of life

is that the north east of england or Scotland?
certainly a bracing wind across that coast regardless

nice to meet a 'local' sort of

so what brings you to a dating site?

yes it certainly is something different. this is only the 2nd site I've been on and this is the first night I've really sat and interacted with the community part of the site

beats the boredom a little I suppose

Sitting on the South Coast of Mississippi in the United States.
Its a warm autumn day (Bout 70 degrees F) and the fall bird population has hit and is continuing south.
Being southern Mississippi and living in new construction duplex apartments I don't like the fact that the floors get cold in the winter and at night, the floors are starting to get kinda chilly.
Broke out the slippers the other night.
The crisp air is a major contrast to the stifiling summer humidity and it is easier to breathe. Not winter coat weather yet but certainly long sleeves are prudent.
The beaches are getting bare but the pools are still getting activity, sometimes even at night.
Nightlife is still thriving in this small beach town. The outdoor venues have started rolling up for indoor activities and the local bars and lounges have a few patio patrons but not much.
The winter parades and festivals will be starting soon. I imagine they will be freezing the colleseum for ice skating soon enough.
I miss snowmobiling and nighttime snowfall.
All in all, spring and fall are my favorite southern seasons. The winter chill gets in my old bones and I can't take the oppressive heat of summer much anymore.

here on the west coast of Scotland there has been snow, this past few days and temperatures just below freezing

I was in the usa mid October and came across temperatures of 25*c and 35*c but we are lucky if we get the lowest of these temperatures a couple of good days in the summer (july - September)

Topic suggestions...

Effectuation is a way of thinking that serves entrepreneurs in the processes of opportunity identification and new venture creation. Effectuation includes a set of decision-making principles expert entrepreneurs are observed to employ in situations of uncertainty. Situations of uncertainty are situations in which the future is unpredictable, goals are not clearly known and there is no independent environment that serves as the ultimate selection mechanism.

Anticipation is an emotion involving pleasure, excitement, or anxiety in considering an expected event.

Rejection in psychology is an interpersonal situation that occurs when a person or group of people exclude an individual from a social relationship.

Self-esteem reflects a person's overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself, as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame.

Acceptance in human psychology is a person's assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change it or protest it.

Acquiescence occurs when a person knowingly stands by without raising any objection to the infringement of his or her rights, while someone else unknowingly and without malice aforethought acts in a manner inconsistent with their rights.

Opinion is a judgment, viewpoint, or statement that is not conclusive. It may deal with subjective matters in which there is no conclusive finding, or it may deal with facts which are sought to be disputed by the logical fallacy that one is entitled to their opinions. What distinguishes fact from opinion is that facts are more likely to be verifiable.

Id, ego, and super-ego are the three parts of the psychic apparatus defined in Sigmund Freud's structural model of the psyche.
Psyche is the totality of the human mind, conscious and unconscious. Psychology is the scientific or objective study of the psyche. The word has a long history of use in psychology and philosophy, dating back to ancient times, and represents one of the fundamental concepts for understanding human nature from a scientific point of view.

Communication is the act of conveying intended meanings from one entity or group to another through the use of mutually understood signs and semiotic rules.

The 10 Commandments of Effective Communication

I. Thou shalt listen first.
To communicate in a way that others understand, you have to learn what's on their minds, first. That's why listening is so important.
Active listening involves asking questions, along with concentrated effort to understand your partner's answers--all while resisting the urge to judge. When you regularly and skillfully listen to others, you stay in touch with their reality. You become quickly aware of the other person's highs and lows, and how they are dealing with them. Further, you send the message that what's important to them is important to you. Your opinion then carries more weight, because it's based on reality--your partner's reality.

II. Thou shalt show empathy.
When others tell you their story, endeavor to understand their thought process and see the world from their perspective. (This is called cognitive empathy.)

III. Thou shalt focus on the positive.
Dwelling on the negative in others is a surefire way to breed contempt and close someone's ears to your own message. Therefore, focus on the positive in others by;Telling them what you appreciate about them,Finding common ground, even if you disagree
Laying this foundation first makes your partners more willing to hear dissenting or (constructively) critical opinions later.

IV. Thou shalt be sincere.
When praising, don't flatter or praise superficial qualities. Be genuine regarding what you appreciate about others. When sharing negative feedback, don't beat around the bush or water it down. Rather, communicate out of a desire to help--and that motive will become obvious to your partner.
In addition, be willing to sincerely apologize. As the saying goes:
Apologizing doesn't always mean you're wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value your relationship more than your ego.

V. Thou shalt be specific.
People aren't mind-readers. Therefore, don't just tell others you appreciate them or that something bothers you; tell them specifically what you appreciate, or what needs to change--and why. (Of course, if it's negative, communicating with tact and grace will make your message easier to accept.)

VI. Thou shalt be respectful.
You earn respect when you show it to others, first.
Acknowledge others when you see them by giving a smile and nod of the head, or a simple hello. When speaking, avoid sarcasm and cutting remarks, which beg for negative emotional reactions. Instead, speak to others the way you want them to speak to you.

VII. Thou shalt pause.
"The pause" is as simple as taking a moment to stop and think before you speak, especially if you're in a highly emotional state. It may sound simple, but while easy in theory, it's highly difficult to practice consistently. But if you learn from mistakes and continue to improve, the pause will help you avoid embarrassment, prevent regrets, and save countless relationships.

VIII. Thou shalt be transparent.
There's nothing worse than the feeling that someone is keeping a secret from you.
Transparency doesn't mean sharing everything about yourself, to everyone, all of the time.
But it does mean saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and sticking to your values and principles above all else.

IX. Thou shalt know when to yield.
Resist the urge to attack every opinion or statement you don't agree with.
Remember that people are emotionally attached to their beliefs. If you mercilessly expose every flaw in your partner's reasoning, even if you're right, he will feel attacked and close his mind to whatever you have to say. This doesn't mean agreeing with views you're opposed to. Rather, it's about learning to choose which battles are worth fighting.

X. Thou shalt be consistent.
To be effective, communication must continue to flow. Make time for your partners by communicating in various forms, such as in person, telephone, or through written messages (electronic and traditional).
Everyone's busy, so make sure you schedule time to simply talk and catch up with others. The more important the relationship, the more often you should be having those one-on-one conversations.

We live in a complex world of people that are all unique personally but being social animals we adopt social concepts as we are exposed to them. Not all those social concepts are positive.
If you are surrounded by negativity, you tend to adopt a sense of negativity.
NEWS has the most attention when it is negative. Media has the most attention when it is extreme.
People are bombarded with negativity. I noticed a marked move to a positive outlook on life by merely not watching television.
Freed from the constant bombardment of negativity and manipulation my mind focused on real life stuff that was positive. I started seeing old things in my life with a different viewpoint and realized that I was making things out to be negative because I was expecting them to be.
I noticed that the people around me perpetuate and distribute negative views often because they were told to see it that way. Not directly, subliminally. They 'expect' others to agree with their negativity as if negative things are somehow more important than positive things. When you don't comply, some will get hurt or irate that you are not in agreement with their negative views.
To me, it is a delusional state of mind to promote negativity.

Is it not better to assess and then assign negative or positive as it is?
How often do you find yourself being absorbed by negative news?
Do you even notice it?

I love British weather
All four seasons
Even the great Vivaldi agrees

oops, double post

i'd love to visit new Zealand one day. imagine it pretty much like Scotland but just a little warmer

what sort of temperatures do you get in the peak of summer?

I was in the usa on a road trip in October there

started in seattle and went on a road trip down the pacific west coast to LA and then hopped on a play for 2 nights in new York before heading home