This is a bricklayers’ accident report, which was printed in the Australian version of the Health & Safety at Work Journal.
This is a true story. Had the guy died, he’d have received the Darwin Award, For sure.


Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Paragraph 3 of the accident report form.
I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a more detailed account, and I trust the following explanation will be sufficient.

I am, by trade, a bricklayer. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six storey building.
When I had completed my work, I found that there were some bricks left over, which, when weighed later, were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand. I decided to lower them in a barrel, using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it.

Then, I went down, and untied the rope, holding on to it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.
You will note, in Paragraph 11 of the accident report form, that I weigh 135lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind, and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downwards at an equally impressive speed.
This explains the fractured skull, and minor abrasions and broken collar bone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind, and was able to hold tightly onto the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain. At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks left the ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50lbs.
I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.
Once again, in the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth, and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

At this point, my luck began to change slightly.
The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me down enough to lessen my injuries, when I fell onto the pile of bricks and, fortunately, only 3 vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind, and let go of the rope, and I lay there, watching the empty barrel begin its’ descent back down the side of the building, and its’ inevitable landing on my lower torso.
This explains the two broken legs.

Sir,
I trust this is sufficient explanation for the board of inquiry.

Well done.

A classic! thanks for sharing!

Haha! We read about this story in a physics class, learning about momentum or force or something, thanks for sharing!