Tequila Christmas Cake

Ingredients:

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
Nuts
1 bottle tequila
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the tequila to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the tequila
again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and
drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a
large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point
it's best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup... just in
case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and
chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Mix
on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a
drewscriver. Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two
cups of salt. Or something. Check the tequila. Now shift the lemon juice
and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and
try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw
the bowl through the window. Finish the tequila and wipe counter with the
cat.

Sounds good to me...