Seeing that's it's a quiet day in the forums, I'll do my best to put a smile on all your lovely faces..


Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses 500 euros on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up.
Michael O'Connor looks around and asks, 'Someone got's to tell Paddy's wife.. Who will it be?'

They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one.. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.

'Discreet??? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me.'

Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers, and asks what he wants.

Gallagher declares, 'Your husband just lost 500 Euros, and is afraid to come home'

'Tell him to drop dead!', says Murphy's wife...

'I'll go tell him.' says Gallagher.

lol where did u get it Dino

you no a lot of jokes read a few of : them some are quite good

Nice one, sure you can't beat a bit of laughter on a dull day..

Thx Dino

Sure I may as well seeing as eric ain't here to throw peanut shells..

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut, and bruised, and he's walking with a limp.
'What happened to you?' asks Sean, the bartender.

'Micheal O'Connor and me had a fight,' says Paddy.

'That little O'Connor,' says Sean, 'He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand.'

'That he did,' says Paddy, 'a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it.'

'Well,' says Sean, 'you should have defended yourself. Didn't you have something in your hand yerself?'

That I did,' said Paddy, 'Mrs. O'Connor's breast, and a thing of beauty it was; but useless in a fight.'

Very welcome Grace, glad your smiling..

lol I cannot hold my laughter

Happy days, and there's more to come..lol

I’m laughing to tears

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over. 'So,' says the cop to the driver, 'where have ya been?'

'Why, I've been to the pub of course,' slurs the Irishman.

'Well,' says the cop, 'it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening.'

'I did all right,' the drunk says with a smile.

'Did you know,' says the cop, standing straight, and folding his arms across his chest, 'that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?'

'Oh, thank heavens,' sighs Paddy. 'For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.'

One for the road, seeing as it's nearly beer O'Clock here in the old country..

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.

He says, 'So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?'

She says, 'Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.'
The priest says, 'Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?'

She says, 'That he did, Father.'

The priest says, 'What did he ask, Mary?'

She says, 'He said, Please Mary, put down that damn gun....'

lol

Ok Ok, just one more..

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, 'Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman.'

'Oh yeah?' said Charlie, 'And how did this one end?'

'When it was over,' Mike replied, 'She came to me on her hands and knees.'

'Really,' said Charles, 'Now that's a switch! What did she say?'

She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'

That's all folks..

no peanut shells today dino

















at least not yet

thanks for the giggles dino

Very welcome, keep smiling, you know it looks awesome on you..