well this is it i'm at my end's
i was marred for 13 years she had
two kid's, now we been apart for 7
years, i couldn't have kid's of my
own so when we departed the younger
one stayed with me, he was a week old
at the time now he is 17 i'v done every
thing for him i call him my own.he know's i'm
not.but i have been ther every time he get's
into trouble or get's kick out of school i'v
done it all. well this year i went all out for
him for christmas. and he still dosen't show me
any respeat.he dosen't even help around home or
pick up after him self, he dosn't go by rule's
and they ant that bad. what do i do ?

UH OH.BAD BOY!
BUT SERIOUSLY.......WHEN MY SON WAS THAT AGE,HE WAS THE EXACT SAME WAY. I WOULD TELL HIM,"I WAS'NT BORN A MOM.SO,HELP ME A LITTLE."
NOWS[AFTER BOOT CAMP,JUVINILE,AND A HOSPITAL FOR TEENS]
HE CALMED DOWN.
I THINK ITS THE AGE.A PHASE.

HOPEFULLY.

BUT,JUST TRY NOT TO SPOIL HIM.
MAKE HIM EARN THOSE GIFTS.
DO YOU STILL HAVE THE RECIEPTS?

ya i still have them and i know
what you r saying....

Rick...teens can be hard but in the end when hes a lil older he will know all you have done for him..I have a teen son myself and I know they can be lazy at times when it comes to house chores..But even though its hard right now you deserve respect and thats what youll get it just might take some time...ill pray that things get better for you and I wish you the best...Maybe you shoud sit down and talk with him let him know what you expect and try and work it out that way..I know once when I told my son he was hurting me with his actions he hadnt realized it and after we talked he really straighted up...its worth a shot anyways...hugs to you

YUP.I AGREE WITH BTTRFLYV2.
EVENTUALLY,THEY GROW OUT OF IT.
I HAD A TALK WITH MY SON TOO,WHEN HE REALIZED HOW HIS ACTIONS MADE ME FEEL...HE CHANGED.

PLUS,HE WAS THE TYPE THAT NEEDED TOUGH LOVE AND DISCIPLINE.
(NOT HITTING OR YELLING.JUST EXPLAINING.)

i'll try any thing.he know's i care
being a dad didn't come with a book
and it's not ez...all i ask for is
alittle respect.and a little help
i work all day, he's out of school
for to weeks for chrismas and just
lay's around and eat's.....

ya i don't believe in hitting or yelling
i grow up to that and that dosen't work.....
it's time for tough love...

SINCE YOU'LL TRY ANYTHING.......
TRY THESE....
REVERSE PHYCOLOGY AND LOVE.

RETURN 'SOME' OF THOSE GIFTS UNTIL HE SHOWS YOU RESPECT
AND EARNS THOSE GIFTS.
BUT,DONT TELL HIM YOUR RETURNING EM`!
HE'LL PROBALY SAY HE DOES'NT CARE.

EVEN IF HE DOES SAY THAT,HE DOES'NT MEAN IT.
IF HE DID'NT CARE,HE WOULD'NT BE THERE.

PLUS,TRY TO SEE HIS POINT OF VIEW TOO.
IT HURTS NOT HAVING THE REAL DAD CARE.
HOW OLD IS HE? 17?

Rick I have been there done that raised two by myself now they are grown. Yes that is a normally thing to go through with teenagers found out from my own son later. He said well hell you pretty much let us do what we wanted to and never made us do those things that is why we did not. Awwwww the Mom wanting to be the kewl Mom and be a friend but seems I forgot I needed to put those rules into effect instead of just telling them I should have made them.

Ya my kids and I are very close to this day son 25 daughter 23 we laugh about those times. Even had my son tell me lately thanks Mom for always standing by me no matter what I did. You always was there I love you. So is it worth it in the end yes.

Now my advice and I did this when my son was around that age. I sat down with him on a one on one told him the way I felt about it all not helping ect. and told him he was allowed to say what ever he wanted to that I was doing wrong or how he felt inside and I would sit there and listen to him and we could work things out. I promised I would not get mad that we needed to work things out because I loved him.

Guess what he had a totally different outlook on things cause I took the time to hear his feelings as well. A lot of them had to do with his dad and feelings of hurt. But hey after that never had to ask him to mow the yard again it was automatic.

It is worth a try an if you say you have told him I must ask but did you listen to him also. Try it you may be surprised.

Also I started taking a weekend at a time were we went out to eat took the kids on different weekend were it was just me and one of them. We made it our day out to go eat there choice of restaurant and to sit and talk and just enjoy maybe take in a show.

At times you know we get lonely well so do they.

Maybe your trying to hard to be his friend.
Dad's have to set the example,enforce the rules, & demand respect in his home.
Tough love is as hard on the parent as the kid, do it with love.
Treat him as an adult & talk to him that way.
Make the rules & DO NOT BACK DOWN.
Made a total difference in my son & he thanks me for it.

Although, my sons are only 10 and 7, before I was divorced, I had a teenage stepdaughter.

If he having a lot of issues like getting kicked out of school, not respecting you and getting into lots of trouble, there might be something bigger going on.

Have you considered a school counselor or professional counseling? He sounds like he is hurting over something. I mean there are some things that are an age thing, but sometimes gets a little more serious.

By the way, kudos to you for taking on a child not blood related so young and raising him.