A young kid playing in the front of the house when his father came home from work, rushed up to him to tell him the news.

Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mummy today.

Really, son, what happened?

I got home from school early today, because the teacher was sick. When I got into the house I could hear Mummy shouting.

What was she shouting, son?

She was shouting, Oh, God, I'm coming. Oh God I'm coming. So, I ran upstairs to make sure she was OK.

She was lying on the bed and I am sure that if it hadn't been for the mailman holding her down, she would have gone to heaven.

Funny .