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| Topic: Depression and Social Phobia support | |
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So i decided to create this topic to help
people with same issues. I hope you're doing just fine :) 
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I am doing fine. The holidays are tougher days than the usual tough days. Nice to see you a place for us to write things. I am Bipolar AF. Hope you are doing fine.
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Yeah..I'm depressed poster child..and hate people..
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Edited by
cleve
on
Fri 12/25/20 08:21 AM
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So i decided to create this topic to help people with same issues. I hope you're doing just fine :) some times when a person is wounded the issues take on a ''life of there own''....one example they become ''favorite feelings'' and emotions....if we can look back to when the first time we where effected that way and now as adult take a look at them we are better able to let go...your not alone everyone has felt the same feelings about themselves and others.... |
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That is a very insightful post, Cleve. I think people do cling to past hurts and feelings. Its quite possible to throw out all that garbage but it takes time and effort. And first it takes realizing that you don't have to react in the same ways over and over. I have broken many long term habits but Its a constant effort. You don't just say I'm over it, you work on it every day.
I'm not a bit depressed over the holidays even though I'm by myself today. I visit friends and talk on the phone, no family so no reason for a get together. Plus the politicians warn we will all die if we have big family meetings, lol Instead of moaning over what we don't have, make a list of all the good things you do have. A few suggestions: You live in a free country and can say what you like, lots of opportunity, no wars going on, no sirens in the night and get under the bed. If you have a job appreciate it even if its not the job you wanted. Are you in good health? That is #1 most important thing, your health is your wealth. You have friends, associates, places to go and things to do. Not everyone has those things, some have none of them |
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That is a very insightful post, Cleve. I think people do cling to past hurts and feelings. Its quite possible to throw out all that garbage but it takes time and effort. And first it takes realizing that you don't have to react in the same ways over and over. I have broken many long term habits but Its a constant effort. You don't just say I'm over it, you work on it every day. I'm not a bit depressed over the holidays even though I'm by myself today. I visit friends and talk on the phone, no family so no reason for a get together. Plus the politicians warn we will all die if we have big family meetings, lol Instead of moaning over what we don't have, make a list of all the good things you do have. A few suggestions: You live in a free country and can say what you like, lots of opportunity, no wars going on, no sirens in the night and get under the bed. If you have a job appreciate it even if its not the job you wanted. Are you in good health? That is #1 most important thing, your health is your wealth. You have friends, associates, places to go and things to do. Not everyone has those things, some have none of them |
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That is a very insightful post, Cleve. I think people do cling to past hurts and feelings. Its quite possible to throw out all that garbage but it takes time and effort. And first it takes realizing that you don't have to react in the same ways over and over. I have broken many long term habits but Its a constant effort. You don't just say I'm over it, you work on it every day. I'm not a bit depressed over the holidays even though I'm by myself today. I visit friends and talk on the phone, no family so no reason for a get together. Plus the politicians warn we will all die if we have big family meetings, lol Instead of moaning over what we don't have, make a list of all the good things you do have. A few suggestions: You live in a free country and can say what you like, lots of opportunity, no wars going on, no sirens in the night and get under the bed. If you have a job appreciate it even if its not the job you wanted. Are you in good health? That is #1 most important thing, your health is your wealth. You have friends, associates, places to go and things to do. Not everyone has those things, some have none of them love is a inside job, we must love ourselves first to be able to love another.....its like ''i am o.k. and your o.k. ''. we do not take the time to get to really know how women think and feel...and women do not either about us ...we are not the same we have different hormones running around in our bodies ...we taken in info differently then process it differently then throw in culture misconceptions .....we must start really listening to each other if this to stop....first we listen for the sense the other is making to themselves and not the sense it makes to us. they are not us...and all allow there opinions and beliefs to stand....there are 2 more steps to this and your connected....later.,.... |
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"first we listen for the sense the other is making to
themselves and not the sense it makes to us" That is an interesting point. What people say in words is not always what they mean or feel. Then there is another level below that. If they say, for example, "you are no good" if you go to the local bar for a beer, what they mean is their daddy used to go out and get drunk then come back and beat the family. So they have a knee jerk reaction to it. They do feel that way but they don't understand why they feel it and don't stop and think that this is a completely different situation. Even when they know its different, the emotions keep coming up. It can take a long time to work through some things Listening is important, people often say things casually that reveal a lot about themselves and they don't even realize they are doing it. And the way they say it of course but the words themselves are often revealing. Just for example, whatever they say they "used to be" is what they still are. Maybe they are working on that character flaw but you can bet it will come up again. Also, whatever they go out of their way to deny... is usually true to some extent. If someone is extremely distrustful, they are usually not to be trusted themselves. I've found that to be true many times. I don't mean a gal not wanting to meet right away, thats normal. Excessive distrust or paranoia after they get to know you means get away fast. Do not try to constantly earn their trust, just leave |
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Edited by
cleve
on
Fri 12/25/20 12:05 PM
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"first we listen for the sense the other is making to themselves and not the sense it makes to us" That is an interesting point. What people say in words is not always what they mean or feel. Then there is another level below that. If they say, for example, "you are no good" if you go to the local bar for a beer, what they mean is their daddy used to go out and get drunk then come back and beat the family. So they have a knee jerk reaction to it. They do feel that way but they don't understand why they feel it and don't stop and think that this is a completely different situation. Even when they know its different, the emotions keep coming up. It can take a long time to work through some things Listening is important, people often say things casually that reveal a lot about themselves and they don't even realize they are doing it. And the way they say it of course but the words themselves are often revealing. Just for example, whatever they say they "used to be" is what they still are. Maybe they are working on that character flaw but you can bet it will come up again. Also, whatever they go out of their way to deny... is usually true to some extent. If someone is extremely distrustful, they are usually not to be trusted themselves. I've found that to be true many times. I don't mean a gal not wanting to meet right away, thats normal. Excessive distrust or paranoia after they get to know you means get away fast. Do not try to constantly earn their trust, just leave see your seeing the sense it makes to you.....MERRY CHRISTMAS |
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Since we are on the subject of depression and mood, I would like to recommend st john's wort. Its an herb, you can get it many places even grocery stores. It lifts your mood and makes you feel better. It doesn't make you high or feel 'too' good or it would be illegal but it makes you feel just good enough to still be legal haha. One cap will help a lot or two if you are feeling way down. I don't take it every day but its nice to have around. Even an angry annoyed feeling gets better on it.
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