You must first play the game.

Finding the love of your life when you are terrified to even talk to a woman is without a doubt, very difficult. Relationship advice that tells you to just “be yourself” is not helpful to the man or woman with low self esteem or who does not know who they are or what they want.

A person must develop their own character, true enough, but they must also practice communication skills, etiquette, manners and respect for others. This takes time and experience. In short, it takes practice.

When you are introduced to someone, what do you say? Do you just say something like, Hi?
Do you maintain eye contact? Do you remember their name?

Have you ever practiced introducing two people who have never met? Have you ever failed to introduce two people who do not know each other while both of them stand there wondering who the other person is? They both know you but if they do not know each other, you should introduce them.

I have often found myself in situations where I did not know the other person and the one who knew us both failed to make an introduction. The thing to do in a case like this is to simply introduce yourself to the person you do not know.

“Hello, my name is _______“ Don’t be afraid to extend your hand for a hand shake even if you are a woman. In these cases, I have found, there was never a time when the person who knew us both did not apologize for not introducing us. They either did it intentionally or else they just did not have the common sense or good manners to do so. This will help them to remember to introduce people in the future.

Before you go out searching for your soul mate, you might think about practicing some common everyday communication skills and manners so you will feel comfortable talking to people. Practice makes perfect.

Being yourself does not work if you think of yourself as God’s gift to women (or men) and act like a jerk. You need to be aware of the impression you make on people. Just keep in mind that if you are considerate and respectful towards others, that is a good start.

it no work for me. i try before. just get slap or drink splash in face.
method suck ball.
sorry

My point exactly. Learn how to communicate. Perfect example of bad communication.

You funny. Language barrier not fun for all.

Jennie, you're close, but not completely on the ball. Yes, it takes developing basic communication skills, but it also takes much more. For men at least, you have to be confident enough in yourself to flirt with her, tease her, "bust her balls" so to speak. But in a way that makes her laugh. There's a name for this: it's called flirting. Every single successful relationship I've ever seen, from my old middle school buddies to my grandparents who've been married for over 50 years, FLIRT with each other. No two ways about it. A relationship that isn't fun won't last.

The practical application of this is that you've got to learn how to be comfortable with saying things that most guys would never say to a woman. I can't tell you how often a guy will playfully insult a pretty girl, and a guy nearby will, trying to be the nice guy and do the right thing, apologize for McDaddy's "behavior." Long story short: McDaddy gets the girl. Always.

Jennie, your analysis sounds an awful lot like the usual advice to "build rapport." This is great in a business situation, but when meeting potential mates, it's best to BREAK it in a way that's cocky, fun and funny. You know it's true..."Hi! My name's John!" *firm handshake and eye contact* doesn't create NEARLY as much *attraction* as someone who *really* knows The Game.

And in the end, attraction isn't a choice, is it? There's no way to logically convince anyone to fall in love with you. Nope...all this operates on an instinctual level, so you've gotta learn to trigger those pre-wired "wow!" mechanisms. Simple as that.

Cheers!
MarsNS

Thank you for the wonderful incite, and you are right of course! Flirting is the next step for sure. But for a person who cannot even function with grace in mixed company it might be hard to suddenly flirt with someone. It would help to first develop a few very natural normal communication skills and feel at least comfortable with that. Sure you can jump right into flirting if you have the courage, but that is a huge step for a shy person who does not have confidence. To build confidence takes time and practice.

Thanks for you input.

Jeannie

Thank you for sharing. Practice...practice...practice

How about a joke of the day instead to make you laugh! That is the best method! lol

Check my profile out and if you like it add yourself as a friend please. Thank you!

This is true. Though I have seen some really hopeless cases get tutelage from a master and literally jump in to the Game in a matter of hours.

Experiment Number One:

I have been studying some techniques in an ebook that I am promoting on my website about relationships and how to attract the right man or woman for you. The ebook I am reading is called "How to be irresistible to men." I have not finished the entire book yet. It speaks about "being yourself" and other things.

In addition to that I am reading a few other things on self improvement, law of attraction etc.

Now since I am selling this product on my website, I decided I should buy it and review it,and maybe even take some of the suggestions in the book. (Call it an experiment.) It required a change of attitude on my part, as I am not really on a hunt for a man. Still, I wanted to see what would happen.

Today I did a test drive on some of the things I learned from the book. I was in a hardware store looking for a wheel for my bed frame. My wheel on the bed frame had gotten bent.

Now normally, I would have just entered the store wearing jeans and a sweat shirt and started searching for the part I needed, found it, bought it and left.

Today, I used a different approach. There were four men in the store. Two customers, and two employees. I had dressed more like a woman wearing a skirt, and had fixed my hair and taken care with my appearance.

I began by speaking (saying hello) to one of the customers at the counter, while holding my gaze to his eyes until he broke his eye contact. The length of my eye contact was ever so slightly longer than I would normally have done.

I showed the bent wheel to the other customer and asked him if he thought it could be bent back in a strait position. He responded that it would probably break if someone tried to do that and suggested I should just get a new one. I agreed. I was still waiting to be helped by a store employee.

Soon the conversation involved all four men. I had not been waited on yet and the man who had told me I should buy a new wheel went off and returned with what I needed. We chatted some more as I bought the part and finally I left the store, thanking them all for their help.

This may sound like nothing to most people, but it was the kind of normal conversation and contact I am talking about when I suggest that you practice interacting and communication skills with the opposite sex, every chance you get and it was a world of difference from the way I would have normally gone into the store to buy something I needed. With the normal way I would have done it, I would not have even been noticed, nor would I have noticed anyone else in the store.

Of course this was not done in an effort to meet a man, it was simply practicing interaction and communication between me and these men. I felt that they noticed me. In fact, it felt as if I had them eating out of the palm of my hand.

This was a practice experiment.

Jeannie