Topic: so let's say hypothetically.....
Lily0923's photo
Sun 02/10/08 09:32 PM

Hey maybe you can talk your ex into moving too.


LMFAO.... you're cute.... "Hey ex-husband I really like this guy that lives a million miles away, it may or may not work out, but would you be willing to leave your really good job and family and friends to follow me to another state to see if I have a future with another man."....you know or something like that....

hikerchick's photo
Sun 02/10/08 09:33 PM


Hey maybe you can talk your ex into moving too.


LMFAO.... you're cute.... "Hey ex-husband I really like this guy that lives a million miles away, it may or may not work out, but would you be willing to leave your really good job and family and friends to follow me to another state to see if I have a future with another man."....you know or something like that....


Exactly! Stranger things have happened. You never know until you ask! flowerforyou

Etrain's photo
Sun 02/10/08 09:33 PM
friends are about all you can be...doesn't that suck though!

hikerchick's photo
Sun 02/10/08 09:34 PM

friends are about all you can be...doesn't that suck though!


that leaves her free for you to swoop in :tongue:

WhiteSox0507's photo
Sun 02/10/08 09:34 PM

you meet someone online who is long distace, and they cannot move and you cannot move, but you spend hours upon hours on the phone, send e-mails ect ect.... but in the end there is no future in the relationship, what do you do?

Do you stay friends knowing there is more to the story, and possible hold yourself back from finding someone else?

Do you cut ties guickly, and hurt, but know that "this too shall pass"?

Do you continue to talk knowing that gloom and doom are eminent?


Been there, done that. Basically, you can hold out as long as you want, but they're going to find someone else and you're going to feel like garbage for awhile. It's up to you how you handle it though.

MirrorMirror's photo
Sun 02/10/08 09:35 PM

Yes he is watch out


devil THERE IS NO PITY IN SIN CITY........devil


uh-oh, the mirror bot

flowerforyou You honeyflowerforyou

Etrain's photo
Sun 02/10/08 09:35 PM


friends are about all you can be...doesn't that suck though!


that leaves her free for you to swoop in :tongue:


Ohhhhh....hmmmm....where do you live anyhow...lololol















hikerchick's photo
Sun 02/10/08 09:36 PM


Yes he is watch out


devil THERE IS NO PITY IN SIN CITY........devil


uh-oh, the mirror bot

flowerforyou You honeyflowerforyou


Oh mirror - will you marry me?

MirrorMirror's photo
Sun 02/10/08 09:40 PM



Yes he is watch out


devil THERE IS NO PITY IN SIN CITY........devil


uh-oh, the mirror bot

flowerforyou You honeyflowerforyou


Oh mirror - will you marry me?
love YES I WILL YOU HONEY.....THERE IS NO PITY IN SIN CITY.devil

no photo
Sun 02/10/08 09:43 PM
not many men are there for there kids and thats a good thing her dad is in her life. She is very blessed to have a father like that. I know because my childrens dad is a deadbeat s.o.b.

zanne46's photo
Sun 02/10/08 09:52 PM
I am so happy to be out of ur shoes...

I now can be were i want and with whom i want...

During the time of my children growing..no man came first..

Except.. my ex....I would never have taken my boys from him...

I gave up for the sake of the ones I loved the most..my sons...

I made a life for myself were it was best for all of us...

I wish u the best...flowerforyou

wilkit's photo
Sun 02/10/08 09:55 PM
I'm with hikerchick, if you both think it'll work you can work something out. Nothing is impossible. Look where I am, got here because of love. Didn't work out but has been an adventure I wouldn't trade.
FFS Go for it you only live once.
Good luckflowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

Lily0923's photo
Mon 02/11/08 04:38 AM

I am so happy to be out of ur shoes...

I now can be were i want and with whom i want...

During the time of my children growing..no man came first..

Except.. my ex....I would never have taken my boys from him...

I gave up for the sake of the ones I loved the most..my sons...

I made a life for myself were it was best for all of us...

I wish u the best...flowerforyou


I do live for her.... and so does her father, we have both made sacrifices for her happiness and to be able to both be as huge of a part of her life without still living under the same roof, however sometimes those lines get shady also.

I care about this man, and I always thought this online dating thing was ridiculous.... well, I guess I still do to an extent. I told him last night that I couldn't talk to him anymore. I do however hope things are serindipitous. Who knows.

Fade2Black's photo
Mon 02/11/08 05:13 AM



Then he "won't" move, not can't. He can make decisions; every state has jobs.

The legal custody order is more of a problem; but even legal orders can be changed.


I would never take my daughter away from her father, he is very involved in her life.

His job is only found in a few states, and mine is not one of them.


eek. Then you are truly in a tough spot. If he is that wonderful, keep him in your life in some capacity; and when your daughter goes away to college you can see if you are both still available..if it is meant to be, it will happen. But I would move on for now.


The one thing you DON'T wanna do is hold on for years waiting. I did that once. Never again.

Good luck hon drinker Things will shake out in the end, but it's YOUR choice of when the 'end' will take place.

Make sense. :tongue:

no photo
Mon 02/11/08 05:55 AM
For me.. nothing at all is impossible. Even though I am faced with a very similar situation right now.

Many of you know I was offered a position here in Oregon, working for a fantastic organization, doing some really good work in the community on a social level, yet also using my area of skill. Not a mix I see every day, and compelling enough to have me shut my doors on the business I have been running for 10 years. This job pays exceptionally well and can be pretty life changing.

If it were not for some delays on their end in getting started...I'd be moved and working with them full time by now.

Then.. I meet a woman who lives 2000+ miles away.. who can be pretty life changing in her own right. So I am looking to find a position there too. Her custody agreement is very similar to lilly's.

Somewhere in there is a solution.

If I do except the job here... We will be able to afford the transportation cost and time away from our respective careers to travel to see each other. We will also have the liquidity to hire a good Attorney in an effort to change the custody agreement and allow us more possibilities. So.. if anything..it will just slow us down some. Considering there is a lifetime to play with.. I'm pretty sure we could work it out.

If it does not work out here... I can work from anywhere. Even if I don't find a lucrative position there... I have clients all along the Eastern Seaboard, any where there is a seaport who I could really afford to get back in touch with. Ohio is a better jumping off point then Oregon, in that effort.

I won't pretend to know exactly how this is going to work out. I do know however... that if we are patient, open to compromise, and both want it to work out... it can.

no photo
Mon 02/11/08 06:06 AM

.... Then.. I meet a woman who lives 2000+ miles away.. flowerforyou flowerforyou who can be pretty life changing in her own right. flowerforyou flowerforyou

.... So.. if anything..it will just slow us down some. Considering there is a lifetime to play with.. I'm pretty sure we could work it out.

....I won't pretend to know exactly how this is going to work out. I do know however... that if we are patient, open to compromise, and both want it to work out... it can.


And Lilith should be swooning right about now....what a guy.
Now about that brother....laugh ohwell

Nice to meet you Jist!

no photo
Mon 02/11/08 06:10 AM

you meet someone online who is long distace, and they cannot move and you cannot move, but you spend hours upon hours on the phone, send e-mails ect ect.... but in the end there is no future in the relationship, what do you do?

Do you stay friends knowing there is more to the story, and possible hold yourself back from finding someone else?

Do you cut ties guickly, and hurt, but know that "this too shall pass"?

Do you continue to talk knowing that gloom and doom are eminent?


As for you Miss Lily...you are in a tough spot, there's much to be said for enjoying the moment if you have that strong of connection...but if you feel that you have reached 'that next level' and there's no compromise, then follow your heart. I feel for you...good luck flowerforyou

no photo
Mon 02/11/08 06:16 AM

Now about that brother....laugh ohwell


You'd be better off pretending that my brother was raised by wolves.:tongue:

Lily0923's photo
Mon 02/11/08 06:34 AM


Now about that brother....laugh ohwell


You'd be better off pretending that my brother was raised by wolves.:tongue:


haha I love a wild man....laugh laugh

zanne46's photo
Mon 02/11/08 06:44 AM


I am so happy to be out of ur shoes...

I now can be were i want and with whom i want...

During the time of my children growing..no man came first..

Except.. my ex....I would never have taken my boys from him...

I gave up for the sake of the ones I loved the most..my sons...

I made a life for myself were it was best for all of us...

I wish u the best...flowerforyou


I do live for her.... and so does her father, we have both made sacrifices for her happiness and to be able to both be as huge of a part of her life without still living under the same roof, however sometimes those lines get shady also.

I care about this man, and I always thought this online dating thing was ridiculous.... well, I guess I still do to an extent. I told him last night that I couldn't talk to him anymore. I do however hope things are serindipitous. Who knows.


Forgot to say Lily..when i made the life for me..it involved a man.....6 wonderful yrs....

Just an hour away from my sons dad...

Worked out wonderfully...

My best to u

U will have a life outside of motherhood...it willl happen...

flowerforyou flowerforyou :smile: