100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Should i feel this way | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
Sorry to hear that cheating is never acceptable!! but if your married , what are you doing on a dating site? I came on here after she filed divorce papers, one of my friends told me about it. And if you look at my preferences and my posts i was mainly looking for an activity partner. Nothing more. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I totally agree I would want to know if that was taking place behind my back, when trust is gone out of a relationship there is no relationship!! I am truly sorry that this happened to you not once but twice...ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER!!!!
Just remember not all woman are like that so don't shut down completely. Best of luck...Jenn!! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I totally agree I would want to know if that was taking place behind my back, when trust is gone out of a relationship there is no relationship!! I am truly sorry that this happened to you not once but twice...ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER!!!! Just remember not all woman are like that so don't shut down completely. Best of luck...Jenn!! I won't shut down, i was raised to kill people with kindness. I told her i'd still be there to help her financially and i'm not going to be a jerk to her. But i asked if there were anymore guys because frankly i know one of the guys is bi...so i'm making a trip to the Doctor pretty soon..ya know |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I totally agree I would want to know if that was taking place behind my back, when trust is gone out of a relationship there is no relationship!! I am truly sorry that this happened to you not once but twice...ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER!!!! Just remember not all woman are like that so don't shut down completely. Best of luck...Jenn!! Once a cheater always a cheater. 100% correct!!! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I personally feel that EVERYONE deserves to hear the truth. No matter if it hurts or not. thank you, that's what i thought too. needless to say we are in the process of a divorce...it's not the first time she's cheated on me...i forgave her the first time(over 4 years ago) not doing it again. Can't take it. sorry to hear that. once a cheater, always a cheater. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Actually I wish people would have told me about my ex husband before they did and I would have filed for divorce sooner! Why is it that people wait and tell you after you file? They came to me and said, well since you are getting a divorce...I might as well tell you this now!
I think you made the right choice, now she has to decide what to do with the news she recieved. How she handles it is really up to her, but I am sure after this she won't be able to trust him. I have to agree, I hope you know that not all women cheat!! I know its going to be hard for you not to put up a guard, I still find myself doing that. I wish you luck on finding what you are looking for  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I totally agree I would want to know if that was taking place behind my back, when trust is gone out of a relationship there is no relationship!! I am truly sorry that this happened to you not once but twice...ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER!!!! Just remember not all woman are like that so don't shut down completely. Best of luck...Jenn!! I won't shut down, i was raised to kill people with kindness. I told her i'd still be there to help her financially and i'm not going to be a jerk to her. But i asked if there were anymore guys because frankly i know one of the guys is bi...so i'm making a trip to the Doctor pretty soon..ya know This part confuses me. She filed papers in November...but you've still been together? Or you just recently decided it's time to visit a doctor? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Actually I wish people would have told me about my ex husband before they did and I would have filed for divorce sooner! Why is it that people wait and tell you after you file? They came to me and said, well since you are getting a divorce...I might as well tell you this now! I think you made the right choice, now she has to decide what to do with the news she recieved. How she handles it is really up to her, but I am sure after this she won't be able to trust him. I have to agree, I hope you know that not all women cheat!! I know its going to be hard for you not to put up a guard, I still find myself doing that. I wish you luck on finding what you are looking for because people don't like to get involved and don't want to be the cause of a break up ORRR there's the other way it goes... your friend tells you and then you don't believe them, you stay with your other half and hate your friend for telling you. that's the norm anyway. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The key word here is SHOULD?
There is and old joke about "shoulding all over yourself" but it isn't funny if it makes you unhappy or you generaly doesn't pass the smell test. That is something you have to determin for yourself in my book. Lot of people can try to tell you but if you don't own it then they are wasteing their breath. Did you tell her for her benifit or your own? Where you just a little bit "crazy";in shock so to speak? Or denial? My basic premis is it is VERY rare that a spouse has "no clue". Problems rarely occur in a vacume. That said you can NOT take responsibility for the CHOICE your spouse made to cheat. What you CAN CHOOSE is how you react to it. Will it be with hysteria, bitterness, spreading the misery OR grace, acceptance, and courage to keep moving forward? No one will be heroic every moment in the face or such painful an experience so I would just try to do the best you can. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
isaac_dede
on
Mon 02/11/08 08:16 PM
|
|
I totally agree I would want to know if that was taking place behind my back, when trust is gone out of a relationship there is no relationship!! I am truly sorry that this happened to you not once but twice...ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER!!!! Just remember not all woman are like that so don't shut down completely. Best of luck...Jenn!! I won't shut down, i was raised to kill people with kindness. I told her i'd still be there to help her financially and i'm not going to be a jerk to her. But i asked if there were anymore guys because frankly i know one of the guys is bi...so i'm making a trip to the Doctor pretty soon..ya know This part confuses me. She filed papers in November...but you've still been together? Or you just recently decided it's time to visit a doctor? no when i got back from deployment she said she didn't want to be together anymore and went on vacation in her home town. Then she came back and still didn't file for awhile. I just found out that when she was on vacation she slept with these guys. And yes even recenlty she was coming over saying she was sorry and that she feels bad that it didn't work...i didn't know about these other guys so i was being there for her as much as i could. I know i'm a glutton for punishment |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The key word here is SHOULD? There is and old joke about "shoulding all over yourself" but it isn't funny if it makes you unhappy or you generaly doesn't pass the smell test. That is something you have to determin for yourself in my book. Lot of people can try to tell you but if you don't own it then they are wasteing their breath. Did you tell her for her benifit or your own? Where you just a little bit "crazy";in shock so to speak? Or denial? My basic premis is it is VERY rare that a spouse has "no clue". Problems rarely occur in a vacume. That said you can NOT take responsibility for the CHOICE your spouse made to cheat. What you CAN CHOOSE is how you react to it. Will it be with hysteria, bitterness, spreading the misery OR grace, acceptance, and courage to keep moving forward? No one will be heroic every moment in the face or such painful an experience so I would just try to do the best you can. thank you, that is very sound advice that makes a lot of sense to me. Thanx |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Just for the record...the first time a partner cheated on me they would be HISTORY. You put that message on the table from the get go no need to feel bad when it gets applied.
I always bought into the concept that Being forgiving is one thing... Being a fool is another, Or in other words... Fool me once shame on you... Fool me twice shame on me. Giving anyone the chance to put your life at risk, and all candy coating stipped away, that is what your Cheater has done to you, is something you must stop or the responsibility for the results are your own. Hopefully you will be given a second chance. PLEASE stack the odds in your favor by seeing that doctor IMMEDIATELY. |
|
|
|
|
