I was engaged for three years with the Mother of my son. We split in
February. I know now that we weren't meant to be together and I honestly
don't want or even miss her. (once in a while I miss" the good times")
My problem is that I'm still very depressed about losing my family. I
had everything I wanted and poof it's gone. She was able to move on so
fast. Met her new boyfriend within a month. At first that hurt alot,
like I never meant anything to her. Now I just wanna be able to move on
like she did. I really don't wanna sound weak, but it's how I feel
sometimes. So I guess I'm looking for som advice on how to try again
without having to keep my guard up to high. I want to trust someone, but
I don't want my love to be thrown away again. That shit hurts, and I
can't afford to be depressed anymore.I can't let my depression affect my
life anymore like it has been. Anybody got the solution?

if you still have your son with you...pour your love into bringing him
up in this world...

focus on him...

this will help your pain go to the back burner,
put your son first!

when you do this,the rest will just fall into place...M.

Well Gooddad04...

You're a good man and you are NOT weak for showing you're true emotions
to us or anybody else around you.

That's NORMAL emotional response that you are telling us about.

Sure! not everyone here is going to maybe respond to you're topic in
kind. While most will think of you're words as nothing..just so long as
THEY feel good about themselves.

You're a good person inside and out.

You're True Colors Will Always Shine Threw and Threw Man...

Best of luck to you in The Future...You will do just fine!

Follow you're heart and stay true to those that love and care for you're
feelings as a person that you are. Surround yourself by those that make
you happy and blessed. ^_^

I don't have all of the answers for you...this is true!

But I and others here who care about how you feel should be have you're
full attention for you're responses to our answers.

GOODDAD......YES!!!!!

JUST WHAT YOUR DOING!!!! TALKING, MEETING FOLKS HERE,
AND SHARING TIME ON THIS MACHINE WITH FRIENDS YOU COME TO
MAKE HERE....AND IF ANY OF THEM ARE FEMALE,,EVEN 'BETTER'
BUT, IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD ALWAYS WANT ANYONE HERE TO
PROVE TO ME THAT THEIR POSTED PIC, MATCHES ANOTHER PIC, THAT
THEY HAVE ON THEIR PROFILE OR ONE THEY COULD SEND YOU..
I HAVE MET ALOT OF FAKE LADIES HERE,,AND, NO ONE LOOKING
FOR A REAL CARING PERSON, "NEEDS A FAKE ONE"...
SO ENJOY, AND IF YA NEED A EAR?? EMAIL ME.. I WILL TALK
TO ALL AND ANY...LOL HAVE A NICE WEEKEND!!!!

ok well idk that you will ever get past the feeling of mising her or
wanting her and I am sure that the memories will never go away cause I
loved my husband but I made him leave cause I fell out of love with him
but I do still love to a point. but to move on it is ok to have your
gard up some what at least that is what I think so you don't jump back
in so fast. but just get to talk to someone or a few ppl and then get
to know them and I think when you fine the one you connect with you can
move on I know she is out there for you. I also have kids to go through
this with so I know it is hard but you will get through it Iknow you can

when i find the answer to this question , i will gladly answer it! till
then i'll just keep hoping and loving ! and having a ball with all the
wonderful ppl on this site!

thanks for all the kind words everybody I really appreciate it. Michael,
you're absolutely rite. I pour all of my love into my son. He's worth
every bit of it.He's why I wake up every day. I just know I have alot
more love to offer the rite woman, but I can't find her.

I WILL SAY THIS, IT SEEMS LIKE THE WOMEN WILL FALL FOR A DUDE
WITH A CHILD ALOT MORE FASTER, THAN A DUDE WILL EXCEPT A WOMAN
WITH A CHILD, SO YOU DO HAVE A GOOD CHANCE TO FIND ONE.
AND I LIVE FOR TWO YEARS OF HAVING MY TWO BOYS AS A SINGLE DAD.
AND I MET A LADY WHO HAD A DAUGHTER, AND ARE KIDS PLAYED TOGETHER AND WE
THEN FELL IN-LOVE AND GOT MARRIED.
SO MY KIDS REALLY KIND-OF HELPED THAT FRIENDSHIP TO BLOOM..LOL

yes gooddad I have all 3 of my kids with me and it helps alot I am not
really lonely either don't have time to be. I have dated and it's
nice to go out now and then. If you really want to get over her or the
dark lonely void that you feel, dating seems to help also, don't jump
into a relationship by no means. People that jump into a relationship
for fear of being alone or whatever reason and they wind up getting hurt
over and over again, so sorry for her because she prob will be destined
to a life of lonliness and meaningless relationships, if that's what she
did, which sure sounds like it.

also I can't help but ask why did you have such a long engagement?
none of my business, but seems like a very long one in todays world, but
then again marriages don't last and poor children are growing up in a
lifestyle that was never meant to be.

Ya know what, I wrote it wrong Mike. We were together three years,
engaged for a little over a year.

Keep being a good DAD and your day will be filled with love.

Meeting new women can be as easy or hard as you make it. GET OUT THERE
and look around. The potential is everywhere you go except HOME.

Depression is often related to grief/bereavement. Here are the five
stages of grief:

01.) Denial (this isn't happening to me!)

02.) Anger (why is this happening to me?)

03.) Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)

04.) Depression (I don't care anymore)

05.) Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

Determine if depression is where you are really at in the scenario of
your life. Here are the 10 question to ask for depression:


01.) Do you feel sad, blue, unhappy or "down in the dumps"?

02.) Do you feel tired, having little energy, unable to concentrate?

03.) Do you feel uneasy, restless or irritable?

04.) Do you have trouble sleeping or eating (too little or too much)?

05.) Do you feel that you are not enjoying the activities that you
used to?

06.) Do you feel that you lost interest in sex or experiencing sexual
difficulties?

07.) Do you feel that it takes you longer than before to make
decisions or unable to concentrate?

08.) Do you feel inadequate, like a failure or that nobody likes you
anymore?

09.) Do you feel guilty without a rational reason, or put yourself
down?

10.) Do you feel that things always go or will go wrong no matter how
hard you try?

If you answer YES to more than three of these question then you probably
need counciling to help you move on. I know men do not like to hear
that but it is true and can help you get to a place where you can feel
good about yourself again and therefore help you be a better DAD too.

Just my OHpinion.

Best Wishes,

Verb

darling don't go looknig for the right one. just be you. when the right
one is there you'll know it.She'll more or less find you. you've already
started moving on which is why your here babe. As for your son keep
loving him with everything you got and remember the right one will too.

nice iceprincess that's my thought's exactly I believe God will
deliver the woman he wants me to have no need to go looking

i stopped looking a long time ago i figured when it happens it does.
when your actively looking you put to many expectations on everybody you
meet. it's no longer fun it becomes a chore. as for moving on time is
the only tool for that and if good takes it one day at a time gets
himself involved in other things and focuses on his baby boy before long
he'll realize she doesn't matter much anymore and that the right girl is
right in front of him so to speak

YEP!!!!!!! WELL SAID FIRE....OH, SORRY.LOL I MEAN ICE.LOL

trying to melt my ass darling.LOL

WELL, A KISS MAYBE BUT A MELT DOWN MIGHT TAKE AWHILE, LOL...

Like everyone has pretty much said, take your time with healing.
Reserve your energies in raising your son. You won't notice it at
first, but each day will be a little better, a few months from now you
won't feel the pain as deeply as you do now. Give yourself time to
re-group, (for a choice of better words). Look around, but not to hard,
someone above said it best... you'll find all the wrong ppl in looking
hard and fast. My relationship lasted 16yrs, 13 of those being married.
After being divorced 7 yrs, we have become friends again in the last
couple. Good luck to you... you seem to have made good friends here.

I knew I had to change my emotional state of mind, so I changed my
surroundings.. changed the radio staion from rock to country, completely
changed my bedroom.. lol, white carpet, and white comforter on the bed,
silk pink roses everywhere. I loved it !!! he would have hated it, but
it kept my mind thinking in the right direction.. I just made alot of
changes in my surroundings so I wasn't still stuck with seeing "him"
everywhere I looked.