same here and when I go out it's on the weekends they are at their dads .... my kids don't see the guy I'm dating

question how is supporting your kids getting robbed

The above statement doesn't quite match with the rest of what you had to say....Your boyfriend is abusing your son?...that you didn't explain....but if that is how you think & feel then show him the Exit door and move on....

I think it is the ex who was abusive, and that is why she left him, not the B/F.

You know the wrong women. Alot of women are NOT money hungry with men. I am one of those women.

Also, just because a person is low income doesn't mean that they don't deserve to know the love of a child.

This whole thing makes no sense at all

Remember, always two sides to a story

Also, what hasnt the OP been back? If you looking for advice, stay in your thread

thanks Lilbug, i was definitely confused by her post...

I don't think you were alone...Y/W!!

She was probably upset and had typos--no spellchecker possibly, welcome to my world. Whatever you need to get and stay away from that man. Anyone who would abuse you or your son is not worth a second try. He sounds like he needs anger management classes or theraphy and to accept his own obligations. I'm generally not a violent person, but God help anyone who would harsely put their hands on my child!


As for the two sides to a story I used to think that, too. It takes both to make a relationship work, but only one to destroy it.

Sunshine. That can so go both ways. Not all women need a man with money, cause they make their own, support their kids even without the support of the fathers.
You have no idea how many times i was approached with the hindside that they were going to profit from my income. pfft.
My philosophy: Be able to hold your own.


edit: not all women have more then one child or more then one father for their children.

i think i am going to get in trouble for this but i am goin to say anywho. i think he is right about the most stable person should have the children. i don't have a child but i don't like the fact that child support exists for greedy people. i understand that it is needed in few cases. that is what rubbers are made for(birth control) why have a kid if you can't afford it.

Okay first off I was married for 14 years to my childrens father. During those 14 years, my son and I dealt with the abuse. We left because we could not take anymore of it.

It was to the point where my son was thinking of hurting himself because of his father. So we left.

I just dont understand that because the guy I was seeing, was having problems with his ex wife about the support, that it had to be taking out on me. I am not a money hungry person. I have a job and work. No, right now I am struggling but, use the support I get for the kids to get them clothes, school supplies, etc. I do not go out and get my nails done, hair done, by myself things with the money. I am working on getting a better job and better place to live but it takes time for some of us to get there.

I may have done somethings to make the guy I was seeing upset but I said sorry and explained why.

He bashes me for getting the support and the way I live and that is okay?

Child support is used for the child's expenses, including food, shelter, clothing and educational needs. They take a percentage of your rent or mortgage payment into consideration for the shelter part. Education also includes after school care and summer camp costs. Clothing includes sneakers and winter coats. Expenses cover a portion of your electric, heat, water etc. Keeping the TV on all night or using the computer all day...it also sometimes includes a portion of health insurance costs. It is a based on a percentage of what both parents make. If the woman has custody but makes more than her ex then the payment would be lower than if the man made more. If they both make about the same they go by the percentage number.

Money hungry? What women do you hang with? I don't need a guy's $$ .. and a lot of women don't nowdays. We have good jobs and support ourselves. Geesh I made more than my ex husband, AND most of the guys I've dated in the last 4 years.

Times, they are a changin ..................

Totally agree with that .... random guys don't need to be in my children's lives unless I am really serious. Divorce is hard enough on children, let alone dating.

I don't understand women who allow their children around men until things get serious...that's a recipe for disaster...

Is it greedy to want the best for a child? To keep the child's standard of living near the same level as two married people on two incomes like before the divorce? Sheesh.

Yep, that's greedy to want for your child.... news flash i suppose....

Thank you to all of you for letting me vent. Its nice to see each persons opinion on the matter. I am feeling better and moving on.

Glad to be able to talk somewhere where, you are not judged.

Seeya,
Erica:)

This I totally agree with, but one can only hope that the Parent receiving the support money IS using it correctly, I know a few that do get their nails and hair done, buy a new suit, so on..... Not every every parent does it the way it should be done