I am a role model for people of all ages, often found writing my own biographies and bare foot water skiing. I am usually found feeding the homeless on my breaks. I translate for the FBI in thirteen different languages. I mastered the art of the blue whale mating call, while on vacation in North Korea. I have been known to woo women with my sensuous and masterful harmonica playing. I blow gum in the shape of squares. I am an expert masonry, a professional baker, and a wanted refugee in Swithzerland. I can swallow swords, walk on flaming coals, and dunk on a twelve foot hoop. I scribe for the president, bake Thirty-Minute Cupcakes in twenty minutes, and manage my time efficiently. I have spent three months unravelling the secrets of the whisper, while teaching a yoga class on weekends. I maneuver my unicycle down a sixty degree decline for my morning work out. Using only a sewing needle and a glass of fresh water, I once single-handedly fended off a large group of bull shark from a baby hippopotamus. I was scouted by the Harlem Globe Trotters, I am found in the dictionary under the word simple, and can play six instruments at once. When I get bored I create large roller coasters in my yard for neighborhood kids. I am an expert outdoorsman, I own a wing-suit, and I enjoy extreme hang gliding. After I finish with my studies I fix children’s toys for orphans.I am an expert in modern art, a movie reviewer, and an incredible cook. Critics all over the world write of my blueberry dumplings. I model for Prada in my spare time. My friends wear my original line of corduroy scarfs, and cardigans. I am never at a loss of words. People say I am the most interesting man in the world. I have received gifts for being the third caller more times than I can remember. My teachers come to me for advice on their own subjects. I don’t perspire. My fan box is always full. My decadent fruit salads have earned me a spot on Emeril Lagasse’s speed dial.I have the trust of the Secret Service. I am the most accurate person in the world with a sling shot. I once read Moby Dick, The Lord of The Rings set, and Webster's Dictionary in one day and still had time to remodel my bathroom that evening. When I do sleep its with one eye open reading Paradise Lost. While on vacation to Cuba, I talked four men out of jumping to their death. We are now friends on Facebook. The laws of physics do not apply to me.A week ago I figured out the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I can make a gourmet five course meal in an EasyBake oven. I competed in Ninja Warrior, got a web success on tosh.0, and wrote my friends thesis on molecular physics with ease. I am the reigning world champion at the Russian pancake flipping competition in Rome. I ride a pet sea turtle instead of a Jazzy Power Chair. I can hurl small objects with deadly accuracy. I found the end of Pi. When I get stressed with life I participate in full-contact pumpkin carving tournaments. I dodge, I throw, and I punish in every game of dodgeball. I knit, I write, I sing, and my payments are never missed. I am known for my world class breeding of mini horses. I was an actor on Broadway, I did my own knee surgery, and I toured the city of Atlantis. I have what they call “the eye of the tiger.”