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What NOT To Do - 7 Things to Ruin a First Date

What NOT To Do - 7 Things to Ruin a First Date! First dates can be a delicate event in the life of dating. It's essentially two people, who don't quite know each other well, get together to see how compatible they are. From a women's perspective, first dates are a way to analyze how well a man can handle himself – Is he shy and reserved? Is he overly confident and obnoxious? Is he calm and collected? Let's face it, the pressure is usually on the men so knowing what NOT to do on a first date is the key to getting to the second date. Here are some obvious DON'Ts that I'm not going to include in the top 7 list because it's almost a given of what NOT to do on a first date. It's definitely worth mentioning just in case you've forgotten. ;-) Don't be late. Like I said, pretty obvious, right? Being late on a first date gives off the first wrong impression that your date wasn't worth being on time for. Practicing your “fashionably-late” charm is not going to work this time so be on time. Don't be a slob. Take the time in grooming yourself. Proper hygiene is one the biggest complaints from women on first dates with men. Take a shower, do your hair, shave, brush your teeth, and dress smart. I don't mean dressing nerd-smart, but I do mean dress to impress – not necessarily a tuxedo, but maybe some fashionable jeans, a nice button-up shirt, and a blazer. You want her to go Ooh-La-La over you, wear something nice on a first and she'll take notice. A woman likes a man who looks like he has control over his life. Don't lie. Or over embelish your talents. Don't say that you have a God-given talent of being a chef, when in reality you can only "cook" grilled cheese sadwiches. The truth will come out eventually and all the time you spent building up to a certain point will all just have been in vain. Let’s get on to the less obvious DON’Ts of a first date. DON'T GET DRUNK. There's a big difference between having a couple of cocktails and getting drunk. Limit yourself to having one or two cocktails during dinner. I'm a big proponent of breaking the nerves with a couple of drinks, but don’t over do it. Cocktails are a good way to help loosen up the tension of meeting a new person (for both you and your date) and miraculously it also help gets the conversion going. Too many drinks tend to bring the obnoxious out in everyone. DON'T ANSWER YOUR CELL PHONE. Unless of an emergency of course. Talking or texting on your cell phone while on a date is a big NO-NO. Answering calls or texts while on a date doesn't make you look cool and popular, it makes you look rude and uninterested. If YOUR date is on the phone all the time, politely call him/her on it - your date will appreciate your confidence on that. If they continue to be on the phone after you've asked them nicely not to, then maybe that person just isn't the one for you... And that's part of the dating process because you'll have to go through some WRONG people before you meet the RIGHT person. DON'T TALK ABOUT YOURSELF TOO MUCH. Don't brag about how much money you make or what kind of car you drive. Instead, ask questions and listen to your date. Try to create conversation based on the questions and answers she talks to you about. Keep the conversation simple and light-hearted. Try not having debates about religion and politics. Sometimes a mysterious man can be more attractive so don't give away your deep emotional secrets on a first date. The fastest way to a second date is not how much money you make; it's more about listening and giving your date the undivided attention he/she deserves. DON'T "GO HR" ON THEM. What I mean by that is, this is a date, not a job interview. The opposite of talking about yourself too much is asking too many Human Resource questions about your date. Avoid asking too many personal questions and just let the conversation flow without too many technical details. DON'T BE CHEAP. Call me old fashioned but I believe on the first date, a man should pay for dinner. It's gentlemanly and it'll show you're the kind of man that'll take care of her. For the ladies, men always appreciate if you offer to pay (eventhough he knows he's going to pay) - it's polite and makes it feel like you're not out to just get a free meal. DON'T-DON'T-DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR EX. This is probably the most important DON'T advice for a first date. There's no need to share details about your ex or your divorce during the first - there just isn't. If the subject does come up, briefly bring up the good things about your ex so that your character will show that you're not ill-fated towards them. There's a time and place when you'll have to talk about your ex, your first date isn't that time and place. DON'T PRESSURE THE KISS. I think this is where most men fumble. To kiss or to kiss too much? Unless she's giving you very obvious signals, don't rush the kiss. If you make your move too early, she might get defensive and it'll ruin the atmosphere. So what's appropriate? A handshake, a hug, a kiss? Handshakes on a first date are so impersonal; the least that should happen at the end of a first date is a hug and a nice kiss on the cheek. The best that could happen, well… I'll leave that up to your imagination. ;-) So now you know what NOT to do on a first date. It's quite simple: Give your date your undivided attention and make them feel comfortable. Do you have any first date DON'Ts that you've experienced? Share and leave us a comment on this blog post.

19 comments

• Hot1981 wrote on 11/21/2010
  I was on another dating site in Las Vegas a couple of years ago,and I was contacted by this 43 year old lady that did not have pics on her profile(BIG MISTAKE). SHE SAID THAT SHE LOOKED LIKE BEYONCE.Long story short, we agreed to meet after 2 weeks of talking online.I CAME TO HER APARTMENT,AND SHE CAME OUT LOOKING LIKE E.T.;WTF! FEMALES,DO NOT LIE ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK!!!
• Randy wrote on 11/23/2010
  @ Hot1981. Profiles withOUT pics are usually a sign that they might have insecurities about how they look. If someone is really interested in meeting people through online dating then there should be no reason they wouldn't have a profile pic. Almost everyone has a digital camera on their cell phone nowadays. Even a cell phone pic would suffice. Thanks for the comment.
• rawrnerd wrote on 11/25/2010
  @Hot1981 ... um males shouldn't lie about how they look either!
• markecephus wrote on 12/01/2010
  Profile photos are very important. Let's use a sort of an analogy here. Would you be interested in talking to someone you barely know, and have never seen? I suspect not. It is a given, that profiles with photos receive ten times the views. Without a photo, you are exempt from mutual match. Let's face it, folks, people are more prone to window shop, than read the classifieds in the local newspaper. Makes sense, Right? Upload that pic, and increase your chances of finding that significant other. Best of luck! Mark
• neda10cion wrote on 12/05/2010
  I have a few to add to the 7 things NOT to do on a first date. Make sure the date knows what you look like if you are meeting for the first time at a restaurant. Once I was excited about meeting this man. His profile was impressive and he looked very appealing. I came in the restaurant and looked and looked and finally someone raised his hand. As I walked closer and closer, it was my date and he must have weighed 300#. Another way to ruin a first date is rubbing my arms, putting your arm around me, like in a visa. Too much, when I don't even know you. A real turnoff. A kiss on the cheek should be it. If you feel there is chemistry on your part, I would wait to see if he mentions it or calls, to see if he felt there was chemistry.
• MichaelAnthony1987 wrote on 12/06/2010
  and smell really good!
• gummykiss wrote on 12/07/2010
  -Don't ask your date if they want to see a picture of the expensive engagement ring you bought your ex when you were still together. -Don't put your cell phone on vibrate, put it on silent since I will probably be able to feel it vibrate when you're sitting next to me. -If you're a smoker, say so. Your car WILL give you away no matter how much you clean it. -Be honest, because I will remember everything you said, and when you least expect it I will bring it up again. -Don't ask your date if they give BJ's, this is highly offensive, and although she might laugh it off, don't be surprised if you never hear from her again. =) Have Fun!
• Kumarkoli wrote on 12/19/2010
  I did first dating with one girl with 7 comments than............smell is good.I AM HAPPY.........Thanks to Mingle2Blog
• Kumarkoli wrote on 12/19/2010
  I did first dating with one girl with 7 comments than............smell is good.I AM HAPPY.........Thanks to Mingle2Blog
• 1moretryagain wrote on 02/05/2011
  uh how come its only about what the guy shouldn't do? I'm old fashioned but if my date goes for the tab I prefer to share if he or she insists I ask to leave the tip. My experience is that if women want to be treated equally then I treat them equally and expect the same. None of my wifes ever worked and the one that divorced me took advantage of my trust. After that my feeling lets be modern not old fashioned and taken advantage of. I dont trust anyone any more because today that's out of vogue. Its too bad those that follow have to pay for the actions of others. But I've been taken advantage of by being trusting and old fashioned. We start as equal and how we end is up to both.
• paks1989 wrote on 02/09/2011
  nabody is doking white me:)
• emily_house wrote on 03/18/2011
  good advice
• bakahead wrote on 04/23/2011
  Dont' eat something that has a strong aroma like garlic or onions, because the girl may not want to kiss you if you have garlic or onion breath. Breath mints don't cover up the smell of garlic or onions.
• LadyT84 wrote on 05/21/2011
  Once I was on a date and a guy kept texting during the whole date.I thought that was so rude.I said I was giving him a look.I wonder why?(sarcasm)
• Uselessknowledge wrote on 06/02/2011
  Went on a date, her picture was totally different. I didn't say anything about it and was nice even though she texted.. she seemed like she went through a few relationship issues in the past and may be depressed. I hate hurting people's feelings .. what should I do
• LeoGirl20 wrote on 08/21/2011
  When your on a date with your guy/gal make sure that you be yourself and have confidence in yourself. No one likes a fake.
• boldporn wrote on 09/21/2011
  dont tell her you dont like to eat, HUGE TURN OFF
• ScottBaker wrote on 10/15/2011
  Rule 5: This is an outdated concept. Archaic misnomer and a relic of a bygone age... If you agree to meet for lunch, dinner, It's 'Dutch', If you invite somebody out to lunch or dinner, whoever invites, pays. If I agree to meet somewhere for a coffee or dinner, I insist on paying separately. Be smart and tell the waiter/waitress that you are ready for your bills (plural). Set the tone of the relationship from the stat that you are not a doormat, meal ticket etc. I expect no more than a decent conversation and I choose my own meal and pay for it. I consider it a very bad indication if a girl automatically presumes that she will be fed for free. Gentlemanly good natured manners are in no way marred by not paying for the other person's meal. Has anyone had their meal paid for by the female? I doubt it. Equality is a beautiful thing... enjoy it. Gauge her reaction. If she looks put out, even if I picked her up from her home, she'll be in a taxi on the way back I can assure you. There's no harm in it. Some women have three or four dates a week! It's like how some guys offer a girl a drink. I get around this by suggesting 'shall we go get drinks? Women will rarely get the next round so I'll invite them to accompany me to the bar and order my own and for the brief moment that the bar steward is serving me, I am an island... she knows what she wants to drink and she can pay for it too! So many people have this outdated notion that they must spend their hard earned money just for the company of this person. Given that in Australia, you only need to have dated a girl for 3 months and they have a legal right to strip you of half your possessions, do you really want anything more than a few dates anyway? Hell no! Be smart! Offer to cook for them, it's cheaper than paying for your meal in the restaurant already, you don't have to tip anyone and if they don't like your cooking, suggest that next time they can cook for you instead. It's only 'free' if you invite somebody to your house for you to cook for them or vice versa... Make the most of it. In fact, be sporting and as you order your meal, place the exact change on the table for your own meal and don't say a word XD
• Nurseprr1 wrote on 01/26/2012
  The last man I met for brunch, was sweet and nice, untill He told me he had advanced Prostate Cancer, " but I can do what ever everyone else can do." I backed up fast..not from the Cancer , but just too much before we even got to know one another.