How dating my ex was like playing DOOM II on nightmare mode

DOOM II - A Love Story

I want to begin by saying I had options:  I could have chosen an easier difficulty level, even ultra-violence would have worked.  There are plenty of nice, moderately sane girls out there who I could have dated.  But no, I willingly chose nightmare mode.  I went for the unstable, completely batshit-crazy girl who taught me what it truly means to experience Hell on Earth. The Honeymoon Phase It starts out fun.  I’m running around killing shotgun guys and everything is cool.   I’ve got a chainsaw and a boomstick and everything is going my way.  She knows I’ve got my own thing going on and respects my independence.  I’m having so much fun, I wish I could play this forever !

DOOM II – You had me at ROAARRR ROWWWLLL ROHRRROHRR

 

Imps have a lot of love Let the smothering begin Pretty soon things start getting tricky,  there seems to be a never-ending supply of Imps and they just won’t stop.   Baby, I love you but I need some space, okay?   I’ve got other monsters to kill and these keycards aren’t getting any easier to find.  Trick questions So there’s invisible monsters now?  How the hell am I suppose to shoot an invisible monster?  When you asked me if I thought your best friend was attractive  how was I suppose to know “Hell yeah she’s hot!” was the WRONG answer?  I’m a simple creature, be straight with me.

 

Goodbye, personal space My bathroom never looked the same after you moved in.  You wallpapered the house with entrails, spattered blood, and demonic symbols.  You took down my favorite Bjork poster and  replaced it  with a “kittens around the world” calendar.  You’re with me morning, noon, and night. Arch-vile

Picking the daily fight Now there’s an arch-vile running around resurrecting the dead.  We’ve been over this issue a hundred times, are you just looking for an excuse to fight?  Can’t we go just one day without mass-murder?

What used to be cute is now highly annoying If I have to shoot one more  flaming skull I swear to God I’m going to off myself with this plasma gun and end this once and for all.Lets have an us talk

 

 

 

I want to cheat on you I’m trapped in this relationship and IDDQD and IDKFA are starting to sound very appealing.  I’m a man of ethics, however, and I’m going to endure this masochistic adventure as honestly as I can. (Plus, the sex is still great)

 

Your friends are a bunch of Cacodemons Bloated, lethargic, one-eyed beasts:  your friends are a bunch of  self-centered, gossiping monsters who  are only concerned with a) themselves and b) bitching about whoever isn’t within earshot.

Cacodemons who gossip

The straw that broke the Cyberdemon’s back I’ve endured the hordes of hell for you.  I’ve watched our relationship evolve from a casual encounter into a level of commitment that rivals most marriages.  Your cat (which I’m allergic to, by the way) has managed to defecate, urinate, and claw everything I own that is less than four feet tall.  I have no armor, health, and I’m reduced to using my little spike-covered fist to fight with.  I’ve had it –  It’s over .

 

 

quake Moving on Doom II: I’ve started seeing someone else.  She supports true 3D and promises things you could never give me.  It’s not that I don’t love you, I just think we’re better off as friends.  Specifically, I think we’re better off as friends who live at least three states apart.

 

 

 

 

sock monsters

140 comments

  1. Well I can kinda relate sorry guys. Sometimes it’s just as painful for a woman to date an ex too. That’s pretty goofy though. I loved reading it. After getting a hold of one of my exs on here and found out it wasn’t gonna work out I thought kinda thank god he was pretty psyco and I hope he don’t read this.

  2. dude, that was awsome! not only did you perfectly descibe dating hell, but in a way that i( being someone who has worn out numerous controllers)could understand, and relate to.

  3. Pingback: zapatillas nike air max

  4. Pingback: True Religion Sale

  5. Pingback: pay4you

  6. Pingback: True Religion Jeans Outlet

  7. Pingback: Cheap True Religion

  8. Pingback: camisa cristiano ronaldo infantil

  9. Pingback: True Religion Mens Jeans

  10. Pingback: juventus turin trikot 2014 15

  11. Pingback: didier drogba jersey 2011

  12. Pingback: camiseta dela seleccion colombia en usa

  13. Pingback: True Religion Brand Jeans

  14. Pingback: nouveau maillot du milan ac

  15. Pingback: portugal nueva camiseta

  16. Pingback: real madrid home and away kit 2012 13

  17. Pingback: True Religion Jeans

  18. Pingback: jag

  19. Pingback: maillot officiel liverpool 2015

  20. Pingback: manchester united infant jersey

  21. Pingback: jual jersey ajax away grade ori

  22. Pingback: camiseta psg mercado libre

  23. Pingback: portugal trikot figo

  24. Pingback: bayer 4 trikot langarm

  25. Pingback: fc schalke 4 neue trikots

  26. Pingback: english soccer jerseys australia

  27. Pingback: dfb trikot wm 2010 wei?

  28. Pingback: camiseta original de colombia mercadolibre

  29. Pingback: discount ray ban sunglasses

  30. Its not my first time to pay a quick visit this web page, i am browsing this website dailly
    and get pleasant facts from here all the time.

  31. Pingback: maillot france 2013

  32. Pingback: maillot bayern noir 2012

  33. Pingback: fc bayern torwart trikot gold

  34. Pingback: manchester city football shirts 2012 13

  35. Pingback: camiseta portero barcelona 2013

  36. Pingback: bvb trikot 2014 kind

  37. Pingback: camiseta real madrid temporadas anteriores

  38. Pingback: boutique maillot psg ibrahimovic

  39. Pingback: maillot foot pays bas 1974

  40. Pingback: camiseta de croacia venta

  41. Pingback: real madrid long sleeve home kit

  42. Pingback: Men's Nike San Francisco 49ers 4 Andy Lee Limited Red Team Color Super Bowl XLVII NFL Jersey

  43. Pingback: italien trikot em 2012

  44. Pingback: ddr east germany football shirt

  45. Pingback: camisa do chelsea feminina

  46. Pingback: comprar camiseta athletic bilbao sin publicidad

  47. Pingback: nike camisetas personalizadas argentina

  48. Pingback: camisa feminina oficial nike sele??o brasil i 2013

  49. Pingback: france football jersey 2014

  50. Pingback: barcelona fc nueva camiseta

  51. Pingback: camiseta atletico de madrid sport zone

  52. Pingback: michael kors outlet

  53. Pingback: Women's Nike San Francisco 49ers 22 Carlos Rogers Limited White NFL Jersey

  54. Pingback: bayern munich kit 2014 price

  55. Pingback: deutschland trikot 2012 karstadt

  56. Pingback: Discount True Religion

  57. Pingback: peyton manning jerseys boys medium

  58. Pingback: フェンディ アウトレットモール

  59. Pingback: neues trikot real madrid 13 14

  60. Pingback: psv uitshirt gratis bedrukking

  61. Pingback: impresion camisetas madrid precios

  62. Pingback: what does arsenal s new kit look like

  63. Pingback: Discount True Religion

  64. Pingback: deutschland trikot gr锟斤拷n g?tze

  65. Pingback: Brazilian Virgin Hair

  66. Pingback: Brazilian body wave

  67. Pingback: tiffany canada

  68. Pingback: Discount True Religion

  69. Pingback: Google

  70. Pingback: Discount True Religion

  71. In every company, there will always be some downsides.
    Food being part of the physiologic needs of people should be taken with some
    sort of discipline. Well, mainly because it is tricky to differentiate your products and solutions from other providers this
    sort of as Herbalife, Pharmanex, Usana, Noni, or any of the other hundreds of
    herbal supplement Multi level marketing companies about the planet.

  72. ‘This week, I will only drink one beer on Friday night, saving
    myself thousands of calories’. Most of them are full of sugar
    and processed flour. For anybody who is scanning this report, I would guess that you are looking to register
    with Visalus and so are searching around for reputable information about Visalus Sciences.

  73. Pingback: paintless dent repair training

  74. Pingback: pdr course

  75. Pingback: True Religion Jeans

  76. Pingback: Discount True Religion

  77. Pingback: True Religion Hats

  78. Pingback: True Religion Outlet

  79. Pingback: Discount True Religion

  80. Pingback: Discount True Religion

  81. Pingback: Discount True Religion

  82. Pingback: USA True Religion

  83. Pingback: Discount True Religion

  84. I don’t even understand how I stopped up right here, but I assumed thi publish was great.

    I doo not know who you might be but definitgely you’re going to a famous blogger should you are not already.
    Cheers!

  85. Pingback: Discount True Religion

  86. eval(ez_write_tag([[580,400],’brighthub_com-netboard-1′]));
    . You had better avoid these companies and
    don’t prefer them, The companies which are willing to guarantee the results.
    Therefore, here we shall discuss about some of the different types of strategies used for better search engine optimization. When the SEO was introduced for the very first time, few people
    know what SEO is and what it is all about.

  87. The treatment itself involves great needles being placed with
    the skin and also left in position, occasionally quickly,
    often for as much as Thirty Minutes.

  88. Pingback: Discount True Religion

  89. What works today could be the worst thing for tomorrow.
    The reliability of the company will help you to have an extensive analysis to your
    site. t have any content at all there is nothing to index.
    Webdesigners is a leading Internet Marketing firm located
    in Netherlands.

  90. The creation of content is very important to online
    marketing. You had better avoid these companies and don’t prefer them, The companies which
    are willing to guarantee the results. Another way of getting your money’s worth is
    by ensuring that the strategy they provide fits in well with your
    own company’s strategy. If you have a business idea that you want to discuss, please leave
    your comments below.

  91. The MPCA is a promotional companion of WaterSense®, an EPA plan that promotes the value of
    water efficiency and water-effective products to shoppers.

  92. Conventional Chinese Medication, Acupuncture as well as
    Tui Na clinical massage are coming to be significantly approved
    right into the medical mainstream.

  93. As we hold two catering auctions on a monthly basis, as well
    as online and also onsite sales, we can swiftly market your redundant catering devices.

  94. Given that the analgesic impacts of acupuncture are small
    and also hardly scientifically substantial, the reasons for those tiny effects are rather scholastic.

  95. Kay

    Among other current updates, Supercell just recently added
    a Clan Wars” attribute that matches players’ clans against each other in group fight.

  96. Pingback: oakley sunglasses sale

  97. Pingback: michael kors outlet online

You must have an account to comment. Please register or login here!