Community > Posts By > peggy122

 
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Wed 01/10/18 01:12 PM




Those are some discouraging statistics Duttoneer but I agree with you that although marriage will be on the decline, it will survive in the future.

Whether its through genuine conviction or years of societal brainwashing, I think a large part of the population continues to view marriage as the ultimate symbol of commitment and base for family building.

And I also think that there is something in human nature that inclines us to believe that the worst will never happen to us regardless of all the victims who went before, which might explain why impirical records are often dismissed in the navigating of personal decisions.


I think you are right, it is that ultimate level of commitment as taken in the marriage vows that will also cause marriage to survive. We all believe that we will succeed where others have failed. Another sad statistic for those of us that are divorced is the chances of a successful second marriage are even less.sad2



I think I heard that statistic before and it is indeed very discouraging. :(

How I look at it is that I have little control over someone else in any context but especially in the context of a relationship or marriage.

Part of my life journey is learning to find most of my hapoiness and fulfilment in myself rather than placing that burden on a partner or someone else.

All I can do is focus on and work on being the best person and partner I can be, and hope for the best . The rest is out of my hands.



I like your attitude Peggy - I wish more people thought that way.
drinker


Thanks chris. Its much easier said than done though. I still struggle with it ohwell

peggy122's photo
Wed 01/10/18 01:47 AM
Edited by peggy122 on Wed 01/10/18 01:52 AM


Those are some discouraging statistics Duttoneer but I agree with you that although marriage will be on the decline, it will survive in the future.

Whether its through genuine conviction or years of societal brainwashing, I think a large part of the population continues to view marriage as the ultimate symbol of commitment and base for family building.

And I also think that there is something in human nature that inclines us to believe that the worst will never happen to us regardless of all the victims who went before, which might explain why impirical records are often dismissed in the navigating of personal decisions.


I think you are right, it is that ultimate level of commitment as taken in the marriage vows that will also cause marriage to survive. We all believe that we will succeed where others have failed. Another sad statistic for those of us that are divorced is the chances of a successful second marriage are even less.sad2


I think I heard that statistic before and it is indeed very discouraging. :(

How I look at it is that I have little control over someone else in any context but especially in the context of a relationship or marriage.

Part of my life journey is learning to find most of my hapoiness and fulfilment in myself rather than placing that burden on a partner or someone else.

All I can do is focus on and work on being the best person and partner I can be, and hope for the best . The rest is out of my hands.

peggy122's photo
Wed 01/10/18 01:47 AM


Those are some discouraging statistics Duttoneer but I agree with you that although marriage will be on the decline, it will survive in the future.

Whether its through genuine conviction or years of societal brainwashing, I think a large part of the population continues to view marriage as the ultimate symbol of commitment and base for family building.

And I also think that there is something in human nature that inclines us to believe that the worst will never happen to us regardless of all the victims who went before, which might explain why impirical records are often dismissed in the navigating of personal decisions.


I think you are right, it is that ultimate level of commitment as taken in the marriage vows that will also cause marriage to survive. We all believe that we will succeed where others have failed. Another sad statistic for those of us that are divorced is the chances of a successful second marriage are even less.sad2


I think I heard that statistic before and it is indeed very discouraging. :(

How I look at it is that I have little control over someoneone else in any context but especially in the context of a relationship or marriage.

All I can do is focus on and work on being the best person and partner I can be, and hope for the best . The rest is out of my hands

peggy122's photo
Tue 01/09/18 04:13 PM
It would definitely be someone I was romantically interested in happy

peggy122's photo
Tue 01/09/18 04:09 PM
Those are some discouraging statistics Duttoneer but I agree with you that although marriage will be on the decline, it will survive in the future.

Whether its through genuine conviction or years of societal brainwashing, I think a large part of the population continues to view marriage as the ultimate symbol of commitment and base for family building.

And I also think that there is something in human nature that inclines us to believe that the worst will never happen to us regardless of all the victims who went before, which might explain why impirical records are often dismissed in the navigating of personal decisions.

peggy122's photo
Tue 01/09/18 03:57 PM
You are doing great so far Tom! I really admire you for doing this, My brother is achain smoker and he hasconfided how hellish it is to quit. Wishing you success!flowerforyou

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Tue 01/09/18 03:04 PM
Edited by peggy122 on Tue 01/09/18 03:34 PM
so excited that I felt compelled to write it twice lol!

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Tue 01/09/18 03:04 PM
Excited about 2018!

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Tue 01/09/18 08:13 AM
Edited by peggy122 on Tue 01/09/18 08:20 AM
No one can take an effective plan of action for rebuilding/repairing in the midst of a storm.

Usually when I am in the scenario you describe, Im too close to my problem , too much in my head and cant see my situation with clarity.

So I start by distancing myself from everyone and everything for a weekend if I can, whether its at home, or by the beach. Some people take a road trip , a long drive or a quick flight to another location, or even go camping /fishing in the woods to get that distance.

After I get that distance, I usually embark on solving a smaller problem that requires a lot of concentration. It could be painting a room or re organising a drawer or purse or building /making sonething like a craft. For others it might be cooking a meal or fishing or tinkering with electronics , but concentrating on a small task usually helps to centre ny scattered thoughts and calm me.

After that Im usually in a better headspace to journal my thoughts / feelings and reflect on the bigger issue thats causing me stress and what I need to change in myself or environment to see the results I want, even if the change is to learn to acceotthe things I cant change like MsHarmony alluded to earlier.


But for me, I need to get troubling thoughts out of my head so it wont feel jumbled with all the other thoughts swirling around in my mind. And I do that by journaling or talking to someone I trust


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Mon 01/08/18 10:49 PM

Thanks Peggy, it is. Hope things are well with you too flowerforyou


No complaints on my side Pisces. Thank you happy Glad things are going well for you too :)




Happy new year Peggy that would be the mature thing to do I guess and not dwell on feelings. Thank you and blessings to you



Blessings to you too SS flowerforyou


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Mon 01/08/18 04:16 PM






If you know another person is hurting or sad because of you and you truly love that person what do you do? If you don’t do anything then why?


I agree with Eric. If they are hurting because of you, then do what you can to fix it.



Hello sis :kissing_heart: thanks for being you flowers


Hi sis :kissing_heart:

Hope all is well with you. flowerforyou

I believe if we love someone we don't intentionally hurt them. If we do without meaning to, make it right.

The only reason for not doing anything is if it will cause more harm in doing so. But it's important to communicate that you don't want to cause more damage, so you are going to try and make things right after you've had a chance to think more clearly.






Doing something will cause more harm sis? Would that mean hurting the other person more if you reach out?


It's more like what Peggy just said. Sometimes people we hurt need space, so trying to fix it right away might cause more harm.

I like the way Peggy put it. By asking what they need, it shows you care and want to make things better.




I hope 2018 is shaping up well for you so far Pisces flowerforyou

peggy122's photo
Mon 01/08/18 04:08 PM

thanks peg it was a wonderfully quiet eventbigsmile

love love the new pic!!!!!!


Thanks eric! And Im glad you enjoyed your birthday flowerforyou

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Mon 01/08/18 04:02 PM
A very belated Hppy birthday to you eric. Hope you had a blast! drinker

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Mon 01/08/18 04:00 PM
A very belated but sincere happy new year to the mingle family!!!!May you get all that you hope for in 2018 flowerforyou

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Mon 01/08/18 03:48 PM
Happy New Year SS flowerforyou

In a situation like that, I would give a heartfelt apology and ask the person if they need some space from me or if they would allow me to be there for them. Whatever they ask for, I would respect it and act accordingly

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Tue 12/26/17 02:33 PM
Merry christmas everyone! I hope everyone had a ball ! flowerforyou

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Tue 12/26/17 02:15 PM
Very belated but sincere birthday wishes to you duttoneer. I hope te day was worthy of you and merry christmas to you too ! flowerforyou

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Tue 12/05/17 06:28 AM
I never thought of "loving" and "being in love " as mutually exclusive. I was in a 10 year relationship where I loved AND was in love with my partner for the time we were together.

I just didn't feel the warm fuzzy feeling everyday or even every week , but I felt it more times in the relationship than I didn't .

Loving and being in love can be integrated in my opinion

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Tue 12/05/17 03:52 AM
Edited by peggy122 on Tue 12/05/17 04:11 AM
Hi crystal :)


Even if you love your mate , as in you yearn to share your life with them alone, it doesnt mean you wont go though days or even weeks of disliking them or not being in love with them and vice versa. And its even possible to love and be in love with someone and still not last because priorities, values or personalities etc may not be meshing.

I personally dont even care if my mate says he loves me or is in love with me because people have very conflicting ideas of what both terms mean. Isn't it more important that both parties agree on how the other should be treated and the direction they both want the relationship to go?

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Thu 11/30/17 11:15 AM
I will be kissing my mom after she returns from church Tom :)


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