Hi Everybody!!!
I checked I am still real. Nobody turned me into a pumpkin. Happy Halloween! Remember brush your teeth before you hit the sack tonight after all the sweets! SWAK!

Hi Everybody!!!
I checked I am still real. Nobody turned me into a pumpkin. Happy Halloween! Remember brush your teeth before you hit the sack tonight after all the sweets! SWAK!

There is a way to be honest and also be non-sexualized, diplomatic, compassionate, tactful, insiteful, wise, tasteful, restrained, polite, considerate, assertive, socially appropriate, humorous, and mature as a communicator but not every honest man has all those traits.

Contrary to your opinion; Mikey does.

That he also is considerate enough to point out to the OP that his failure with meeting women who want a relationship is his stated goals in his profile which is neither self righteous or depreciateing the OP's situation is accurate.

That you defend the OP's tactics as suicidal when they sound more like a sexist narcasistic bully looking to nail any one of the Mingle Sister's you have here is amazeing. Guess we know who our friends are.

Take it from me Matchmakers are high pressure master salepeople and a MAJOR a rip off when it comes to finding you someone desireable. They have the same people you can find on most dateing sites and sometimes worse because they can afford to pay the fee plus bonuses to get "top billing" and they want their money's worth. Usually when you least expect them to come accross with that revelation. You are better off to take your time and chat awhile longer. Research a guy for his ownline posts. Check up the things he tells you for truthfulness and attitude. Will save you a lot of Kissing Frogs. But there are nice guys out there hang on.

Hmmm I think over the years probably my closest friends have been guys. Might be for years living in male dominated areas around military bases or being Mom to sons but I don't find the competition element ever coming up with male friends and that just makes being friends with males easier. When I have a male friend the whole thing about territory never comes up when they get a girlfriend and I never have to be careful about being caught unawares with some rare ******* that thinks his wife's friends are his fringe benifits. Turn them down cold it never goes well because they usually can't just accept it and invariably it "burns" the friendship with their wife. (So you gals out there wonder why your female friends avoid your "charming & perfect" husband; heads up.)

I now have an older lady I consider a close friend a few years now and one other friend I have kept in touch with over the years but just to go do something and hang out usually a guy. Probably related to the fact that a lot of my hobbies are things that appeal to guys; fishing, camping, hunting, photography, carpentry, remodeling, landscapeing, muscle cars so I get invited to go along. I could care less about fashion, or getting the girl girly stuff done so . Part of it is I just have a lot of superficial friends because moving so much in my younger adult years I got used to being alone.

I will say that my feelings contradict the study because most of my male friends I do find VERY sexually attractive but just consistently "check" those feelings because their friendship is more important to me than enjoying a fun boink that would more than likely mess up the relationship. I try to be courteous and not put my male friends in "uncomfortable" or "confuseing" situations where I hug-up on them or say things that would send a message that I have those feelings. Nobody likes to be teased or their feelings played with.

I understand a male friend questioning "why not me", just like women do, and have a few times had that conversation, which usually takes some time to settle in amd get back to normal, but usually I have been lucky enough to have the conversation when it is clear by their or my situation that a significant other has that part of life covered.

My experience is FWB Neeeeever works because someone doesn't want to settle for just friendship. And it is not always the Gal. Guys can say they don't mind "shareing" or not being "The One" if FWB starts but I have never seen it happen that the guy who is "just" and FWB doesn't resent it when the gal moves on. And FWB trashes ever going back to Friends. And I have yet to meet the man that is comfortable with having an EX FWB or any other "lover" in their partners close circle and I can't say I would blame them.

One thing I have never really reconcilled is when you have opposite sex friends that same sex friends seem to never really accept it. They don't want to hang out together unless it is an opportunity to "mingle" on a hookup level. Sometimes if everyone is "coupled" but God for bid you include a single opposite sex friend in a gathering it is like trying to mix oil and water.

I finished up my last obligation for volunteering for the year and I am thinking maybe taking a year, maybe more, off. It is draining me. The need is endless but my strength is not.

I also am relieved that some of the relationships that I kept alive because of my Parents, now passed, I can let go as more misery than they are worth.

I don't know if I will get rid of my stuff or not. Everyone keeps telling me it would make "my" life simplier but the truth is it makes their life easier because they don't want to have to bother to clean anything up when I am gone. I actually enjoy my things and don't see why I have to make my passing easy and comfortable for anyone but me.

Son in Norfolk spared flooding and any damages so far.

Sending support and prayers to all that are struggleing under the weather hardships. Already amassing recovery teams and supplies from Cali to you you all in need.

Thinking of you all and sending you positive vibes for a good day.

Hmmm yea that sounds kind of creepy depending how that is interpreted. Sorry just because I am a Mom (OR Grandma) doesn't mean I don't want to also be sexually attractive but the F word give me a break!

I have read a lot of the thread but it kind of boils down for what works for me would not work for everybody so I am not even going to suggest it should.

I would not be real comfortable with labeling an order for rank in my life and I come from a mindset and experience where rank was often King. Married to a military man you followed his career because the alternative was not much of an option. At home that wasn't necessarily so but I am not going to say I was always against it once absolute trust was established.

I like the idea of doing what works for the situation. Life sometimes turns roles around and a partner that can roll with that is a plus. Even if at times it means a mate that has to take charge and let the other coast to get through a crisis in health, education, employment, or addressing dependents needs or be the one cared for without looseing their self esteem.

To me a strong marriage is a set of scales that eventually level out in the long view but can accomodate the sifts with excruciateingly ridgid roles totally tossing off the balance.

I don't even know what MILF stands for but it sounds creepy to me. I mean I have visions of Criminal Minds International! Yikes!

I am snuggleing in between Soufie and Penny
03/14 PacificStar48

Hundred Percent agree with the classes idea!

What is so sad to me is when I see couples that have been together for years or someone step up in the last decades of life or so and be the caregivers; sometimes literally working themself nearly to death 24/7 and then children or grandchildren or siblings that did not "darkent the door" tromp in and take anything and everything of value leaveing the caregiver wheather relative, lover, or friend to fend the best way they know how.

I have literally seen caregivers evicted with in hours of the the cared for person's death, and become homeless because they are so long out of the paid job market, frail even themselves, or just too trusting to believe that the person who has promised them any number of consessions for minimal or no pay in leiu of if they faithfully provide that care betray them. I have even seen caregivers loose their personal possessions because they can not prove they actually own such basic things as clothing, bedding, food stuffs, even medical equipment. This not just a gender specific kind of abuse either. It is particularly sad when it is a person with limited intelligence or language skills that has been literally treated like a house slave for years because it was the only way they could survive and the family and society has basiclly used them sometimes for decades because they could not defend themself. That isn't always preventable with a "prenup" but occassionally it can be.

I have posted this before but I will again.....


BEFORE A DISASTER DEVELOPE A DISASTER PLAN!

And take a Emergency survial First Aid course.

Get someone out of area as trusted Point of Contact that will accept a collect call or call from and Emergency Responder. Give them essential medical information, a certified copy of birth certificates, If you really trust them a ATM card for a small savings account. Once you get it you can usually have funds transferred to the account than you can opening a new account without local addresses and employment.

If you are a "Family of One" appoint a Emergency Power of Attorney even if it is a minister, Red Cross superviser, extended family member, or attorney. It is a simple form that limits what they can do to very specific things you can pick. EVERY STATE has these forms available on line.

Know where your disaster relief marshalling areas are before a disaster occurs. Most often these are designated locations in every zipcode. Firestations, community centers, hospitals, should be mapquested and posted on cabinet doors so everyone knows how to walk to help.

Teach your children and spouses where you will go in a situation where you will be forced to leave your home or school or employment. Then contact someone they know at your out of area home of records and tell them when you are safely there. Sometimes it is much easier to contact people out of area than in. It reduces panic and wasted energy.

Make sure you have a certified (seal embossed) copy of EVERYONE's Birth Certificate and photo state ID and or Driver's license put on their body in a waterproof ziplock. You will need that to get into shelters if it comes to that. Parents have to accept as best they may try they can sometimes be seperated from their children in emergency situtuations. This is particularly common when the child is over age 12 and not same sex.

Write your child or dependent adults name or social security number on their clothes, or better yet, arm or back, in indelible marker since in family seperations they are often too traumatized to tell people who they are. Medical personel can then identify who they are and access critical medical information and begin searches for family rather than have them suffering as John or Jane Doe's in state institutions. Or worse if they are teens and become combative Jail. Or God forbid die and end up in a temporary morgue.

ALSO take a utility bill with your name and address to prove your address is in a covered disaster zone.

Falling trees and downed power lines are the leading causes of death in most disaster areas. Resist the temptation to go outside and look around after a storm passes.

Never try to drive accross water covered roads. While it is great to see the the heroic reescue the fatalities rarely make it to the news footage because of death notifications of next of kin.

Be VERY CAREFUL about carbon monoxide poisoneing if you use any kind of heat source in and enclosed area. Even with a garage door open it can hang under the eves and take you down. If you are lucky and survive you can still have long term brain damage before you even realize you are being poisoned.

Setting up a pup tent or drapeing a table with a tablecloth or tarp within a home is a good way to conserve body heat but can create a coffin if you try to burn a candle or other heat source near by.

If you do not have a weapon you can use a fire extinguisher or bug spray to ward off intruders.

Do NOT open doors to strangers unless you see FIRST RESPONDER identifications. Scavengers, and worse, often masquerade immediately after disasters. In major disasters prisoners are released rather than be left to die incarcerated.

If you must leave your residence after a disaster write your destination on your front door so emergency personel do not keep looking for "missing bodies".

If you Must leave pets behind identify that information on your front door or someplace high that can be seen. Rescuers will not be forced to shoot your pets and often leave food when they will not allow you in the area to leave more provisions.

Keep your head covered and dry as you loose 80% of your body heat through your head.

If water is deep enough to cover your feet it is too deep to walk in safely because it is hard to estimate current in even slightly deeper water. Running water in a flood plane is cold enough to cause frost bite in less than 100 yards.

Buying water in liter or gallon bottles with handles makes it easier to carry if you have to walk to a watersource for refills during an extended power outage.

Cutting notches in a foot long section of a broom stick makes it easier to carry heavy bags.

A rolling trashcan can be a good substitute shopping cart if you need to go for supplies.

As you empty water or milk bottles you can fill them with urine reduceing fluid waste. Kitty litter in the bottom of a "Home Depot" bucket lined with a trash liner makes an outdoor porto potty under a chair. If you have drained one toilet in the home you can simpley tape the bag over the toilet rim.

Stock up on aluminum foil. It is easy to cook individual portions of food with less fuel in small pouches.

Trash bags can make ponchos. And conserve body heat. Smaller trashbags can be layered under jackets.

Many newer models of emergency radios, the kind you can hand crank for power, also charge cell phones. If you have a cell phone conserve your charge and resist trying to be a news reporter. Yea you might sell a picture but the likely hood is you will have someone take your phone so mute the ringer and keep it out of sight.

Useful tools for emergencys stored in a covered 5 gallon bucket are flash lights, D-Cell batteries, rechargeable radio, visegrips, sturdy multi purpose pocket knife, a small army type pick shovel, 50' sturdy nylon rope, small grommeted tarps, matches in a waterproof container, 25 ct.trash bags, hand can opener, small folding saw, indellible markers, duct tape, work gloves, insulated screwdrivers, hammer, first aid manual and kit. A few pencils and a small spiral of paper in a water proof bag, If you have a computer a flash drive of your memory which hopefully includes your documents, treasured photos, and essential medical records. If you regularly need refrigerated medication a small insulated termos.A small camping mess kit.

A popcorn can of charcoal per family member is extreamly useful.

I find it interesting that an older woman's value suddenly comes down to her monetary assets when it comes to a divorce but it is frequently about other more intrinsic assets when it comes to the marriage. The only place this value takes another turn around is when the husband becomes infirm and needs a nurse

Men
If they are conversational and not real aggressive. Start out with a polite not too personal comment. Appeal to me as a person first.

Women
Similiar interest. Easy going. Appeal to me as a peer.

Think F&L may be more on tract there.

This post caught my attention as I try to distract myself from the lingering pain I feel this morning toasting a chez sandwich my alltime favorite comfort food for the first time since my Dad made the last one.

Death comes to so many and it seems before the holidays when we tend to celebrate with loved ones we are more aware.

It seems the ones we care for parents, children, friends are the ones that hurt us the most. They leave such holes in ou lives.

Then hopefully we feel gratitude and reverance towards those who teach, care for, an defend us.

Probably why it is so painful for us to see the devistation when 9-11 occurred. It wasn't that we feel any less for the janitors, secretarys, clerks, or executives, airline passengers that died that day it is just we know the ones that went in trying to save the fallen were that fragile line between death and us.

I think the death of innocents as in school shootings, the theater maddness, or missings pregnant mothers tends to hold attention because the insanity that is so near us day to day suddenly becomes more apparent. It isn't so much the value of the lives lost it is the fear that only by some whim there go we.

Sometimes I think we intentionally look the other way from death. We all know that the terroists exist in the world but find it easier to pass off on a religion or a persons skin color or country of origin or their own poverty/inability to fight back and say well that is there and I have my own problems here to deal with. Sometimes not even realizeing we are contributeing to some of the problems. As a country we want cheap manufactured goods, cheap food, cheap gasoline, cheap drugs, and cheap gemstones. We don't care that we are turning other countries into polluted death traps and seemed to ignore that we have become more or less totally dependent on the only work we have which is manipulateing money. That most of us could not grow, could not defend, could not exist with out the rest of the world's labor. And who is going to miss us?

How many of us really miss those that are fading from our own midst? You look around the Mingle forums and more and more are getting "long in the tooth". Quite a few are ill and I would hate to try to add up who have "vanished" into the land cyberspace. I wonder how many have given up looking for work, quit dateing, and can't afford the luxery of DSL?

Yes I think the balance of who we greive in passing is rather jaundiced. Doesn't seem fair that the haves and the educated seem to get all the media attention but the media does court the consumers that shop their advertisers. And a lesson that was driven home hard years ago was the refrain I heard all to ofen after the horific Kings Island church bus crash "Why did it have to happen to such nice kids" as if it would have somehow been more acceptable had it been a prison bus or a bunch of snow birds. Loss of life is loss of life. We miss people who pass regardless of what is left of theri life's potential.

Snaps are ok think I would have a lead shot that actually shows your face better.

Happy Happy for ya Auntie!