Again, I wonder how you have any idea how "real" my relationship is, and how anyone who hasn't even seen it, let alone is involved in it, can "know" that it isn't?

I don't disagree, I'm just saying that I feel a hint of that in the term "taken", which is why I suspect that I wouldn't like it even if I were in a monogamous relationship.

Interesting. According to your definition?

What about people in polyfidelitous triads, for instance, where three people are in a romantic relationship with each other but don't date outside the triad? That's a 3-person relationship where the participants really ARE taken in a more traditional sense.

You're right, though, in a more open situation like mine, terms like "taken" feel rather out of place and don't particularly apply.

Then again, my recent ex and I, while theoretically polyamorous, were functionally monogamous due to neither of us actually dating anyone else while we were together, and I was feeling fairly taken with him despite still being technically available.

Of course, I haven't had a nominally monogamous relationship in many years, so terms like "taken" don't mean all that much to me in general, and I tend not to like the hint of ownership I sense in the term.

I guess that depends upon your definition of "taken". I max out around two partners, so I feel fairly taken at that point--I don't have the time and energy to maintain more romantic connections at a time than that. This varies by person.

I'm curious as to how he lacks the ability to differentiate between "not for me" and "not real" based on a few lines of text. I would never approach an entire relationship structure with that view, and it baffles me that he thinks that's a valid approach to a new idea. I'm not attacking, but honestly curious.

Swinging is a different subset of non-monogamous relationships. Swinging involves sexual connections outside a partnership, whereas polyamory involves multiple romantic relationships. There is a great deal of emotional attachment involved, and the relationships are ongoing.

So why the problem differentiating between "type of relationship I wouldn't want" and "real relationship"? How do you feel you can know how real my relationship is based on such extremely limited information?

I'm curious as to why you did say it then, and what reaction you expect when telling someone that you don't think their relationship counts as a "true relationship" simply because you wouldn't choose that relationship structure for yourself.

That's not meant as hostility, simply curiosity. If you're actually interested, I'm happy to talk about it.

What's a "true relationship"? We all have interests outside out relationships; in the case of my network, some of those interests happen to be other people. Monogamy is not the only valid relationship structure, and doesn't mean we're not in 100%.

You can think whatever you like, but your opinion on my relationship counts for very little in my mind.

It's a polyamorous relationship. He's got a fiancee; we've met and get along fabulously, everyone's fully aware of and consenting to the situation. He's got another couple peripheral involvements, she sees a few other men, and I'm open to see other people as well.

Dating someone but not exactly "taken".

Sometimes I wonder if I'm in danger of such a thing, but then I remember how awkward I find initial encounters, and how I need emotional comfort to be sexual with someone, and I realize that while some thought of it may be appealing, it's not something that I actually want.

The question is, do you trust her? Is she good for you? If not, then you have your answer.

I think it looks good. It says something about you, about who you are and what you're looking for.

Spelling and punctuation. Personally, I'm unlikely to take someone seriously, or bother reading their profile at all, if they don't have them correctly spelled and punctuated.

Break up your profile blurb with sentences. I'm also generally more inclined to take people seriously if they say more about what their hobbies are. You mentioned not wanting to sit around all day--so what do you do when you're not sitting around?

I would fix the punctuation. Your sentences need some commas, and a few of them should be more than one sentence and haven't been made so. It makes it hard to read.

The info is good, it's just that the delivery could use a bit of work.

I think the lack of capitalization makes it hard to read. Other than that, looks good!

It sounds like you're approaching this with logic and maturity, and as long as he does the same, there's no reason not to explore your connection, right? I'd just talk to him and make sure he's open to your level of religious belief and not going to disrespect you by trying to bring you over to his way of thinking (or church-going, or whatever). As long as you two can respect where each of you is coming from, it's all good.

Also, no one is "normal". It's a pretty useless description.