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Oh I get it, you spit him out cause you got a tummy ache! Thats a good joke! At first I thought you meant something else but now I totally understand!
 
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Oh great now his wife senses a threat and is screaming "you're crazy! You're crazy you *******!" It's sad how much she wants me!
  
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Another lovely cannibal, I'm no angel trust me!
  
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No he doesn't want to marry me, I just asked that prick and he said "seriously, shut the f*** up and stop kicking my door a**hole!" Hes so weird!
 
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Cannibal, but a very nice person still.
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I'm lost in tagalog where did Mikey go? I have this guy from Africa asking me to sign onto google and talk to him, he promises he won't scam me and tells me I'm his best friend. I think I really trust him. Hes n my heart..cant pull him out..and dont have plan of pulling him out either.. 
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I feel like listening to Sublime as loud as my stereo will go, my neighbor hates that so I do it often. He once called the police and reported me as a drug dealer because I was up all night and always had people over, even though he knew I was a comedian, the police showed up and asked no further questions after I told them that was all it was. So now I "accidentally" do things that annoy him. He's just jealous of my beauty.
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I'm lost in tagalog where did Mikey go? I have this guy from Africa asking me to sign onto google and talk to him, he promises he won't scam me and tells me I'm his best friend. I think I really trust him.
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Dont worry mate there probably got me in that conversation as well...up to me freakin neck.  We were just talking on how to eat you alive and how do we start whenever you set a foot here in the Philippines. Hahaha..I just told her how will I eat mikey... 
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Do they really have freak shows there?! We don't have them in the states, we can't do anything fun anymore.
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When I was in Australia they called me the kangaroo with a front tail. I forget why... I know what a dingo is, here in colorado we have man eating wolves, literally we had our first wolf attack recently. The man shows no signs of being a werewolf but I'm ready if he does!
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I assume anyone speaking in another language is talking about me. Where is that dang "I'm so vein" smiley icon?
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I dunno, I have some writing that needs done sometime between now and friday. I might though. Sleep is overrated no one looks up from their death bed and says "I wish I slept more!" That was no true story, in my true stories I compare myself to a much much more masculine dog.
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I'm glad you guys found that funny, it just popped into my head and I thought it was way to funny to keep there!
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Aussies might supply it but Americans say thank you for bringing the booze atleast... I couldn't come up with anything clever,
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I threw a rock at a man once for spending too much time looking at me. I was so shocked when the mirror broke... That is my horrible secret, I can't tell real from reflection and it confuses and angers me, like a poodle.  
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I threw a rock at a man once for spending too much time looking at me. I was so shocked when the mirror broke... That is my horrible secret, I can't tell real from reflection and it confuses and angers me, like a poodle.
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Topic:
Things you do alone
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Have an extremely angry nearly violent argument. I'm not crazy this other guy is an a*****e.... I'm sorry the other me speaks before we think.
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I got hung up at work but I got on here as soon as I could! I'm happy for you guys! I realize I'm little more than a stranger but Mikey seems like a really good guy, I look forward to seeing you both in the forums here!
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forgot the brews!
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