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| Topic: WHEN IN A RELATIONSHIP | |
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Do you still have outside interests?
Do you still make time for your friends? What happens to all the other relationships in your life? When in a relationship can you be seen without your partner? (or do you become joined at the hip?) |
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I still make time for the other things in my life. I like to spend time with them, but I've come to realize if you spend too much time with them they feel smothered.
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when it is right it just seems to work out that the
time you want to spend with them is magically the time they also want to spend with you. but everyone needs to have a certain amount of outside interests, and everyone needs friends, so for me anyway - in a sense my whole life changed, the focus of my life changed, but my outside activities, friends and relationships didn't really change much at all and it was pretty stress free until we had kids!! 
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slow - and thats when the fun began
 I asked because I am curious; have seen so many men and women lose themselves in a relationship then wonder why it didnt work. |
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Edited by
ddn122
on
Wed 08/20/08 07:56 AM
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in general the schedule is set, therefore...some one is getting less ddn122 time...and it isn't the new GF..
and it isn't "me" time either |
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There is no doubt that when in a relationship the time spent with others change. This is to be expected. You want to spend time with your SO..BUT, you should not ever give up any friendships (unless they cause harm to your relationship..and if that's the case they weren't truly friends) everyone needs their own time and space to do things, by themselves or with friends. If not enough time is spent in a relationship then the relationship is bound to fail.
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Well in my case the blend of family and friends has gone pretty smoothly
Not to say some of his friends I could do without, and possibly some of Mine he could do without, ( couldn’t imagine why) lol… Communication is big hear,, I have outside interests that I hold dear To my heart this he knows and He is my #1 supporter of my goals My Son has outside interests along with school and he is my #1 Priority,,, a known factor when we moved our relationship from Living apart to living under the same roof,,, We make me and you time (dates) and keep to them Life is incredible,, one must learn to breathe, Exhale and go with the Flow, trying to keep me intact is not always an easy task But a rise base for structure… in keeping a relationship open Honest, happy and fulfilling,, Just my Opinion  |
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Hmmm... I want to share in his interests, meet his friends and yet give him time to be alone or just with his friends. I want him to share in my interests, meet my friends, yet give me time to be alone with myself and my friends.
I think common activities are great, but so is sharing in others. I can't lose myself..... I glow neon. 
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Well in my case the blend of family and friends has gone pretty smoothly Not to say some of his friends I could do without, and possibly some of Mine he could do without, ( couldn’t imagine why) lol… Communication is big hear,, I have outside interests that I hold dear To my heart this he knows and He is my #1 supporter of my goals My Son has outside interests along with school and he is my #1 Priority,,, a known factor when we moved our relationship from Living apart to living under the same roof,,, We make me and you time (dates) and keep to them Life is incredible,, one must learn to breathe, Exhale and go with the Flow, trying to keep me intact is not always an easy task But a rise base for structure… in keeping a relationship open Honest, happy and fulfilling,, Just my Opinion  Especially with children it is very important to make/keep those dates, you have to have the "you and me" time for sure. |
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i pretty much do what i did when i was single, with added time for that special person.
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When in a relationship, it's nice when we share some interests and meet each other's friends. But, it's also important to have time on our own. Time to spend with our friends. Too many people give up everything else when they're in a relationship.
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Ohhhhhh and I forgot to mention that one special shared interest. It is important to spend enough time together to make sure that is not overlooked.
 
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ladies thank you all for sharing.
I have seen so many people put all their efforts into becoming "one" with this other person. I call it the siamese effect. Wondered if I was wrong or if anyone shared my opinion. Relationships are great!!!! woohoooo But people must retain their identity and sense of self. We all partake in various relationships daily, have seen some refuse (or change) in the way they treat others. example: you and grocer shared jokes now you no longer do? example: you and mailman used to share words or smiles - now you longer do? example: you and neighbor used to hit the gym together - now thats no longer done? |
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yes
yes They pretty much stay the same, maybe I have less time for some of them because I want quality time with my boyfriend, but they would understand that. yes |
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Ohhhhhh and I forgot to mention that one special shared interest. It is important to spend enough time together to make sure that is not overlooked.  GO LILITH GO LILITH GETCHA GROOVE ON GO LILITH |
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Edited by
lilith401
on
Wed 08/20/08 08:23 AM
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Fran, I see that. I think there are those that are incomplete alone and reach to others. Then, when they are in a relationship they forget all of that and put everything in that one person. Life is all about balance and this can be a struggle. You love your partner and want to be with them, but yet you can't ignore the life you had before.
Compromise.... maybe once a week to the gym, and chatting at the store and mailbox stopping.. that is just rude. TYVM..... I can't let anyone forget what a perv I am....
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmngCNq8ufE
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Just bringing out into the open, figured with so many different personalities online, I'd get a few different responses.
I feel strongly in a person maintaining their individuality. I love sharing my time with others and that includes a significant other/lover/bf/hubby/family/friends etc., also enjoy "me" time with no one around. Have seen first hand what people do in the name of "love/relationships" and got curious. Even more curious to see how many would admit they have done as much as try and meld their identities. Guess it's just my curious nature. |
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I'd go camping for the right guy.
That's huge. HUGE!!!!  But in my younger days I've become very attached quickly. Now, I try to be as realistic as possible... but I definitely have time in my life to spend a lot of time with a partner. It could only be every day if I lived with them, though. |
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i get 24 hrs a day....how do you add time?
Please advise! i pretty much do what i did when i was single, with added time for that special person. |
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