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Topic: my heart goes into this..any advice from women would be appr
Edison0017's photo
Mon 07/06/09 09:13 AM
Well...this is the first time im writing this..but i needed to get it off my chest. My long weekend started to look really bright..i've been talking to this girl for about 3 months...we really liked each other..so I've felt..went out on our first date thursday july 2nd, went to applebees's bar, drank wine and other..we were just tlaking about our past...we kissed, went to another bar, kissed again, and she told me "lets take it slow, i really like u"...so I'm like "yeah, def". At 2am, we kissed AGAIN good nite..and that wsa the last time i saw her. Next day, she didnt text or even called..so i was worried..i didnt know if she was hurt or something..I texted her and called her back a few times..no response...this happened on Friday...so im like "ok..shes probably busy..im going with my parents to visit some family in Elizabeth Nj"...fine I went...now coming back i get lost in that freaking highway...287East...and end up in the same place she and i had our first date..so i tell my parents..you guys are hungry, maybe we can stop here in applebees...mind you she never texted back...and we were suppose to go out again fri night...i called her a coupld of times more and she finally writes back "i'm really tired from work, im done" so i reply back "ahh ok..i'm at the applebees when we had our first date with my parents..if you want me to stay i will as they drive their own car and i got mine"...no response...sat morning she texts back "i'm really creeped out that you were in that place, that shows that if you knew my address you would have come, im officially creeped out" so im like "listen, i didnt go there cause of you...i got lost and ended there...so im with my family...and grabbed something, whats wrong with you"....now i've tried to call her and even texted here to explain whats going on....until now i havent received a call or text back....I'm a stock broker engineer..i get to travel most of the time if i choose to go..for her i decided to decline a business trip to France so i can have time with her...now I've decided to accept a Spain trip for 1 week, and maybe relocate..who knows? But i guess the question for all women is, did i do something wrong? whos to blame? what expectations do women have? Cant just a great guy have a great girl, or do we have to turn into @$$holes for you girls to really fall for us....I'm not a hot guy..but im pretty decent looking...but im still confused..if you girls want to reply back go ahead..any input on how you deal with this is truly appreciated...enjoy the rest of your day.

babygirl98270's photo
Mon 07/06/09 09:18 AM
You really have done nothing wrong. She should have been more forward to start with.. Leave her alone she sounds like the type that will be bring drama in your life.. Next thing you know you will be labeled a stalker. And bla bla bla. You dont need it.

silly's photo
Mon 07/06/09 09:25 AM
She probably felt that u were coming on a little to strong,on the dategrumble .Just relax and lay back a little bit.:smile:
Also so many texts makes u look desperate:grumble .Next time just a phone call.Talking on the phone

is always better then just a text.flowerforyou



Heather420's photo
Mon 07/06/09 09:34 AM
You probably came on strong and whatnot. All I have to say is that you do NOT want to text her every hour, from her point of view it seemes wierd, and just wait for her to get back to you, the ball is in her field now, but if she doesn't do anything, you may just have too move on and find someone else.

Edison0017's photo
Mon 07/06/09 09:44 AM
Thats the thing though....dont you think its wrong for someone not to return the text or call...i mean i'm a straight foward guy...I'm a guy that expects a call back or something...i mean...i wasnt even sure if she's ok or not...u know...well in our first date...shes the one that kissed me...i was lying back and all..but the night continued..and we started to kiss even more...you know..as a true gentleman i respected her..if i wanted i could have had her intimately in the first night...something im scared to do anyways..i like to wait..I guess you are right...i think its a learning experience..but she was the one always texting me and calling and it never bothered me...but its cool...its whatever at this point.

PS: Heather- Wow you are beautiful..well all the women here posting are beautful...

thanks for the advice...so im heading to Spain for a week..have a meeting over there and return...i'm going to concentrate on my job..
Honestly speaking, maybe this is something i have to fix..when i date a person, i go all out to make it work...you know...maybe i should just not care..who know..but its def furstrating.


yellowrose10's photo
Mon 07/06/09 09:45 AM
sounds to me like she might be gun shy. maybe not call or text her as much as you did...but live and learn. but I get the feeling she was looking for an excuse.

TxsGal3333's photo
Mon 07/06/09 10:00 AM
Hummm sorry I did not see where you did anything wrong what I see is someone that had a change of heart instead and looking for and excuse not to see you again. I'm a true believer that if someone e-mails, text or calls you that you should give that respect back and return a message as well.

If I was you I would move on with my life at your age with the opportunity before you to travel with your job shshsh go for the gusto and enjoy life while you can. There will be plenty of times ahead to find that special one.

Communication is the key if one can not communicate with you within the same manner then your wasting your breath and time.

Enjoy your trip!!bigsmile

auburngirl's photo
Mon 07/06/09 10:52 AM
I agree Kristi. I don't see him coming on too strong if indeed that is truth that you found yourself in that same area at Applebees with your folks and in no way planned that out. I can see where she might wonder if you'd done that on purpose but it was asked, and you answered/explained it. If you don't hear back from her...Enjoy Spain!

MirrorMirror's photo
Mon 07/06/09 11:11 AM
:smile: You didn't really do anything wrong but I can see how that would be sort of creepy:smile:

kojack's photo
Mon 07/06/09 11:12 AM
YOU seemed desperate by calling and texting so much in my opinion.

MirrorMirror's photo
Mon 07/06/09 11:12 AM
:smile: She may have been trippin becuz you called and texted her all those times:smile:

auburngirl's photo
Mon 07/06/09 11:14 AM
Mirror, you and kojack really are the same person, aren't you?

MirrorMirror's photo
Mon 07/06/09 11:17 AM

Mirror, you and kojack really are the same person, aren't you?
laugh We both posted at the same timelaugh

auburngirl's photo
Mon 07/06/09 11:18 AM
laugh laugh laugh I know and said the same thing. scared scared But I can tell the difference. You have that little curly thing on top of YOUR head.

kojack's photo
Mon 07/06/09 11:19 AM
when i look in the mirror i see myself, baldness and all

MirrorMirror's photo
Mon 07/06/09 11:20 AM

laugh laugh laugh I know and said the same thing. scared scared But I can tell the difference. You have that little curly thing on top of YOUR head.
laugh laugh laugh laugh

MirrorMirror's photo
Mon 07/06/09 11:20 AM

when i look in the mirror i see myself, baldness and all
laugh laugh laugh laugh

tngxl65's photo
Mon 07/06/09 11:26 AM
Unfortunately this isn't uncommon. As a rule on the first couple of dates I would call once and maybe email or text once (not in close succession. If neither receives a response, then let it go. The chances that something has happened to them are very slim. The chance that she's blowing you off is nearly 100%. And when someone is trying to avoid you and you, despite your good intentions, are trying to contact her, she will see it as stalking....mainly because she is looking for an excuse.

Edison0017's photo
Mon 07/06/09 12:12 PM
Well its not deperate bro...honestly...i juss thought at the time that she was probably hurt or something...not sure why...but again, this happened for the first time in my life..lol..so maybe i couldnt deal with it..now i'm ok...I'm kinda excited to go to spain..see what happens....I just happened to get pissed cause i blew off other girls and i never got their numbers out of respect for her..u know...but it is what it is..just wondering why women would always say "OMG how come i cant find a good man>:...well there is your answer..

Winx's photo
Mon 07/06/09 12:23 PM
Edited by Winx on Mon 07/06/09 12:24 PM

Unfortunately this isn't uncommon. As a rule on the first couple of dates I would call once and maybe email or text once (not in close succession. If neither receives a response, then let it go. The chances that something has happened to them are very slim. The chance that she's blowing you off is nearly 100%. And when someone is trying to avoid you and you, despite your good intentions, are trying to contact her, she will see it as stalking....mainly because she is looking for an excuse.


Word of advice: If you're calling a cell, it can get lost. I've lost mine before and had another one die.

Also, for emails - my computer died and I got another one a couple of months later.



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