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| Topic: hardest situation | |
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Edited by
AngieRae
on
Tue 07/28/09 09:52 PM
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Ok so I guess this falls under this forum So heres my story: I am dating a guy I have been with for a year and 3 months & I love him more than anything but he's had a hard life... He had a baby with a girl who left him and married a new guy and put his name on the birth certificate! Long story short he has barely seen his daughter for the past 2 years! He has mentioned before that the mom gets jealous when he has a gf bc she wants him as a backup plan! Well now she just got a divorce and Im so worried she will come around asking for him back! We have talked about it and he says he doesnt know what he would do and hopes hes not put in that situation bc on one hand he would be with a terrible woman but see his daughter everyday and on the other he would be with a woman he loves and have to still wait around for the money to get court fees to get his daughter! I understand he wants to see his daughter but he CAN have both me and his daughter if he waits it out for the money! Its just so hard waiting around for the possibility of losing someone you love! I just dont know what to do! I hate to say this honey, but what makes us happy and what is RIGHT is not always the same thing. I was in a VERY similar situation once. I dated a guy for awhile and was head over heals. Then he broke up with me. Five years later we reconnected but within those five years, he had gotten married had a son, and seperated fromt he mom. His ex was living with her new boyfriend and he and I got back together. Then one day he told me that she wanted to work things out with him for the sake of their son. Although it was hard, I had to say "Good, that's exactly what you SHOULD do. Your son deserves to have a complete family." And I bowed out gracefully. Even though I thought she was a terrible person from some of the things I had heard, she couldn't have been that bad because there were obviously things that he loved about her. At that point, I realized that who she is was none of my business... they are a family and a boy needs his dad more than two days a week or every other week. It sounds like you guys haven't been put in that situation yet, because you didn't say she DOES want him back. If that happens though, you can fight for what makes YOU happy or you can feel great about yourself because, no matter how much it hurt you, you did right by a child. He could either stay with you because YOU make HIM happy, or he could find happiness with her by rediscovering what he first loved about her, knowing that his daughter won't have to go through the same struggles as every other daddyless girl, and finding a way to make HIMSELF happy through taking resposibility for his past decisions (the alternative to making yourself happy in that type of situation is accepting a lifetime of misery). Good luck to you both! |
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Ummm
Jmo But YOU are his back up plan Kinds east to see by your writing I think your either not admitting it to yourself. Take a step back and look Good luck to you Jmo 
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Ok, your only 20 years old. Why would you want to deal with this kind of drama? You should totally ditch this guy and live your life. Remember you only have one(life), and do you want to live it in HIS web of drama?
You really need to find someone without kids, to focus on YOU. *This is the reason I do NOT want to date a man with kids*  Hypocritical? No way. |
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Ok, your only 20 years old. Why would you want to deal with this kind of drama? You should totally ditch this guy and live your life. Remember you only have one(life), and do you want to live it in HIS web of drama? You really need to find someone without kids, to focus on YOU. *This is the reason I do NOT want to date a man with kids* Hypocritical? No way. (((hellkittah)))! 
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Agree with Jess.
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