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| Topic: hardest situation | |
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Ok so I guess this falls under this forum So heres my story:
I am dating a guy I have been with for a year and 3 months & I love him more than anything but he's had a hard life... He had a baby with a girl who left him and married a new guy and put his name on the birth certificate! Long story short he has barely seen his daughter for the past 2 years! He has mentioned before that the mom gets jealous when he has a gf bc she wants him as a backup plan! Well now she just got a divorce and Im so worried she will come around asking for him back! We have talked about it and he says he doesnt know what he would do and hopes hes not put in that situation bc on one hand he would be with a terrible woman but see his daughter everyday and on the other he would be with a woman he loves and have to still wait around for the money to get court fees to get his daughter! I understand he wants to see his daughter but he CAN have both me and his daughter if he waits it out for the money! Its just so hard waiting around for the possibility of losing someone you love! I just dont know what to do! |
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its not right for a man to be kept from his kid.if he wants to be a father, you cant stop that
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He's talking about going back with his ex "just to be with his daughter" but he loves you? Who's the back-up here, you or him?
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Edited by
Jess642
on
Tue 07/28/09 06:47 PM
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What a tangled web!
He needs DNA testing to prove the child is his, then have the courts amend the child's birth certificate, and then make a claim for access or custody... and in the meantime pay child support... |
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He's talking about going back with his ex "just to be with his daughter" but he loves you? Who's the back-up here, you or him? I totally agree.I know that it hurts like hell to lose the one u love.But in the long run u deserve better.  |
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if he has been with you for over a yr and he doesnt know what he would do if this situation arrises.... then you are just plain wasting your time.. cause if he loved you back he would know what he would do already....he would stay with you if he loved you
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Ok so I guess this falls under this forum So heres my story: I am dating a guy I have been with for a year and 3 months & I love him more than anything but he's had a hard life... He had a baby with a girl who left him and married a new guy and put his name on the birth certificate! Long story short he has barely seen his daughter for the past 2 years! He has mentioned before that the mom gets jealous when he has a gf bc she wants him as a backup plan! Well now she just got a divorce and Im so worried she will come around asking for him back! We have talked about it and he says he doesnt know what he would do and hopes hes not put in that situation bc on one hand he would be with a terrible woman but see his daughter everyday and on the other he would be with a woman he loves and have to still wait around for the money to get court fees to get his daughter! I understand he wants to see his daughter but he CAN have both me and his daughter if he waits it out for the money! Its just so hard waiting around for the possibility of losing someone you love! I just dont know what to do! Awwwwww I feel for ya'. Honestly if this guy wanted it done badly enough he would have found a way somehow to get the money and get this thing over with way before now. I think it's a load of crap when people say they just can't get the money together to have access to their child. I worked 2 jobs and took out a trade with my lawyer for some computer work to get my stuff in order. You do what you have to protect your rights to your children. He needs to step up and get 'er done. Sorry that sounded harsh, but I hear excuses like this from my ex often. If you want something bad enough, you'll find a way to do it. Good luck....
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if he has been with you for over a yr and he doesnt know what he would do if this situation arrises.... then you are just plain wasting your time.. cause if he loved you back he would know what he would do already....he would stay with you if he loved you And be saving the money to go to court to get his kid back. |
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Depending on what city you live in, there are a lot of parental rights advocacy groups that can help out in situations like this.
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Edited by
FearandLoathing
on
Tue 07/28/09 07:01 PM
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Ok so I guess this falls under this forum So heres my story: I am dating a guy I have been with for a year and 3 months & I love him more than anything but he's had a hard life... He had a baby with a girl who left him and married a new guy and put his name on the birth certificate! Long story short he has barely seen his daughter for the past 2 years! He has mentioned before that the mom gets jealous when he has a gf bc she wants him as a backup plan! Well now she just got a divorce and Im so worried she will come around asking for him back! We have talked about it and he says he doesnt know what he would do and hopes hes not put in that situation bc on one hand he would be with a terrible woman but see his daughter everyday and on the other he would be with a woman he loves and have to still wait around for the money to get court fees to get his daughter! I understand he wants to see his daughter but he CAN have both me and his daughter if he waits it out for the money! Its just so hard waiting around for the possibility of losing someone you love! I just dont know what to do! Stop basing "facts" off his word...some people have this odd tendency to lie quite often, while other people have this silly problem of believing things in the veil of love. |
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What a tangled web! He needs DNA testing to prove the child is his, then have the courts amend the child's birth certificate, and then make a claim for access or custody... and in the meantime pay child support... But then if she's gettin a divorce the 'father' on the birth cert must have DNA testing... So they can pursue child support. Why not just horn in on the deal. |
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What a tangled web! He needs DNA testing to prove the child is his, then have the courts amend the child's birth certificate, and then make a claim for access or custody... and in the meantime pay child support... But then if she's gettin a divorce the 'father' on the birth cert must have DNA testing... So they can pursue child support. Why not just horn in on the deal. Well that makes sense... Notice I didn't mention either woman, just the child and the biological father?  ?
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if he has been with you for over a yr and he doesnt know what he would do if this situation arrises.... then you are just plain wasting your time.. cause if he loved you back he would know what he would do already....he would stay with you if he loved you Thats what Im screaming. He already knows what he'd do by saying " he doesnt know", he wont stay with you hun.You seem like the backup plan here, not him. Best of Luck to ya !!! |
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Ok so I guess this falls under this forum So heres my story: I am dating a guy I have been with for a year and 3 months & I love him more than anything but he's had a hard life... He had a baby with a girl who left him and married a new guy and put his name on the birth certificate! Long story short he has barely seen his daughter for the past 2 years! He has mentioned before that the mom gets jealous when he has a gf bc she wants him as a backup plan! Well now she just got a divorce and Im so worried she will come around asking for him back! We have talked about it and he says he doesnt know what he would do and hopes hes not put in that situation bc on one hand he would be with a terrible woman but see his daughter everyday and on the other he would be with a woman he loves and have to still wait around for the money to get court fees to get his daughter! I understand he wants to see his daughter but he CAN have both me and his daughter if he waits it out for the money! Its just so hard waiting around for the possibility of losing someone you love! I just dont know what to do! I am sorry but something sounds very wrong with this story. Why has he barely seen his dtr in the past two years? How do you know he would get his dtr if he had the court fee's ( I assume lawyer's fee's). Are you sure they were divorced to start with?? |
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I am sorry but something sounds very wrong with this story. Why has he barely seen his dtr in the past two years? How do you know he would get his dtr if he had the court fee's ( I assume lawyer's fee's). Are you sure they were divorced to start with?? He has been in and out of work the past 2 yrs and hasnt had a stable job so he hasnt started the process for fear that he will get unemployed and sent to jail when he cant pay child support! If he has the fees he should get his daughter bc he is the biological father and the mom has been noncompliant with some of the court orders so far! and he just said she signed the divorce papers today and her husband moved out with another woman! |
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Edited by
Jess642
on
Tue 07/28/09 07:44 PM
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He has been in and out of work the past 2 yrs and hasnt had a stable job so he hasnt started the process for fear that he will get unemployed and sent to jail when he cant pay child support! If he has the fees he should get his daughter bc he is the biological father and the mom has been noncompliant with some of the court orders so far! and he just said she signed the divorce papers today and her husband moved out with another woman! Hmmm...so he has some sort of court orders in place? He's paying child support for a child that doesn't have his name already... Sent to gaol for not paying child support, because someone is unemployed??? Really? How's that working out for your country at the moment, with unemployment skyrocketing? I'm completely lost here... Guy is with girl...girl conceives a child... parents separate, prior to birth of child? New husband's name is on child's birth certificate. Marriage ends, divorce finalised. Current girlfriend either about to be ditched, or something, for old girlfriend, because she has the biological child to the impregnator... and he is too scared to go to court for access or custody because he may end up in gaol, for being unemployed? Is this jerry Springer?  |
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Sorry to say but if the boy really loved you he would not even consider going back to his ex no matter what. Sounds to me he is using the kid as and excuse when it does happen.
As far as the court cost he can contact the DA's Office for Legal help. Besides that if child support has already been set child support and visitation rights are two different things and have nothing to do with the other. If in fact he has not seen his daughter hardly within those 2 years that was his choice and to me a sorry choice at that. Being out of work is just another excuse what does that have to do with seeing his kid? All I can say is turn and walk away your being used as a back up he is just waiting hoping his ex wants him back. JMO Oppps just realized the guy she is divorcing now is on the Birth Certificate hummm well unless he gets a DNA test done as far as the courts go that child is not his.... |
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He has been in and out of work the past 2 yrs and hasnt had a stable job so he hasnt started the process for fear that he will get unemployed and sent to jail when he cant pay child support! If he has the fees he should get his daughter bc he is the biological father and the mom has been noncompliant with some of the court orders so far! and he just said she signed the divorce papers today and her husband moved out with another woman! I saw this movie... |
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Ok so I guess this falls under this forum So heres my story: I am dating a guy I have been with for a year and 3 months & I love him more than anything but he's had a hard life... He had a baby with a girl who left him and married a new guy and put his name on the birth certificate! Long story short he has barely seen his daughter for the past 2 years! He has mentioned before that the mom gets jealous when he has a gf bc she wants him as a backup plan! Well now she just got a divorce and Im so worried she will come around asking for him back! We have talked about it and he says he doesnt know what he would do and hopes hes not put in that situation bc on one hand he would be with a terrible woman but see his daughter everyday and on the other he would be with a woman he loves and have to still wait around for the money to get court fees to get his daughter! I understand he wants to see his daughter but he CAN have both me and his daughter if he waits it out for the money! Its just so hard waiting around for the possibility of losing someone you love! I just dont know what to do! Stop basing "facts" off his word...some people have this odd tendency to lie quite often, while other people have this silly problem of believing things in the veil of love. So very true and very well put |
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Sorry. I would never be anybodys back up plan....
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