Previous 1 3 4
Topic: How Nice is Too Nice?
no photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:04 AM
Now, none of us come here to make enemies, quite the contrary I would think.
But would you want to be liked by everyone?
Not only online, but in real life too?

I never claim to be nice, because I’m not.
I’m opinionated, I have an attitude and I have a sometimes wicked sense of humour.
So I’m not everyone’s cup of tea to begin with.
And, to be honest, I don’t want to be, because there are people that would just put me off, that’s me, and that’s the way it is. Of course, I do have my times when I’m sorta moody, or when I get angry for that matter. Then I log off and wait until I have my cool back, no biggy.

Of course, we are all different.
I see quite a lot like me, then there are the ones picking an argument whenever they can, and there are the ‘sucker uppers’.

Now, these are a totally different kettle of fish. They agree with everything anyone might say, and if they have to take a different position 3 times in the same thread, they will do so. It seems they want to be liked by everyone, no matter how high the price, they just want to belong. And when they think someone looked the wrong way at them, they hide their profile and sulk, but never for long, after a few minutes they are back and post some place else. Quite a moody lot it seems.

I was thinking about that, and wondered if I ever wanted to be like that. And I decided, no way. I’d rather be me, have a few friends and no need to pretend to be something I’m not, and that is NICE.

I was wondering whether it is just insecurity that makes people wanting to be nice.

Also, how do others perceive these ‘jay – sayers’?

Would others want to date them?
I mean, people are not like that by nature, and sometime something just has to give.
Is it not some kind of deception when all is said and done?

How would you like to be seen?

Being you, even if it means to step on toes every now and then?

Or as one of the ‘yes’ people?


So, how far would you go to be liked, and how high a price are you prepared to pay for it?

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:10 AM
eeeeeeeew nice ill

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:12 AM

eeeeeeeew nice ill


Yeah, I know.

I don't think either of us has a chance in that sort of competition.ohwell

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:14 AM
yeah well i just be me and if thats not nice so be it winking

4974's photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:16 AM
my motto...iam me i like me...if you don't your loss not mine. won't change for anyone. however i try to treat everyone with respect, and how i want to be treated

feistybaby's photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:21 AM
I am a very bad dancer. I step on toes right and left. Tact and diplomacy have never been strong points with me. I prefer in your face honesty. Am I popular, probably not though I know who my friends are. Do I care that I am not popular? Not in the least. I am not here to be Ms. Popular. In fact I am usually sitting here laughing at the ones that do vie for the mr/mrs Popular titles. You can see a variety of manuevers going on trying to attain this title humor, sarcasm, jealousy that someone might be getting more responses, to down right meanness and attacks. The one I love most though is the one I call the interruption where persons will come into a thread or forum and try to draw attention away from the subject at hand and onto themselfs. My whole point here is that I feel you should just be yourself. Most people are not always nice 24/7. Everyone has moods and they change. You don't have to be sugar sweet nice to be liked and respected for who you are. flowerforyou

Jtevans's photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:22 AM
i don't care if people like me anymore or not.i'm not changing for anyone.i'm not on this earth to please people

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:23 AM
Edited by iam4u on Wed 08/05/09 04:46 AM
I HATE yes people and anything worth having, is worth NOT lieing for.

The true value of one's self worth is written by all who knew them.

If being liked, makes you reflict someone elses face,
Then let it be THEIR name you put infront of your place.

To be who you are, is simply the truth to all you speak.

Better you tomorrow, who lives to not hurt others today.

A man of many faces, seldom see's his own...

If you cannot identify who you are, then maybe its not YOU.

To live life un-noticed, is to live life just passing through.

Never knowing you, Is a stranger you need call, "friend".

Time is unimportant, if your not living it now.

A wise man, will always know he is not one.



I cannot be anyone else, so I have to be me.

If my me, is not liked so be it, if it is great,
But I will only be seen by others for the one they see me to be,wink.


no photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:27 AM
So far everyone pretty much feels the same way I do.

I rather prefer to be me as well.:smile:

Sommer41's photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:28 AM

Now, none of us come here to make enemies, quite the contrary I would think.
But would you want to be liked by everyone?
Not only online, but in real life too?

I never claim to be nice, because I’m not.
I’m opinionated, I have an attitude and I have a sometimes wicked sense of humour.
So I’m not everyone’s cup of tea to begin with.
And, to be honest, I don’t want to be, because there are people that would just put me off, that’s me, and that’s the way it is. Of course, I do have my times when I’m sorta moody, or when I get angry for that matter. Then I log off and wait until I have my cool back, no biggy.

Of course, we are all different.
I see quite a lot like me, then there are the ones picking an argument whenever they can, and there are the ‘sucker uppers’.

Now, these are a totally different kettle of fish. They agree with everything anyone might say, and if they have to take a different position 3 times in the same thread, they will do so. It seems they want to be liked by everyone, no matter how high the price, they just want to belong. And when they think someone looked the wrong way at them, they hide their profile and sulk, but never for long, after a few minutes they are back and post some place else. Quite a moody lot it seems.

I was thinking about that, and wondered if I ever wanted to be like that. And I decided, no way. I’d rather be me, have a few friends and no need to pretend to be something I’m not, and that is NICE.

I was wondering whether it is just insecurity that makes people wanting to be nice.

Also, how do others perceive these ‘jay – sayers’?

Would others want to date them?
I mean, people are not like that by nature, and sometime something just has to give.
Is it not some kind of deception when all is said and done?

How would you like to be seen?

Being you, even if it means to step on toes every now and then?

Or as one of the ‘yes’ people?


So, how far would you go to be liked, and how high a price are you prepared to pay for it?



Hallo, invisible.

I sort of get where you coming from.

Am I nice? Yes, I believe I am. In that umbrella of 'nice' I can be strident, I can stand up for myself and I can get my point across.

How do I like to be seen? I'm not sure, so I care what the general public think of me? Yes I do.

I am respectful, I find it annoying when a woman with a double kinderwagon is on a narrow path and people do not give way to her, people who are not aware of their surroundings. So they stroll on through and leave her to wait till the narrow path is clear.

I find it obnoxious when people play loud music in their cars, for two reasons, one: How are they to hear an emergency vehicle approaching? Two: If I wanted to be listening to their music, I would be sitting in their car.

A couple of examples of my day to day life...

Forum life? I am pretty nice in my exchanges, I may be a tad sharp sometimes, I may be somewhat aloof, in that I do not claim that I have many friends, because I cannot be arsed with the crap that is associated with that and get wrapped up in it.

I am not on any forum to be popular, I like forums, I find them interesting and a great study of human behaviour... I'm here because it suits me.

Too nice? I don't like people who are sort of insipid and wet. I like strong people, like youself, people who know the art of debate, people who are not afraid to stand up and say what they think. Inspid gives me a feeling of nausea, and I have been known to virtually shake them and say 'step out of being nice and tell me what you really think'

Kindness is something I like, more than nice, kindness is an art, true kindness. Those that take the time to be kind, are my sort of people, people that I would go out of my way to spend time with...

Forum behaviour grants being nice, because people do not want to be banned, so it pushes real feelings underground. I never block people, I do, however if they have a problem with me, give them one chance to get it off their chest what they feel about me, then I tell them 'You don't like me, so don't bother emailing me, they will be deleted unopened'

Human nature eh? How fragile and weak the brain is at times...




BonnyMiss's photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:42 AM
I am guarded almost all of the time when I am here, reason? I don't think I want to be too open to all and sundry on the internet. I am not sure if people are who they say they are ( and vice versa) For the best part I have a good timehere and cannot say that I have had too many "confrontational" posts. I take people on the internet at face value, to evaluate each person's character here on this site is a daunting prospect,too many differences.

However, I like to think I am fair-minded and accept (for the most part)people for who they seem to be.........Does that make me a "yes" person? Perhaps, but then, I don't care how people perceive me,they are entitled to their own opinions and I respect that.Those who are important to me are living in the same town as myself and I can visit them knowing they accept me for who I am, and I them.BTW, Invisible, I can see you. laugh

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:43 AM
I think most people would like to be liked by everyone, it's nice to feel wanted and accepted and appreciated. However, I think most people also realize that this is completely unrealistic. People will not like you, sometimes for no reason at all, and there are many people I don't like, often for nothing I can clearly articulate.

Do I try to get along? Yes. Do I try to be tactful and respectful (failing miserably occasionally). Yes. On here, though, as in real life, I do try to choose my battles. Often, things are not worth the time, energy and emotion they take, as they're relatively small blips in the great grand scheme of my life. Do I do these things at the expense of my true self. No. I'll admit, I used to, it took me a looooooooooooong time to get past that and frankly, I will never go back to being a doormat.

catseyes1's photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:49 AM
I can be nice when I am treated the way I treat people. But I can be not nice when I am disrespected and treated like ****.

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:49 AM

Now, none of us come here to make enemies, quite the contrary I would think.
But would you want to be liked by everyone?
Not only online, but in real life too?

I never claim to be nice, because I’m not.
I’m opinionated, I have an attitude and I have a sometimes wicked sense of humour.
So I’m not everyone’s cup of tea to begin with.
And, to be honest, I don’t want to be, because there are people that would just put me off, that’s me, and that’s the way it is. Of course, I do have my times when I’m sorta moody, or when I get angry for that matter. Then I log off and wait until I have my cool back, no biggy.

Of course, we are all different.
I see quite a lot like me, then there are the ones picking an argument whenever they can, and there are the ‘sucker uppers’.

Now, these are a totally different kettle of fish. They agree with everything anyone might say, and if they have to take a different position 3 times in the same thread, they will do so. It seems they want to be liked by everyone, no matter how high the price, they just want to belong. And when they think someone looked the wrong way at them, they hide their profile and sulk, but never for long, after a few minutes they are back and post some place else. Quite a moody lot it seems.

I was thinking about that, and wondered if I ever wanted to be like that. And I decided, no way. I’d rather be me, have a few friends and no need to pretend to be something I’m not, and that is NICE.

I was wondering whether it is just insecurity that makes people wanting to be nice.

Also, how do others perceive these ‘jay – sayers’?

Would others want to date them?
I mean, people are not like that by nature, and sometime something just has to give.
Is it not some kind of deception when all is said and done?

How would you like to be seen?

Being you, even if it means to step on toes every now and then?

Or as one of the ‘yes’ people?


So, how far would you go to be liked, and how high a price are you prepared to pay for it?



Its August 5th the eclipse, we are all so deep hearted this morning between 4 and 6 am..
------------------------------------------------------------------
I never claim to be nice, because I’m not.
I’m opinionated, I'm spiritual, I have an attitude and I have a sometimes wicked sense of thinking.
So I’m not everyone’s cup of tea to begin with.
And, to be honest, I don’t want to be, because there are people that would just put me off, that’s me, and that’s the way it is. Of course, I do have my times when I’m sorta moody, or when I get silly for that matter!
------------------------------------------------------------------

I loved this part! I think this says everything in a day about everyone! It is what We, or I' could have though but could not have put in words.
-------------------------------
Would others want to date them? Yes and NO! everyone likes something different! Some like the Wild and some like the sweet!

I mean, people are not like that by nature! I use to be Mean! I was raised Mean! or Do you want to say, I use to be a strong women broken in time, to only stand up and find I was gone! so to be nice is only a part of me, to be strong is who i am!

Is it not some kind of deception when all is said and done? God made the Flowers, the butterfly and bee's, He also made Tornadoes, Volcanoes and Earthquakes, is that not the same as a Beautiful heart or a Mean vindictive spirit!

How would you like to be seen? I'm a B!tch, I'm a Lover, I'm a mother in disguise, I am everything you could ever want and more! I'm no fool, i have a softer side but to show it could mean I am weak! I love from my soul and hate from my mind, I curse under my breath and praise with a voice. We are women, we are mothers, we are friends to all. We are everything, everything to everyone. But to are self's we are just a sin.

Being you, even if it means to step on toes every now and then?

Or as one of the ‘yes’ people?

I am my own person I am a mother, I praise where it belongs and i discipline where it is needed. I give love from my heart and comfort to the hurting, I am a mother no more no less i speak from my heart and rule with my soul as my mind lays awaiting until I find a topic i would like to join! I do not care what others say or think why you ask.. No need! I know who I am!


no photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:51 AM

I am guarded almost all of the time when I am here, reason? I don't think I want to be too open to all and sundry on the internet. I am not sure if people are who they say they are ( and vice versa) For the best part I have a good timehere and cannot say that I have had too many "confrontational" posts. I take people on the internet at face value, to evaluate each person's character here on this site is a daunting prospect,too many differences.

However, I like to think I am fair-minded and accept (for the most part)people for who they seem to be.........Does that make me a "yes" person? Perhaps, but then, I don't care how people perceive me,they are entitled to their own opinions and I respect that.Those who are important to me are living in the same town as myself and I can visit them knowing they accept me for who I am, and I them.BTW, Invisible, I can see you. laugh



Shoot, invisibility booster broken again.grumble

no photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:52 AM
on the net i treat others how i am treated...real life, i may try a bit more tact, but i am me and that's all there is to it...

BonnyMiss's photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:54 AM



Shoot, invisibility booster broken again.grumble


I have the power and can see right through your force shield.


John1932's photo
Wed 08/05/09 04:59 AM
Edited by John1932 on Wed 08/05/09 05:12 AM
There is a difference in 1)being a yes man or yes woman and 2)agreeing on someones point of view.
You may have your own opinion, but if someone makes a good point against your opinion, then what is wrong with saying, "Good Point" or "that's True" or "Good Job". Someone may write an excellent poem, or a great article, I may not agree to what that poem or article says, but I will still recognize that the writing style and imagination is good, so when i tell someone that it was a good write, it doesn't always mean that I agree with what it says, but could very well mean that they did a good job and put some effort and skill into the style in which they wrote it.

I have my own opinions, but if I am debating an issue and someone makes a good point against my opinion, I will let them know they have made a good point. That is not being a Yes man. That is being someone who agrees to disagree. I guess that is the nice side of me, the side that wants to respect other peoples opinion while still standing firm to my own.

I want to be a nice person because thats who I am, not because I want people to think I'm nice. hope that makes sense.



no photo
Wed 08/05/09 05:02 AM

There is a difference in 1)being a yes man or yes woman and 2)agreeing on someones point of view.
You may have your own opinion, but if someone makes a good point against your opinion, then what is wrong with saying, "Good Point" or "thats True" or "Good Job"

I have my own opinions, but if I am debating an issue and someone makes a good point against my opinion, I will let them know they have made a good point. That is not being a Yes man. That is being someone who agrees to disagree. I guess that is the nice side of me, the side that wants to respect other peoples opinion while still standing firm to my own.

I want to be a nice person because thats who I am, not because I want people to think I'm nice. hope that makes sense.





Well, yes. It is good to be able to agree to disagree, but would you say yes to three different opinions without having your own?

I think not.

Sommer41's photo
Wed 08/05/09 05:16 AM

I am guarded almost all of the time when I am here, reason? I don't think I want to be too open to all and sundry on the internet. I am not sure if people are who they say they are ( and vice versa) For the best part I have a good timehere and cannot say that I have had too many "confrontational" posts. I take people on the internet at face value, to evaluate each person's character here on this site is a daunting prospect,too many differences.

However, I like to think I am fair-minded and accept (for the most part)people for who they seem to be.........Does that make me a "yes" person? Perhaps, but then, I don't care how people perceive me,they are entitled to their own opinions and I respect that.Those who are important to me are living in the same town as myself and I can visit them knowing they accept me for who I am, and I them.BTW, Invisible, I can see you. laugh



Hi Bonny

I have not been here very long, but I do feel a sense of what you say above, certainly cemented by the few exchanges you and I have had in a topic.

I am fond of the 'yes person' term and that I describe in my 'nice' arena, I have come across those 'yes people' and if that works for them, fabulous, but I do avoid them, because I like a discussion and a one liner does not do much for me in a debate. Even when a person disagrees with me, I can somehow sense that they are a person I would like to have more discussions with.

There are not many topics that I shy away from and for those that know me from another forum, they would nod their heads in agreement, but I cannot control how others feel about my writing.

Ultimately, I can log off, I can walk away with a click of the button. I call it self responsibility, I take what I write as my own, I take responsibility for it and if I have offended any person, I will make good, but if they choose to continue some campaign against me and attempt to discredit me, then I shrug my internet shoulders and sigh 'ah well'

Why I never feel harrassed or stalked, as many I have come across do.

Nice to see you again...


Previous 1 3 4