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Topic: Single Fathers
YourDaddyDerek's photo
Sat 12/12/09 02:19 AM
My wife and I split, and I have the kids. Is it harder for a single father to find a woman ready to take on that kind of luggage or is it harder for single mothers to find a man to take on that responsibility?

LadyOfMagic's photo
Sat 12/12/09 02:24 AM

My wife and I split, and I have the kids. Is it harder for a single father to find a woman ready to take on that kind of luggage or is it harder for single mothers to find a man to take on that responsibility?

I've dated single dad's..not a big deal..I love kids..and when the guy is the one raising the kids it shows he's a good guy..Too many single mama's out there and have been for YEARS.

yellowrose10's photo
Sat 12/12/09 02:32 AM
I'm a single mom. My son is 18 now, but it hasn't been a problem for me. People know that my son has a dad and not looking to replace that. Plus he is a good kid and people like him

aladytoo's photo
Sat 12/12/09 03:14 AM
I think both single moms or dad, that are raising kids alone,have a great responsibility.And feel thats should be first.When dating for me a man that has children at home,as never been an issue.They have a mom...i'm not there to replace her.I have a son 23 he's in collage,been on his own for 5 years.So I do understand being a parent, with responsibilities.

Jim519's photo
Sat 12/12/09 03:50 AM
Two things I see wrong here....
Your view as the children being "luggage"---Having children is a reward, a pleasure in life..not luggage...

Your actually asking if its a problem for women when dating. Who cares if it is for some? Yes, it is going to be a problem for some, but that should not matter to you whatsoever. It is what it is, you have to be positive about this 150%, and for those women that have a problem with it? Send them on their way immediately..

Be happy you have your children. Most Dads dont get that benefit, always be there for your children...Your time will come down the road. You can NEVER get back the time with your kids


laughsandgiggles's photo
Sat 12/12/09 04:57 AM

Two things I see wrong here....
Your view as the children being "luggage"---Having children is a reward, a pleasure in life..not luggage...

Your actually asking if its a problem for women when dating. Who cares if it is for some? Yes, it is going to be a problem for some, but that should not matter to you whatsoever. It is what it is, you have to be positive about this 150%, and for those women that have a problem with it? Send them on their way immediately..

Be happy you have your children. Most Dads dont get that benefit, always be there for your children...Your time will come down the road. You can NEVER get back the time with your kids


I agree!! children are not luggage or baggage or a burden! thay are a gift!!! If a woman has a problem with the fact that you are a single father- then you don't need her in your life- Your children should be your first priority. There are plenty of women out there that would have no problem- in fact they would welcome it-with dating a man who is raising his children. I think its a asset!!

tomohawk's photo
Sat 12/12/09 05:17 AM
Edited by tomohawk on Sat 12/12/09 05:18 AM

Two things I see wrong here....
Your view as the children being "luggage"---Having children is a reward, a pleasure in life..not luggage...

Your actually asking if its a problem for women when dating. Who cares if it is for some? Yes, it is going to be a problem for some, but that should not matter to you whatsoever. It is what it is, you have to be positive about this 150%, and for those women that have a problem with it? Send them on their way immediately..

Be happy you have your children. Most Dads dont get that benefit, always be there for your children...Your time will come down the road. You can NEVER get back the time with your kids




Absolutely spot on.I am also a single father and I feel lucky to have my daughter with me all the time.How many fathers, after a relationship breakdown,get to kiss their children goodnight everyday.When the right woman comes along she will accept you and your children into her life,there are a lot of single parents out there in the same position.Until then count your blessings mate and enjoy what you have now.

no photo
Sat 12/12/09 05:19 AM
The Brady Bunch seemed to do ok....laugh

I don't think you will have trouble. Just remember to take plenty of time to heal and keep your kids feelings in mind, especially at first. They might be a bit skittish about new people taking away Daddy's time.

tanyaann's photo
Sat 12/12/09 06:21 AM
Both, Neither, and all of the above.

Dating is dating. I don't think that it's particularly easy for anyone.

Part of dating is understanding and being consideration of the other person's life/situation... Your children are a part of you. Be sure to disclose your situation to someone that you are intersted in... Then it's up to the other person to determine if the whole package is for them.

Good luck.

no photo
Sat 12/12/09 06:38 AM
I figure any woman over the age of 18 up to age 55 has kids living with them. I am 51 and my 18 yr old daughter lives with me. Not baggage, or luggage or 'in the way'. Just the modern family configuration.

XenomorphEyez's photo
Sat 12/12/09 07:38 AM
If you are having trouble, find other single parents.

Ruth34611's photo
Sat 12/12/09 07:45 AM
Yes, dating is much harder when you have kids. You have to be careful about who you date and who you expose your children to. My children have never met anyone I have dated. OK. I've only been on 2 dates in the last 2 years, but that's not the point. :tongue:

The point is that you do have to take your children into consideration if you are looking for a life partner. And, yes, it is going to be harder than if you were without children. But, it is worth it because your children are worth it. My children are the most important thing in my life and they are worth every sacrifice I make for them. Yours are too, but I know you already know that. flowerforyou

Ruth34611's photo
Sat 12/12/09 07:47 AM
Oh, and having "born loser" for your occupation is also going to make it much harder to attract a good woman. Your profile needs some serious work. flowerforyou

msharmony's photo
Sat 12/12/09 08:01 AM

My wife and I split, and I have the kids. Is it harder for a single father to find a woman ready to take on that kind of luggage or is it harder for single mothers to find a man to take on that responsibility?


I think most women will probably see you as a hero and be more endeared to you. I think men see single moms as irresponsible and burdensome unless they are single parents themselves.


Id say its probably easier for a man to find a woman who wants to be a part of his life when she sees he takes on the responsibility for his kids.

YourDaddyDerek's photo
Sat 12/12/09 02:10 PM
ONE, I dont view my kids as luggage...and lets all be honest here, on coming women will see it like that. Im not looking for a new baby momma, I got this....but i am also new at this. Im only 27 years old and this has all been sprung on me in the past year....i just feel overwhelmed at times. Not with being a parent but with life in general. I get frustrated because i cant even do my daughters hair, i cant even conquer that!!!! what am i going to do with a woman? BUUUUT, I get lonely. Kids will only cuddle for so long. lol.....I dunno, i guess maybe i fear that me being a single father of three, their momma being a drug addict (which equals drama), and the fact i have no idea where my life is going...just might scare women off. WHICH is fine, i just want honest opinions so that if that really is the case, I can quit holding on to hope.

tanyaann's photo
Sat 12/12/09 03:16 PM
Edited by tanyaann on Sat 12/12/09 03:17 PM
Well, your frustration and confusion and fear of the unknown is commom. And I am sure if you ask any of the women on here that have raised multiple male children will have expressed the same concerns.

Adopt the single parent mantra 'You just do it!'

I don't know how many people have said to me... I don't know how you do it. (I am a single mother of one young son and graduate student). And I always tell them, I just do it!

Breath! Focus on your children. Don't forget to do self-care and get breaks. If someone comes along and fits into your life, great!... if not, be happy with yourself and your life as is.

Never 'quit holding on to hope'... finding the 'right' person takes time.. and this is no different with or without children.


no photo
Sat 12/12/09 03:18 PM

If you are having trouble, find other single parents.


Excellent advice.

cherie091279's photo
Sat 12/12/09 03:26 PM
I have no problems with dating a single father. The only thing that bothers me is that I tend to get attached to their child/children and when it doesn't work out, I not only lose the man I cared for, but his child/children as well.

YourDaddyDerek's photo
Sat 12/12/09 03:26 PM

If you are having trouble, find other single parents.



well...that would be mostly women, lol.




Well, your frustration and confusion and fear of the unknown is commom. And I am sure if you ask any of the women on here that have raised multiple male children will have expressed the same concerns.

Adopt the single parent mantra 'You just do it!'

I don't know how many people have said to me... I don't know how you do it. (I am a single mother of one young son and graduate student). And I always tell them, I just do it!

Breath! Focus on your children. Don't forget to do self-care and get breaks. If someone comes along and fits into your life, great!... if not, be happy with yourself and your life as is.

Never 'quit holding on to hope'... finding the 'right' person takes time.. and this is no different with or without children



Thank you.

YourDaddyDerek's photo
Sat 12/12/09 03:28 PM

I have no problems with dating a single father. The only thing that bothers me is that I tend to get attached to their child/children and when it doesn't work out, I not only lose the man I cared for, but his child/children as well.



and THATS my biggest fear, because of the attachments. It goes both ways, i dont want my kids to gain trust in another woman only to find out she disappears again.

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