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Topic: Whirlwind relationships.
munchiebellic's photo
Sun 01/03/10 08:10 PM
Hi to all my m2 friends, and all the new comers i have yet to meet. Since i last parted ways with m2 i have found myself in a new relationship. Apparently today makes a whole official month. Yay...i guess. Why do i feel so lonely? He lives 45 mins from me, but thats an interstate drive away. Easy i have made that drive plenty of times. You guys are going to tell me to run the other direction when i say this, but i will say it anyway. I really like this guy. The three times we have been together it has been great. But i feel like he is only in it for, well certain pleasurable things. Ok let me point out that we started out by having a one night stand. Well apparently he liked me and chased me via text until we went out and decided to date. Now we decided that we are exclusive to each other but all my attempts to see him, it seems he makes excuses. I understand your busy, you have a job, your family comes first. But come on, a 45 min drive is worth a few mins of being in his company. Im not in love with him, that i know of. He crosses my mind a few hundred times a day. But i dont know how to shake the feeling that he is only in it for the sex. Any advice?

no photo
Sun 01/03/10 08:12 PM
Yeah, its for the sex.

redhead44613's photo
Sun 01/03/10 08:49 PM
There is one way to tell that I know of.. worked for me. when ever you see him next do not have sex with him, no matter how hard is it don't do it. Do this a couple times and see if he still talks to you. If he only wants sex he will stop talking to you, if he wants more then just sex he will still talk to you an want to see you. Good luck!

no photo
Sun 01/03/10 08:53 PM
Maybe he really is busy. Are you initiating all the contact? If so, let him contact you. If a guy wants to talk to you or see you, he makes time. If enough time goes by where he never calls or texts or whatever and you never see each other, just let it go. You can't force someone to want you.

If this doesn't work out, the next time you get involved with someone, skip the one night stand if you want a real relationship. Once you get categorized as the "friends with benefits" girl it can be hard to get out of that role. Best of luck to you.flowerforyou

no photo
Sun 01/03/10 08:53 PM

There is one way to tell that I know of.. worked for me. when ever you see him next do not have sex with him, no matter how hard is it don't do it. Do this a couple times and see if he still talks to you. If he only wants sex he will stop talking to you, if he wants more then just sex he will still talk to you an want to see you. Good luck!


Good advice.

yellowrose10's photo
Sun 01/03/10 09:02 PM
have you talked to him about this?

Zack931's photo
Sun 01/03/10 11:02 PM
ask before you judge. not cryptic like either, be blunt. what are you looking for in a relationship? are you serious, or just more for fun?

munchiebellic's photo
Sun 01/03/10 11:18 PM
Edited by munchiebellic on Sun 01/03/10 11:37 PM
Ok, i have asked him and he says im more to him than a lay. I finally confronted him tonight and told him exactly how i felt and he apologized. We are better now.

no photo
Sun 01/03/10 11:25 PM
Glad it worked out for you.flowers

bigbayhrsrider's photo
Sun 01/03/10 11:34 PM
:banana: thats a great story ENDING..
best wishes ..flowerforyou

buttons's photo
Sun 01/03/10 11:43 PM
egads!!!!!!!!!!! ok so u had sex with him, it was a done deal that it was a one night stand.. yet u have seen him 3 times? and u dont love him? .. sooo my advice is feel lucky if this is what u decided on the first night and in return perhaps ot it 3 times?. feel lonely? i dont beleive this has a thing to do with him,,, but your own choices.. obviously u felt lonely anyway? and u made this agreement? so what is the real problem? if u now want a relationship go look for one...< one of not feeling like u have to be lonely> perhaps u desire more than a one night stand with someone now?

Jtevans's photo
Sun 01/03/10 11:45 PM
if you're referring to relationships that suck & blow....i love those flowerforyou drinker

buttons's photo
Sun 01/03/10 11:49 PM
u say u have made the drive plenty of times.. yet u state u have seen him 3 times.. to me that is few.. u agreed or knew it was just a one night stand in the first place.. so what makes u think he thought anything more than friend with benifit? since u continued on? if u have feelings u should tell him now that u want more than a one night stand... communicate! if he runs then oh well? u agreed to that situation... maybe it it hurts maybe u wont tell a guy u are ok with that the next time and u wont get hurt... thats all im getting at here...

buttons's photo
Mon 01/04/10 12:04 AM
to agree on the first night, a one night stand.. i really dont see the problem here.. i really think if u are thinking more that what YOU agreed to.. that is is rediculas to even care.. if u havent spoken to him about it.. men dont read womens minds.. u agreed to it.. and men are simple really.. in ways.. lol if that is what it was that is what it was...YOU agreed to it.. and why do u think they would come back for more? BECAUSE U agreed to it.. and they think that is ok... if it is not ok now after 3 dates or sexual encounters u have to tell them... cause i guarentee u.. its still ok with them lol! if not tell him.. if he doesnt want more he wont call u anymore.. and thats ok too cause remember... U agreed to it.. just think about all this..its in your hands... to communicate how U feel now.. that U feel different now.. than what U agreed on... that U opted to be ok with a one night stand.. and that is how U now feel.. that U are changing your mind on YOUR own decisions... and ant to know how he feels about it now... get his answers.. and make YOUR own decisions now... however never blame him for YOUR past decisions rather wrong or right for YOU...for the were your own!!

sagacious22's photo
Mon 01/04/10 12:26 AM

egads!!!!!!!!!!! ok so u had sex with him, it was a done deal that it was a one night stand.. yet u have seen him 3 times? and u dont love him? .. sooo my advice is feel lucky if this is what u decided on the first night and in return perhaps ot it 3 times?. feel lonely? i dont beleive this has a thing to do with him,,, but your own choices.. obviously u felt lonely anyway? and u made this agreement? so what is the real problem? if u now want a relationship go look for one...< one of not feeling like u have to be lonely> perhaps u desire more than a one night stand with someone now?


:thumbsup:

I just want to simply add that if this is how the relationship is now, what is there to look forward to later?

It's not going to get better. If you keep seeing this guy, and later on he tells you it's over, you're going to feel even worse. Get out while you can, don't let this guy use you to HIS advantage. Or at least keep your options open, because most likely he is.flowerforyou

yellowrose10's photo
Mon 01/04/10 12:36 AM

Ok, i have asked him and he says im more to him than a lay. I finally confronted him tonight and told him exactly how i felt and he apologized. We are better now.


I'm glad you talked to him. Communication is very important. No matter what the answer, at least you spoke your mind

buttons's photo
Mon 01/04/10 12:37 AM
Edited by buttons on Mon 01/04/10 12:37 AM


egads!!!!!!!!!!! ok so u had sex with him, it was a done deal that it was a one night stand.. yet u have seen him 3 times? and u dont love him? .. sooo my advice is feel lucky if this is what u decided on the first night and in return perhaps ot it 3 times?. feel lonely? i dont beleive this has a thing to do with him,,, but your own choices.. obviously u felt lonely anyway? and u made this agreement? so what is the real problem? if u now want a relationship go look for one...< one of not feeling like u have to be lonely> perhaps u desire more than a one night stand with someone now?


:thumbsup:

I just want to simply add that if this is how the relationship is now, what is there to look forward to later?

It's not going to get better. If you keep seeing this guy, and later on he tells you it's over, you're going to feel even worse. Get out while you can, don't let this guy use you to HIS advantage. Or at least keep your options open, because most likely he is.flowerforyou

but my point was... did he ever say it was going to get better? when it was agreed that it was a one night stand? really what is there to get out of? when.. it was agreed on that in the first place?

buttons's photo
Mon 01/04/10 12:48 AM
Edited by buttons on Mon 01/04/10 12:51 AM
a man when told.. its ok im good with a one night stand.. takes it as that! im sorry but i feel they do... if a woman changes her mind <which they do often> unlike man does... how does a woman expect more than what a man communicates? geesh im old! but i have learned.. not in this exact situation... but a man is more than likely to not change their mind as woman does! they are pretty straight forward to what a woman may think negative in the longrun<and change their mind about>...what they agreed upon... so i feel if they arent positvie about the chang< of the womans new thoughts> they are ok with that decision. <for that was the original agreement> in the future they need to learn to not go along with it.<the womans decision to agree with it>. and to not blame man.. for their own decisions..

sagacious22's photo
Mon 01/04/10 12:52 AM



Ok let me point out that we started out by having a one night stand. Well apparently he liked me and chased me via text until we went out and decided to date. Now we decided that we are exclusive to each other but all my attempts to see him, it seems he makes excuses. I understand your busy, you have a job, your family comes first. But come on, a 45 min drive is worth a few mins of being in his company. Im not in love with him, that i know of. He crosses my mind a few hundred times a day. But i dont know how to shake the feeling that he is only in it for the sex. Any advice?



doesn't say DECIDED ON one night stand, says started out as, meaning that the intention hadn't actually been established beyond that. And why are you arguing the point I made in agreeing with you?what huh

buttons's photo
Mon 01/04/10 12:56 AM
Edited by buttons on Mon 01/04/10 12:58 AM
lol im not arguing!!laugh :wink: discussing is all but look..

cut paste...
. Ok let me point out that we started out by having a one night stand. Well apparently he liked me and chased me via text until we went out and decided to date.

to me.... what i read is... it was even her idea! right?laugh :wink: the one night stand? that he chased her to have another few nights after it was agreed upon?

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