me too!!

But online is where they get their kicks!!!

Its sad but so true--After a while you build up the experience to spot it!

ronny4dating:
What else do you expect?
There're a lot of lonely and lusty bimbos who get excited with your naked torso -- you set an "irresistable" bate, for most, which they immediately bite. And, in return, they're trying to over-sell themselves to you, while you "bite their bate".
So, you deserve each other:
you catch "the small fish" that goes for your bate...

Ever heard such a thing as feeling completely "out of place" within a society?

There are many cases, that certain people end up in a defined group of people (within the society), where they do not belong at all, and unable to find his or her match.

For example, my best discussions ever in my life was with a doctor, (cancer therapist), living in the Carpathian Mountains (owning an entire cancer treatment facility, including horse farms and a giant mansion)

The other person I talked to a lot, was a newspaper writer/editor, who ran once to be a senator in Connecticut and also have a couple of millions on his account.

Of course, on that level, I can't even imagine to compete, since I neither have what it takes, which is wealth and titles to be accepted in the upper echelon and my only chance I get to talk to people like that and share thoughts, is because of them being distant relatives or my anonymous "profile" on the internet which doesn't discriminate based on wealth or status, only discriminate on the level of intelligence.

It's called "out of class" due to some sort of a misfortune event that you missed out or fell out from a specific class of similar minded, similar level people. In that class of people, you'd most likely find what you are looking for...although I wouldn't say that it's impossible to have someone like that even attempting to make an account on mingle2 or any dating sites, the chance of happening is possible, since if it happens to one, - by Murphy's law - it could or will happen to others as well..that is being misplaced.

What you may feel about your circumstances and current status quo, is the "Alice in Wonderland" effect (I just made that up), which basically means, that 99% of the people surrounding you here are absolutely not compatible from any angle.

Thank you Lex... the funny thing is, I was so passionate last night about just wanting to know what you feel that YOU need, want... that could be so far away from things say, the normal partially educated and caring person might want. When you spoke of Minglers stating their desires for a mate, only to basically make themselves LOOK good for the sake of who...? Other minglers, lol well... (sighs), I just don't see it. Again, my oppinion I'm entitled to it It may not be correct yet I have always been rather gullable I guess. The thing is, I don't put any of your requirements or desires in any different class than that of kindness, honesty, open communication or trusworthy, I mean to me I can not see someone that is intellegent, NOT being or wanting open communication or honesty. How intelligent would THAT be, lolo. To me, they basically go hand in hand. I myself should have thought of commitment, simply because one doesn't remain physically celibate for 14 years just to torture themselves. I take long term commitment and the ability to comprimise (both sides, nothing less), as a given. Again, in my own desires for a mate, a partner creativity is very important, in more ways than one yet there again, I played piano for years when young which has given me my appreciation and love of music which no day is compplete without, sang in the choir, was involved in many creative situatons where imagination was key to come up with the necessary effect one desired. I therefore admit to being wrong where this argument or discussion is concerned becuase without specifically stating those qualities, I never even realized that I was actually looking for them (if that makes any sense what so ever). I apoligize for asking you to list your attributes because they are not only very good and thoughtful, but they are ones that without even being aware, I hope to find in my own partner. Being friends is so very important to me yet I did not include that because it too fits nicely into another one of my peeves, the commitment area believe it or not. In don't know.. maybe I'm just losing it. I have always been either married or in a long term (no shorter that 10 year relationship and the longest one 19 years, is where I slep on the couch for 14 years! Go figure! But there were always responsibilities far more important than seeking divorce at that time so there again, it seems I take for granted some very important issues but menton the silly ones like kindness fredom of speech and trust perhaps because those things were not available to me in that marriage. Who knows why, but I questioned your attributes as if they would sound as fake or untrue (however you described them) as the other people on this site. I never really sat and thought about a detailed list like Calleigh did. Perhaps I should but I really don't like thnking I am that specific....

Thank you for taking the time and interest (well.. the time at least), to contribute to my curiousity Lex. Sometimes you are so in depth in your thinking and postings that I get lost, lol. I never claimed to be intelligent, just interested. Now that I have poured basically my entire screwed up life on the pages of Mingle2 here, I can only hope xomebody still talks to me here lol. Blessings Lex, many thanks and good luck with your book ad every other avenue you explore this year. Don't hesitate to bash me, I'll be back to see exactly where I am lacking and/or lying, lol!

One of the things I find puzzling about all this is the idea that what I'm looking for apparently IS so far away from the norm.

I really don't understand why that should be the case, and yet clearly it is.



I think what happens is that people say "I want a nice guy" or "Looks don't matter, it's what's on the inside that counts" almost reflexively, because that's what they think they're SUPPOSED to say. A lot of people are overly concerned with what others think of them, and they'll go pretty far to avoid being tagged as "superficial" or "shallow."

My point was that, here we have hundreds of people saying "I want such-and-such," and there are hundreds of "such-and-suches" all over the forums, and yet nothing is happening beyond the exchange of words on a screen. That tells me somebody isn't playing it straight.



Exactly -- because those things really work best if they stand together. I never really list "honesty" as a trait I look for in a partner, because a.) I've never seen it, and I'm not entirely sure it exists in that scenario, and b.) I would like to assume (and this may be entirely misguided here) that a good match for me would inherently realize the importance of honesty in the relationship.



Commitment strikes me as something I need to include in my list, because I have a long history of 3-month entanglements. I used to go into relationships basically assuming they would last about that long, because it was always after about 3 months that they would start trying to change me.

At this point, I would really like to try something a little more long-term. Say, 6 months....





But I think a lot of us would have those "unseen" preferences, too, if we really sat down and thought about it.

Creativity is a huge thing for me, because that's about all I do.

But I could say I'd prefer someone who was unrepentantly apolitical, because I'm essentially an anarchist and I have no use for the idea of "leaders" in a sanctioned sense. It's not a deal-breaker; it's just one of those things that could enter into the equation down the road.



The things you mention in your list are necessarily going to be those that are most at the forefront of your thought processes. It's normal. When there are things you don't have, or haven't had in awhile, things you've been deprived of (whether this is real or just a perception), things you see the need to address or to change, these are the things that are going to be at the top of your list.



I think it's healthy to question anything and everything. Look, if I couldn't come up with something better than "I like to go out or stay in," or "I love my friends and family," or "Anything you want to know, you'll have to ask," I would expect to be blasted for my sheer lameness.

People don't like having their cliches stepped on, but that's their problem. I get an almost perverse joy out of it.

On an almost entirely unrelated note, I recently changed my profile headline to "I Don't Know What To Write Here" -- blatant mockery, yes, because, as we all know, my profile is 1400 pages long....

So, I have no problem with your questioning me. There's no double standard here.



I don't think too many people do create such a detailed list. Calleigh is smart and deep and has the kind of intellect that allows for that sort of self-realization. I'm not sure how many others can approach that. Far easier to sit back and let other people, other profiles, other posters, make those decisions for them....



No bashing here. You've displayed a great deal of depth here, and that's not the sort of thing I would ever bash....!