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| Topic: Bad Behavior | |
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I hate to admit this...........but.........my kid is out of control!!! I am a bit of a push over for a (single)parent, I'll admit. I work nights and my parents(the babysitters) do not enforce any rules.
Any ideas on how to get kids to behave? I like the idea of positive reinforcement but have no ideas how to start |
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I idea would be to start by not calling him/her "bad".... just sayin
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A swift right hand making contact with tender butt cheek.
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a combination of the meeting of the hand against tender butt cheek, taking things away, and time outs. kind of depends on the age of the little angel- and how willing you and your parents are at enforcing the rules
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Boot to the head.
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Take away their Xbox headset.
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yeah, alright in keeping with the theme here..just smack em, that's a great idea, always works.
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there is a huge difference between discipline and beating your child- a spanking or a swat on the butt is not beating your child- i have only had to swat my child twice- it got the point across where nothing else worked- every child is different so you have to find out what works for you but the most important thing is to be consistent- if you tell your child if he/she misbehaves in public that they are to stop or you are taking them home- if they don't stop- then TAKE THEM HOME!!! do what you say you are going to do- so many parents threaten and then don't follow through- you have to establish authority- they need boundaries- you and your parents need to sit down and work those out
you can do this- good luck to you- OH and even though you will get all kinds of advice here- you do what is best for you and your child- it takes time and patience but having a well behaved, respectful loving child is well worth it |
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balance (discipline and reward) and consistency (do what you say you will do)
worked with us,,, |
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yeah, alright in keeping with the theme here..just smack em, that's a great idea, always works. spanking me worked, i got the idea, and i was only spanked 4 times ever. As has been pointed out, be consistent that includes making sure the grandparents are following through with punishments. |
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yeah, alright in keeping with the theme here..just smack em, that's a great idea, always works. spanking me worked, i got the idea, and i was only spanked 4 times ever. As has been pointed out, be consistent that includes making sure the grandparents are following through with punishments. ok, that's nice..not going into the spanking debate with ya'll again. I don't care..hit your kids, their yours ..none of my business |
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Edited by
Foliel
on
Thu 04/29/10 09:03 PM
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yeah, alright in keeping with the theme here..just smack em, that's a great idea, always works. spanking me worked, i got the idea, and i was only spanked 4 times ever. As has been pointed out, be consistent that includes making sure the grandparents are following through with punishments. ok, that's nice..not going into the spanking debate with ya'll again. I don't care..hit your kids, their yours ..none of my business spanking should not be used as the only punishment, it should always be a last resort, but what do you use on a child that doesnt care? My mom did the groundation, she took things away, she tried time outs...when all that failed what was she supposed to do? call the cops and have me arrested? I do not condone hitting kids, if you use it for the only form of punishment, but every kid is different and responds differently to punishments. Mom never hit my youngest sister, she didn't want to use that as a punishment. Now my sister walks all over my mom, swears at her, hits her, throws things, and in general has a bad attitude, but I guess thats ok as long as she never got spanked...groundation didn't work, she would just walk out anyways, time-outs didnt work as mom spent more time trying to keep her in time out than the time out actually was, Usually about an hour for 5 minutes. Take things away didnt work as my sister would just take it back. Mom refused to spank her cuz dss told her she couldnt and then mom was done. She couldn't do anything to punish her and now we have the results of it. Do I feel spanking should be used? No Do I feel it can be a good punishment if used correctly? Yes BUT it should never be the only punishment and it shouldn't be used frequently. As I said I was only spanked 4 times in my entire life, I learned that as soon as Mom used my middle name I was in trouble if I didn't stop. How do you punish a child that doesn't care? P.S I agree you lady, I just try to see it from my own upbringing compared to my sisters and how we are vastly different people. |
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yeah, alright in keeping with the theme here..just smack em, that's a great idea, always works. spanking me worked, i got the idea, and i was only spanked 4 times ever. As has been pointed out, be consistent that includes making sure the grandparents are following through with punishments. ok, that's nice..not going into the spanking debate with ya'll again. I don't care..hit your kids, their yours ..none of my business spanking should not be used as the only punishment, it should always be a last resort, but what do you use on a child that doesnt care? My mom did the groundation, she took things away, she tried time outs...when all that failed what was she supposed to do? call the cops and have me arrested? I do not condone hitting kids, if you use it for the only form of punishment, but every kid is different and responds differently to punishments. Mom never hit my youngest sister, she didn't want to use that as a punishment. Now my sister walks all over my mom, swears at her, hits her, throws things, and in general has a bad attitude, but I guess thats ok as long as she never got spanked...groundation didn't work, she would just walk out anyways, time-outs didnt work as mom spent more time trying to keep her in time out than the time out actually was, Usually about an hour for 5 minutes. Take things away didnt work as my sister would just take it back. Mom refused to spank her cuz dss told her she couldnt and then mom was done. She couldn't do anything to punish her and now we have the results of it. Do I feel spanking should be used? No Do I feel it can be a good punishment if used correctly? Yes BUT it should never be the only punishment and it shouldn't be used frequently. As I said I was only spanked 4 times in my entire life, I learned that as soon as Mom used my middle name I was in trouble if I didn't stop. How do you punish a child that doesn't care? P.S I agree you lady, I just try to see it from my own upbringing compared to my sisters and how we are vastly different people. definitely,, different things work for different children, but none of them work without consistency and balance it wasnt that I didnt care period, I just didnt care about material things,,,so something like grounding didnt work with me,, because I actually enjoyed being in my room on my own. Spanking worked, and like you was only used sparingly,,,along with plenty of positive reinforcement for good behavior, and plenty of explanation about the concept of CHOOSING consequences by CHOOSING actions,,, |
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My child is one that does not care!! I use spanking as absolute last resort and it doesn't work anyway!!!
I also never called her bad. Just her behavior is bad. I had her tested for ADD/ADHD... She has it according to the test. I am taking her to her pediatrician thurs for her opinion. I am not to happy about having to possibly use drugs--- this will also be a last resort |
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Edited by
Ladylid2012
on
Fri 04/30/10 10:28 AM
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Please be very careful with testing, labeling and drugging....
I drugged my oldest son and I so wish I could go back and do it differently. Just don't listen to the first doctor..look into alternative methods, energy healings, diet..there are so many things that can be done now besides drugs. It will alter the child's brain forever!! |
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Please be very careful with testing, labeling and drugging.... I drugged my oldest son and I so wish I could go back and do it differently. Just don't listen to the first doctor..look into alternative methods, energy healings, diet..there are so many things that can be done now besides drugs. It will alter the child's brain forever!! Thanks for the advice. I am going to be talking to a lot of people about this. I will not come to that decision lightly. Lucky for me I work at a hospital and talk to many doctors daily. |
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Please be very careful with testing, labeling and drugging.... I drugged my oldest son and I so wish I could go back and do it differently. Just don't listen to the first doctor..look into alternative methods, energy healings, diet..there are so many things that can be done now besides drugs. It will alter the child's brain forever!! Thanks for the advice. I am going to be talking to a lot of people about this. I will not come to that decision lightly. Lucky for me I work at a hospital and talk to many doctors daily. Your welcome..good luck to you with this. I have raised 3 sons..they are grown up now. The one i had constantly tested and drugged has so many issues to deal with now, He's a great great kid (well, 26 in a few weeks) but i wish i could have done it differently. So many new options open to you then i had 20 years ago. godspeed 
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My problem with ADHD tests is that it seems that all kids have it...when a good portion of them have a disease called B.A.C., Being A Child. They have energy, they have attention spans of a flea, but that is what being a child is. I imagine if we had been tested for adhd as children we all would have been diagnosed and drugged for it.
I actually feel bad for parents with children that really do have adhd, but how many of the kids that are drugged for it actually have it? I know in my town there seems to be a large number of kids with it...you'd figure if that many kids had adhd some medical association would investigate... |
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My problem with ADHD tests is that it seems that all kids have it...when a good portion of them have a disease called B.A.C., Being A Child. They have energy, they have attention spans of a flea, but that is what being a child is. I imagine if we had been tested for adhd as children we all would have been diagnosed and drugged for it. I actually feel bad for parents with children that really do have adhd, but how many of the kids that are drugged for it actually have it? I know in my town there seems to be a large number of kids with it...you'd figure if that many kids had adhd some medical association would investigate... yep, over diagnosed and over medicated. A quick fix to keep kids in check...while altering and changing their brain chemistry and creating a slew of issues later. But for now..yep they will be the good, well behaved child doing everything their told with a smile on their face. I'll take rowdy and rebellious over submissive and robotic any day.. |
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I agree 100% with lady!!
One day I went up to the middle school for a meeting. There was a long line of kids outside the nurses office. I thought it was for annual sports check-up asked the nurse!! It was the 1pm Ritalin line!!!! I was mortified!! WTF????? 
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