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| Topic: Is this a 'red flag'? | |
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If a person (a man in this case but...) is 47 and has never been married is that a red flag or am I over thinking it? I don't know any details yet. He comes into where I work and hangs around for awhile talking and I get the idea he likes me. I am just wondering about this...is it a red flag or am I being absurd/overly cautious?
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I think you need more information. There are a lot of reasons why someone could be 47 and never married.
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I wouldn't plan on having a LTR with him..
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He might be smart for one
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I wouldn't plan on having a LTR with him.. I agree. |
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Yes Lex, I know there can be many reasons but my red flag radar is usually pretty good, that's why I asked - to see if it would be a red flag to anyone else. The opposite happened to me, the last man I dated had been married 6!!!! times. I initially agreed to see him just to find out how one man could get 6 woman to marry him! We dated for 6 months before I moved 700 miles away, never did figure it out!
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I wouldn't plan on having a LTR with him.. Well actually, now that you mention it I am not looking for a LTR, rather a friend maybe with bennies - so if he is commitment shy he might be perfect for me!! |
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He might be smart for one LOL, right you are! Wrong too but LOLOLOL 
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I wouldn't plan on having a LTR with him.. Well actually, now that you mention it I am not looking for a LTR, rather a friend maybe with bennies - so if he is commitment shy he might be perfect for me!! Go for it! |
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I wouldn't plan on having a LTR with him.. I agree. So does this mean you might see it as a red flag too?? |
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Yes Lex, I know there can be many reasons but my red flag radar is usually pretty good, that's why I asked - to see if it would be a red flag to anyone else. The opposite happened to me, the last man I dated had been married 6!!!! times. I initially agreed to see him just to find out how one man could get 6 woman to marry him! We dated for 6 months before I moved 700 miles away, never did figure it out! My own inclination would be that multiple marriages are much more of a red flag than no marriages. Hey, I've been married once, and if I could go back in time and prevent it from ever happening, I would! I saw something on TV about "serial marriers" once, and it was a little disturbing. These are people who have been married 8 or 10 or 15 times. I got the impression they were addicted to the whole concept of marriage, and not so much interested in their spouses. Or maybe they were trying to break the world record! But if a guy is 47 and never married, that could mean he's just been so wrapped up in his career that he never had time for a relationship until now. Or maybe he just never found anyone he was really interested in or attracted to. (I'm a little biased because my situation is something like that.) Or he COULD be a serial killer who spent 28 years locked up and just got out! I just don't think you can make any blanket assessments without additional information. |
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I wouldn't plan on having a LTR with him.. Well actually, now that you mention it I am not looking for a LTR, rather a friend maybe with bennies - so if he is commitment shy he might be perfect for me!! Go for it! Have to get past short chats at my work first...His pick up so far was to ask me if I wanted to help him with some 'side work' he has lined up, then maybe get something to eat and if we become friends or more, well fine. It was noticed and very briefly discussed that neither of us have rings on the all telling finger, that's how I learned he has never been married. |
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Yes Lex, I know there can be many reasons but my red flag radar is usually pretty good, that's why I asked - to see if it would be a red flag to anyone else. The opposite happened to me, the last man I dated had been married 6!!!! times. I initially agreed to see him just to find out how one man could get 6 woman to marry him! We dated for 6 months before I moved 700 miles away, never did figure it out! My own inclination would be that multiple marriages are much more of a red flag than no marriages. Hey, I've been married once, and if I could go back in time and prevent it from ever happening, I would! I saw something on TV about "serial marriers" once, and it was a little disturbing. These are people who have been married 8 or 10 or 15 times. I got the impression they were addicted to the whole concept of marriage, and not so much interested in their spouses. Or maybe they were trying to break the world record! But if a guy is 47 and never married, that could mean he's just been so wrapped up in his career that he never had time for a relationship until now. Or maybe he just never found anyone he was really interested in or attracted to. (I'm a little biased because my situation is something like that.) Or he COULD be a serial killer who spent 28 years locked up and just got out! I just don't think you can make any blanket assessments without additional information. Actually he said both that he hadn't met the right person and that he works a lot. Let's hope he isn't a serial killer cause I would go out with him if we ever get that conversation going. Not trying to blanket here at all, just curious what others think, that's all! |
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Never married at forty-seven could mean a lot of things. He could be commitment phobic. Or he just never found the "right" fit. It could be that he's a serial killer and moves around a lot. For some women with agendas of long term relationships and eventual marriage that could be a huge red flag. If you are just looking for a friend try it and see where it goes.
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I bet he has cooties!
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I bet he has cooties! No! Anything but cooties!! Can you even keep cooties that long? I mean didn't we have cooties in grade school?? LOL |
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I would be a little bit cautious too. Whenever I see a 'never been married' I always wonder what's wrong with them. LOL. But it could be that he's never been married but has been in a long-term relationship.
But there again, there's the other argument of maybe better to go with someone who's never been married than with someone who's been married before, maybe more than once who may have negative baggage. Really, I wouldn't dismiss anyone because of their 'status'. If you find him interesting give him a chance, and find out his story and make your judgement based on that, and how you feel about him once you know him better. |
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Only if he invites you to dinner in his stoop...
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I wouldn't plan on having a LTR with him.. I agree. So does this mean you might see it as a red flag too?? Yes, but based on what you are looking for, it might work out. |
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I bet he has cooties! Is this him? 
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