If you are only using the site as a dating site, then I guess you would cancel your account after becoming exclusive with someone. But, most of the people who use the forums have friends here and would want to stay to keep in touch with them.

I have been on Mingle before twice and dropped off when I found someone both times. i have always been a one man woman. Both times the male dropped off too. Neither relationship worked out long term but I do not regret either.
This time around I believe that I will talk alot more in the forums and not have the expectations of a "one and only". I know it can and will happen for me one day. The trust that several have mentioned here of both of them remaining for the forums sounds healthy--i would love that for myself one day.
As far as you catching him on the site after he said he was going off--he knew you were disapointed, so if it was an accident if he was tuned into you he would have taken care of it. I have had the experiance of one guy going off of here because we were exclusive-BUT HE WENT ON ANOTHER FREE SITE--plenty fishy

Yeppers. Quite a people here have made friends here. Even though most of us never met anybody (or few people) in person, does that make them any less of a friend? When with my g/f of 12 years she managed to 'chase away' many of the friends(for many different reasons) I had and I was left with 'her friends'. Well, after we broke up (was not pretty and 5 years later I still do my best to avoid her) lots of 'her' friends had to take sides. Guess, which side they took..... Some of 'our friends' that I'm still in touch with are just recently learning some of the details of why we broke up. Including the fact that I'm STILL hoping to get her put away for multiple felony charges (that they had NO CLUE about to start with....). Going off topic a little here, but she stole 2 of my credit cards (issued from the bank she worked and was her idea to sign me up so she can meet her monthly quota) while we were living together and she charged up $30k (without my knowledge of course AND with VERY little to even show for it....after I found out....). She went as far as changing the address on one to her Mom's address so I wouldn't see the bills and for the other one she'd get the mail before I did so I didn't see it. This went on for 2 years! I NEVER use credit cards to start with, so I never thought anything about not getting a bill. Just my luck, the best man at her wedding 3 or so years ago is a cop in my town. The cops that patrol my area were changed and now SUCK (and many of my 'upper ties'....including the judges..... no longer have much influence in that dept.). Wait.....what was the question????

I agree. It's not what he did i.e. reactivating his account, it's the fact that he lied about it and played dumb when you mentioned it.

Well I'm fairly new here so I wouldn't really say I've laid a lot of track for friendships. Who knows? people seem pretty friendly and open. It seems like everyone is close and cares for one another as well as offer great advice. I think its a lot better than sites like Facebook in many ways. People are far more intelligent and you don't see a lot of the usually politically correct comments you do on your "typical" social networking site.

On the issue at hand, that's the thing guys will do. And it sucks beyond anything to be lied to when you think you know someone. I hate it more than I can say. You pour your heart and time into someone and he goes and does this. *sigh* The best thing is getting rid of him. It is ultimately your choice.

ya I can basically agree with this

do what u want to do with your account OP

Keep in mind, she also still has an account here that says 'looking', so it's not one sided. They're both playing games with it.

It's not only guys who do that.........

possible

but I don't see anything wrong with her reactivating if things aren't solid with the dude (who does sound playa)

I am a straight girl Don't know this, don't date them.

So they BOTH keep doing it instead of one stepping up and setting things straight? THAT'S a relationship headed for disaster from the start.........

Yes but she mentioned that she de-activated and was told by “a friend” that his was still active.

First of all exclusive wouldn't happen for a while. If he wants it too soon then something is not right with him. So how long into this thing are you?

Second of all, if it is reactivated or never deactivated then you need to let him know you will not be exclusive until both of you are doing the same thing at the same time.

Personally this would be a show of untrustworthiness and I would back off. We could stay friends but no romance.

I found ladies in my neighborhood. Im not trying to pick anybody up they all live to far away anyway.

Oh I thought it was already done. so i was saying that if he has secretly reactivated and they fell out over it....so it's basically over, then I don;t see why she wouldn't reactivate

besides if a guy did that to me I'd consider it grounds to start looking.....(in other words that would end things in my opinion)

I do agree with you though in a general sense that of course both men and women are capable of deception, and it never helps - always hurts a relationship

i agree with the both should have closed there accounts if it bothers you for the other to be online.

Good for you, congratulations TXGAL, so happy for you! Post some pics. :)

He's a liar, he had to reactivate himself. Do you think he had you deactivate yours, then he did his and then reactivated, knowing you did not have an account so therefore thinking you would not find out. Seems shady to me. . . in agreement with txgal, I have been dating someone on here exclusively for over 6 months, and we both still have our accounts here still. We have friends on here. WHy would I throw them away.

Interesting thread.

When I was with my ex for 6 1/2 years, I simply stopped using any online chat sites. Accounts would be dormant for so long, they'd deactivate themselves. If I find somebody, I will just simply stop using these sites & concentrate on the relationship :-)

I used to be an addict on chat sites, meeting and making a lot of friends, but you don't realise how over the top it is until you take a step back. I've not logged in here for a while, as there's nobody from the UK lol.

Anyway, no point in lying/hiding things from each other. No trust at the start of a relationship = it's not gonna last very long.

This is for the newer people......

In order for this place to work, you will spend alot of time here and grow to meet alot of cool and interesting people who will become actual friends.....Friends who ain't your lover and will never be. But, they are real and actual friends.

I got hooked up here with the woman who is the love of my life. I am still here and so is she. We both have made great friend here that we have actually met and hung out with and really enjoyed the internet social scene. It does lead to actual face to face time.

IF you are the kind of persn who thinks that once attatched...you are supposed to cut all social ties.....I wouldn't date ya.

If I need someone to tell me what to do...I will just call my parents