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| Topic: don't feel ready | |
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Hi Everyone,
I had gone off Mingle because I really feel I met someone I could spend the rest of my life with. The problem? I feel it's too soon. I just got divorced on 9/10. Not even two years. We separated on 3/22/10. I filed on on 3/23/10. I feel like this is all too soon. As most of you know, I had an accidentally flooding of my condo in December and I also lost my Grandmother to a very tragic mistake made by the hospital she was in. I just do not feel ready. He has been ready for years awaiting for a person like me. Problem is, I am not really ready to give my body, life and soul over to someone yet. I am just not. I am still settling into my life here. I mean I feel I am just NOW emotionally and physically settling into my new life here. The idea of ripping me out of it is too much for me. Any advice?? TL |
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You don't have to bail on us. Hang in there. Even if you do find someone you will probably have friends here. You may have been Minglelized (Institutionalized by being on Mingle
 )
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I think you're wise to hold back for the time being. But stop going away from Mingle. People like to talk to you and hear what you have to say. In fact, maybe you should think of Mingle as an antidote to impulse dating.
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Edited by
SanneHan
on
Fri 03/02/12 03:45 AM
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If you don't feel ready for anything, chances are that's because you are not. That's not a crime or even a flaw, it's just a fact.
If your partner really wants you, he will give you all the time you need... Or draw a line, without angry feelings. I for one wake up every morning hoping that the sky has turned bright green - but I have to accept the facts of life. Oh, and DON'T stop socializing, not even here... Persons can be persons only when they interact with other people. Only rocks can settle on their own... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eb6aH9Sg2Ns |
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If he's really been waiting, then he is good at waiting and shouldnt mind more of the same, particularly now that he has a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. If he indicates that he minds waiting, then I wouldnt trust him at all. I think you are VERY smart to wait. If he wants a real relationship, then he will feel that way too, and see the benefit of waiting. If sex is involved in a relationship, its too easy to lose objectivity in getting to know the actual person. Ya, I just feel any major change is too much. I mean I am just now learning how to deal with wind and snow. Seriously. My life is good here. I am just settling in. I am just now changing over my magazines subscriptions to the new address. I feel that I need to settle in where I am. I also do not want to the guy who stays with me or wants me for the sex like you say, it definitely clouds judgment. |
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Do what feels right and good for you. FInd your centre. The rest will come.
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I have been "dating" but I have not been "committing" to anyone. I am not ready to have someone I need to answer to, etc. I am just out to have a good time right now which a certain select few. I am not out ho'ing around but if you start referring to me as "Yours" or saying the "M" words - moving or marriage. I am GONE.
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Good call. Kudos. Who wants to be mindless controlled robot? Let freedom ring.
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i know the 'not ready' feeling! especially because i had been married for so long. divorced now for 4 years, and still not ready for anything but 'me' time.
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